Opposites - Inosuke x Zenitsu

9. Promise

Zenitsu's Pov:

I woke up drenched in sweat in my bed. I was so agitated that I had to hold back from crying. (Do you know that feeling when you know something isn't real, or just a dream, but you still feel scared of it? That's how Zenitsu feels right now.) I needed to get away. So, I quietly got up and tiptoed to the door. The wooden floor, now repaired, creaked loudly with every small movement. Luckily, Tanjiro, Nezuko, and Inosuke seemed to be fast asleep. I couldn't help but cast a fleeting glance at Inosuke... well, I had INTENDED to cast a fleeting glance at him. However, that turned into a two-minute stare, unfortunately. His eyes closed, and his mouth slightly ajar, I heard his soft breathing. A strand of his blue hair hung over his face. I couldn't resist gently brushing it away. But suddenly, Inosuke began to stir! Damn! Didn't he have a heightened sense of touch? He's going to wake up for sure!!!

I started to make my way to escape when he suddenly grabbed my hand! "...Ze-...Zen..." he mumbled something but still seemed to be asleep. His pulse, even in his current state, was too low. "...Zen-...Zenitsu... please don't leave me..." What?! What did he say? And as if he had spoken my thoughts out loud, Inosuke repeated, "Zenitsu... please don't leave me... Don't leave me alone... please..." I was completely shocked, and I realized what I had done. I was such a selfish person, toying with someone else's feelings! Did Inosuke really have feelings for me? Me?! The one who would hit on any random girl? How could anyone have feelings for me? Or... he wanted to get back at me, and this is just a silly prank, and he's just acting all this!... No, I'm so foolish. His pulse wouldn't be this low if he wasn't awake... and if this was really real, then... does Inosuke really have feelings for me?! Did he even enjoy the kiss, and I ruined everything?

But... that's... not possible! Inosuke himself said it once: he doesn't need love, and he will never love anyone! Plus, even if, which is definitely NOT the case, how would Tanjiro react to that? He would definitely freak out, and the fantastic trio: 'Tanjiro, Inosuke, and Zenitsu, the thickhead, the boar, and the scaredy-cat' would be over! Finished! Forever! Tanjiro would hate us, and - or not? But it's not just about the precious friendship with Tanjiro, and of course Nezuko! I didn't even know what Inosuke was to me!

I had always had crushes on girls, never on a boy! Is it different from having a crush on a girl? No... my mistake... I've never really been in love... at least not with any girl I tried to flirt with. Was the kiss really a mistake?... or was it a mistake to regret it? One of them must have been, because otherwise, Inosuke would be jumping around, laughing, wanting to fight with everyone, and wearing that weird mask all the time. I thought I would hate that annoying, hyperactive side of Inosuke, but somehow, all of that makes him... complete. Without those things, he just wouldn't be Inosuke Hashibira.

Still, is this how being in love feels, or was it just my stubborn, weird behavior acting up again? Is that really the behavior of a tsundere... or am I just a selfish jerk that no one would ever understand?! Not even myself???

My mind was like a dense forest that I had to explore more and more to somehow figure myself out. It's really sad that I'm tearing myself apart like this. Suddenly, something dawned on me, and I sharply inhaled. It was never about Inosuke or Tanjiro... It was always about me! I hadn't treated Inosuke nicely at all. Sure, he wasn't friendly to me either, but I've been pretty dumb sometimes. Plus, I've spent my whole life bothering girls who never wanted anything to do with me. Including Nezuko. I was truly so selfish.

Ultimately, I didn't care which girl I ended up with, as long as it was anyone! Then I kissed Inosuke for some unknown reason, and everything got more complicated! Did I do that out of my own egoism, or was it just a knee-jerk reaction because I was so fed up with myself and my life?! Was I trying to prove something to myself? Or could it even be that I... really... I mean, really, really, really... have a crush on Inosuke?! If that were the case, I would have made the biggest mistake ever by far, because now Inosuke probably not only believes that I want nothing to do with him, but he has also lost the will to live! Could it perhaps be true that he genuinely, genuinely liked me?! Really liked me?!

I know that might sound a bit selfish, but maybe he really was in love with me and wanted to be with me! That would be amazing! But... that would also mean that I messed up everything in every possible way! I really should go outside for some fresh air. Maybe I could think more clearly in the cold evening air. Inosuke was still holding my hand, and honestly, I wanted to hold onto it forever! His hands were as beautiful and delicate as a doll's. I gently squeezed Inosuke's hand a little as I let out a trembling breath. "Don't worry, Inosuke. I'll make things right.