Takes One To Know One

Chapter 6

Luke and I walked behind the rest of the group back to the Adolescent Building for our second therapy group of the day. Every once in a while Luke would make a joke and I’ll laugh like an idiot, occasionally I’d stop walking just to laugh.

We walked into the building and hung our winter coats on the rack outside of the room we normally go into. We walk in and I go to the seat I normally sit everyday, next to Bella and Grace. On my left, instead of Grace sitting there, Luke is there.

“Don’t you normally sit with your friends over there?” I point to a group of guys goofing off on the opposite side of the room.

“I thought I’d sit next to you instead. Do you mind?” He asked me.

I smile, “No. Of course not.”

A man walks in wearing brown slacks and a blue button down shirt. He seemed overall nice and was constantly smiling. It took him a minute to quiet us all down.

“Hello everyone,” he began. “I’m Jasper. I’m here to talk to you about DBT. Does anyone know who that is?” He looks around at several people’s hands raised and points to a boy who Luke normally sits with.

“Yes, Noah?” He asked him. Noah sits up in his seat and brushed his messy brown hair with his hand.

“It means Dialectical Behavior Therapy,” Noah answered.

“Exactly, good job. Dialectical Behavior Therapy is where you learn techniques for emotional regulation. What I’m going to teach you today is called a Make It Better Letter. Remember, this may work for some people but for others it might not,” he said while handing out a sheet of paper to everyone in the room. The paper says “Make It Better Letter” in large letters on the top and blanks to fill in the prompts. The letter is formatted in different prompts and we have to finish the sentence:

Dear…

I’m very (verb; for example, angry) that…

What happened made me think that…

I am (was) afraid that…

I am sorry that…

All I really want(ed) is (was)…

I appreciate…

Thank you for…

Sincerely…

“So you all can fill in the letter and take your time writing it,” he says. I pull out a pen from my bag and I instantly know whom I’m going to write about, Dylan, since he’s the reason I’m in this place.

Dear Dylan,

I’m very angry that you bullied me by calling me fat, ugly, Shrek, and other names. I’m angry because you made me so depressed that I felt the need to turn to cutting.

What happened made me think that I’m stupid, worthless, and mean nothing in this world and nothing to you. It also made me think that I should do something stupid like cut myself, and even worse, suicide.

I was afraid of going to school and going through the same torture each and every day. I was also afraid you hated me and would make everyone else hate me.

I’m sorry that I took everything you said so literally and personally. I was so easily affected by what you did to me. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to fit the battle you’ve given me at hand.

All I really wanted was a healthy relationship and to feel special and happy. I wanted us to be friends and spend time together. I wanted to feel safe in school, not constantly scared of what you might do to me.