We can, but we can't.

Hello, my name is Cy. Let’s just keep it that way. I’m a transferee in DLSU. I want to know as many people as I can, because I didn't have any friends back then. I struggled in my last school year back in my old school, I had to fight for myself, my dignity, and my pride. It’s me and myself against the whole class.

“This is it, my first day of school” I said to myself, as I walked inside the classroom, their smiles warmly greeted me. I felt welcome in that class. I never had this feeling since I was in Elementary. The day ended and it’s time to go home.

I messaged everyone in their accounts to get close with them, one of them replied. “Uy, ang bilis ah” She replied to my message, her name is Trinity, she was my first friend in school. I will never forget this day, kasi masaya na ako dito kahit hindi ko pa sila kilala ng gaano. We talked for a while on our own Social Media and I was happy I had my first friend on the first day of school also. She introduced me to her friends, “Tatlo pala kayong mag-kakaibigan?” I said, and she replied happily with a “Yes!” I met Vee and Lyn. I was happier than ever, because I slowly got to meet and talk to my classmates.

A week passed by, I asked myself  “Bakit puro babae palang kilala ko?” I made a Group Chat with the boys in my class (Makapal kasi mukha ko) para maki-salamuha sa kanila. But, something unexpected happened. They somehow bullied me and teased me for my actions and I was shocked because of their personality. “Bakit ganito sila?” I asked Vee, Lyn, and Trinity. They were also shocked at the boys’ personality kung bakit ganon sila, they didn’t even know where to start. Three of them helped me to make them stop, kasi kahit ako na-iinis at kumu-kulo na dugo ko sa kanila, hindi ko alam nagawa ko no’n but I know na sinagot-sagot ko sila sa GC. Then there’s this one boy, classmate ko rin at na sa GC rin s’ya. He messaged me and explained something to me.. I was confused that time I just- Don’t know how to react and reply after I read his explanation. His explanation was “Hey Cy, ako na hihingi ng pasensya sa nagawa nila, nag-bibiruan lang naman kasi kami at akala namin nakikipag-biruan ka rin sa amin, kaya nag-patuloy ang biruan sa isa’t isa. Pasensya na talaga, gusto ka namin makilala.” I just sat there and while staring at his message, with my reaction face na ‘Mukha ba akong nakikipag biruan sa inyo?’

Later on, all of us are chill with each other na. (Parang mga baliw ‘di ba?) Also the guy that messaged me, his name is Jed and we were hanging out for a few times already with the other boys too. “Ang saya.” Those were the only thoughts I hear in my mind whenever I’m with them.

Class Hours namin, nag papa-recite Professor namin, he used this filipino styled tray, I think it’s called “Bao” in tagalog. He asked us to sing the song ‘Row Row Row your boat’ and when he says stop we will stop passing around the Bao. The game started and unfortunately, I was picked to recite about our topic. I admit it, I’m not that smart to answer his questions easily. As I thought about what to answer, I looked at the left side of the row and saw a girl. She has this expression of worried or kind of wanting to laugh at me. Because of that, I was more nervous and didn’t know what to do. Thankfully my Professor said the answer and let me sit down in my chair. I couldn't take it, I was so nervous that day. I still kept asking myself  “who was that girl? and why was she laughing at me?”

We had a group activity and I was paired with her too, it was a roleplay activity, which is where I excel best. I made the ideas of our roleplay, and it went smoothly and everyone applauded us for our work. Her name is Chi, the girl who laughed at me. We talked and bonded for a while for us to get close to each other, as it turns out she was nice and kind after all. I still don’t know why she was trying to hold her laugh at me that time though.. One day I asked her about that incident, she laughed at me.. Again.. She told me that she wasn’t trying to laugh, she just didn't know how to express her feelings at that time because she was also nervous  at that moment.