forever means forever (lesbians)

3.

(its been a couple of years since i started writing this so bear with me)

Lillies pov

I guess forever only means until the other dies.

"What the fuck happened!" Lillith cried. "How could you do this to her!"

She's upset. She's allowed to be angry at me.

"It was an accident. She was saying to go higher. How could I say no to her! I'm so so sorry. She just let go." I exclaimed.

Lillith realised how distraught I was about this. She relaxed her face - only a little bit - and gave me a hug. I never realised how much hugs mean to you if theyre from one special person. But as soon as Lillith put her arms around me - all I could do was imagine it was Esther.

"What if... what if she's still alive somewhere? I never saw her body. I just saw the fall. She could've made it!" I shouted. She could've made it!

"You know thats not true Lillie. I want ti believe it too but you know it's just not possible."

It's been a few months now and it's time to go back to school. I've never been this scared in my life. I can't deal without Esther. Me and Chris barely talk now. He's too busy with his things going on and the only other person I speak to briefly is Lucaas.

I glance down at my necklace. Somewhere on this Earth, Esther is wearing the same one. She's alive - I know it.

I take a step into school. No matter how hard it is for me, I have to stay strong. Dont let anyone know your weaknesses.

All I can picture is Esther's face through that door. Staring at me jolly as can be. Why wasn't it me who fell, or jumped, or let go - I dont know. All I know is it should've been me. I wish it was me.

As I got into school nothing was new. Rushed corridors. Rushed people. Shouting from teachers to get off their phones and get to form. Except it's all a lie. Everything has changed. For me at least.

I look over at the cheerleading squad. They're happy. How are they happy!? How is it fair? She was their star cheerleader. But now they don't even care that she's gone!

They have locked the gates so I can't even skip school today. I think if I did anyway I wouldn't be allowed back with how many attendances i've missed.

I end up going to find Lillith. I know we're not the closest right now but she's the only one who really knows how I feel right now.

When I find her she was with Ivy - not that i'm surprised I just thought Chris would be with her too.

"Have you spoke to Lucaas and the family much?" I asked. I really hope she isn't still angry at me. It really wasn't my fault.

"No. Only a week after it happened at the family. Have you?" She replied begrudgingly.

"Oh. I've spoke to Lucaas quite a few times but you know her parents weren't the happiest that I was her friend."

She laughed replying something about how they truly disliked me but I zoned out. Her laugh truly reminded me of Esther. That laugh. The one I heard when she disappeared through the clouds.

"We'll meet again."

I really really hope so. But maybe she's still out there.

I came back to reality and all I remember was the next second Lillith was hugging me.

I hope I find her.