violent delights.

04. regret

Diamonds. It was as if thousands of tiny diamonds illuminated my vision. The prickles of light left me blinded once I opened my eyes, but once it settled, it was almost intoxicating. The view in front of me mostly. Edward Cullen. He looked almost ashamed. As if the thousands of diamonds that scattered around his pale, porcelain skin was one to be ashamed of. I thought of it as rather beautiful.

I yearned for him. For his touch. I felt myself inching closer to him, feeling entranced by the shining crystals that embodied him. Even as I walked closer, he felt farther than ever, refusing to meet my eye-line.

"Edward." I said softly, reaching out for his hand.

His touch was no longer ice. It was cold, but it melted within your touch as if I was the fire, his fire.

Once I closed my eyes, wanting to take in the feeling of his touch, I felt rain. Trickles of it touching my skin, rather than the warm heat of rare Forks sun.

Edward was no longer in front of me. No longer a shining crystal in front of the warm sun rays. Instead, he was across from me, on the other end of the parking lot shooting burning glares towards me. I couldn't bring myself to look away. Not even when the screeching sounds of tires had rushed its way towards me, not even when I saw him rush towards me in a millisecond. My eyes never left him even when his gaze turned from harsh to soft as he pushed the van backwards, hearing the crunch of both my car and the van.

His eyes. Even in the dull light, they shined the same golden topaz.

I woke in the middle of the night longing for another gaze in his eyes.

౨ৎ ₊˚ 🦢・₊ ✧

Once I entered the school grounds, I found myself to be the center of the school's attention for the rest of that month. Tyler Crowley wouldn't leave me be, even after I insisted time and time again that not even a scratch was left behind from the accident, but he remained just a step behind you almost the entire day of school... everyday... He walked, no, followed me to classes and joined my crowded lunch table, always trying to squish himself between Angela and I before ultimately giving up and seating himself next to Mike. Mike and Eric seemed like less of a fan of Tyler than I was, making it clear in their expressions that he was unwelcomed.

I didn't bother to ask anyone about Edward's position as the hero in the accident. I didn't need him to despise me even more than he already did. No one else saw it as a miracle like I did, rather they shrugged it off, assuming Edward had been beside me the entire time. Even Tyler convinced himself that he'd seen Edward. But, I knew better than that.

I wondered to myself why no one else had seen him standing so far away, when I realized... no one else was as aware of Edward as I always was. No one else watched him the way I did. Edward was never surrounded by the crowds of curious bystanders like I was. People avoided him at all costs. Unlike me, who people saw as the prize of the school for whatever reason. It disgusted me, but I let it be. I knew from the first time I'd come back from visiting my mom in California after she moved that I was seen as 'different'. The first clue was the pale Forks residents who, for some reason, enjoyed joking about how I was the tannest of them all, comparing skin tones at any chance they could get. Once I got into high school, I noticed how the boys looked at me. I was different, but in a good way to them, like I was a shiny new toy at the beginning of each semester. I hated it. The Cullens and the Hales on the other hand, sat at the same table and kept to themselves. None of them even bothered to look towards me anymore, not even Edward, which left an unsettling twinge in my heart. I didn't know him, not really. I knew it shouldn't hurt as much as it does, rather I should be far more annoyed, but I couldn't help the pull I felt towards him...