My love JJ❤️

I'm sick of this.

As I got home, I felt very sick from my hungover. So I went upstairs and took a nap. I must have slept for about 3 hours. Until I heard banging on the front door, I got up and went to my window to see rafes care outside. I went down the stairs and opened the door.

"Hey Rafe sorry I was taking a nap" I said to him looking down.

He put his finger on my chin and moved my head up to look at him "where did you go last night y/n you just disappeared" he said.

"Honestly idk Rafe I was pretty wasted last night, I must have walked home" I said to him obviously lieing.

"You walked all the way to your house from the cut?" He said to me confused and not believing me.

"I woke up in my bed this morning so unless you brought me home or someone else did then yes " I said to him trying to make my point across.

"Okay baby I believe you" he said to me and went in for a kiss, I kissed him back but this time there was no butterflies like usual "are your parents home" he asked.

"No why" I smiled at him so he wouldn't get mad.

He shut the door behind him "can we go upstairs baby" I knew what he wanted to do, I wasn't gonna fight him on it as much as I didn't want to so we went upstairs.

When we went upstairs he pushed me on the bed and got ontop of me and started kissing me all over. It hurt his body against all the bruises on my body but I pretended I was fine. When he saw the bruises he stopped and looked up at me "I'm so sorry baby you know I love you" he said with a smirk on his face.

I didn't wanna say it was okay because it wasn't so I just smiled and kissed him. He took his shirt off and unclipped my bra and so on.

After we were done I turned around " do you wanna watch a movie Rafe " I said to him but as I spoke he was already out of bed putting his clothes on " sorry babe but I promised I'd go see topper after I was done here". I looked at him with no emotion in my face.

"After you were done here?" I said to him angrily "so what you came here to hook up and then dip"

"Babe what else did you think I wanted your only good at one thing" he said rolling his eyes as he walked out the door.

I put my knees to my chest as I started to cry. I was done with this, I was done trying to keep a shitty relationship for some dumb reputation. I wanted real friends at this point and a real relationship that I felt butterflies when I saw them. Who made me feel special. I hated this place. I hated my life. I was done with everything and that's why I decided I was gonna  go to my favorite place and finally be at peace for ever.

I jumped in my Jeep and drove to my favorite beach on the cut. I made up my mind, I was gonna end this pain tonight.....