Nights Like These

Thirty: thick skinned

Start of May (38 days before)

It was weeks later, everything seemed dull and sullen- the air was tainted by the stench of death. The clouds were over taking the sky and the sun seemed to vanish. No one was really talking with one another, though everyone in the college had a discussion in the hall about suicide.

Because ostensibly that's what they believed it was

Suicide.

Alec jumped to his death, he was fed up of everything to do with life. So he threw himself out of the window. The police were useless, the teachers were deluded and Alec's parents were in denial while all his friends were grieving in their own depressing ways.

Everyone fell for his apparent death- how it happened, they fell like he did. Quick and hard, wanting to grasp onto anything that would make sense of this whole mess.

Anytime Liam heard Alec's name out of someone's mouth he wanted to crumble to the floor and stay there, be consumed by it. Let himself drown in what could have been, what could he had done differently?

He can't help thinking what Alec thought in his moments of death, why someone would even want to push him out a window. It wasn't like he was hated, just sometimes the runt in the litter, picked on and mocked.

He was probably confused as to why he and Theo was there, and why they didn't try and do better. To help or do something. Liam had been thinking the same.

He can't shake the feeling that it is all his fault- his and Theo's really. They started this mess, they're the targets of this whole thing, it just seems like everyone else is getting hurt because of them.

Issac has shut himself off, he spends his nights now in his room in solitude, basking in his sorrow. With a ghost sat besides him in the empty bed, he doesn't sleep enough, eat enough. Not without hearing Alec's laugh in his mind or tripping over something the boy once owned.

Alec was truly everywhere but no where.

Theo was the worst, he didn't let himself feel about it. He didn't cry, shed no tears while Tracy and Issac were blubbering messes and Liam was scared.

Theo was stone, a rock. Nothing could peirce through his composure, he pretended nothing had effect on him but Liam knew this did. How could it not? They were friends with Alec, Liam not for very long but he had gotten to know him, and he wasn't that bad of a guy.

He was funny and sweet, and now Theo is down a friend. And he's not even showing remorse over it.

The door opens to the dorm room and Liam sits up, he notices Theo coming in and he glances at the time. It's 1am, he wonders what he came home from. "Where were you?" He decided to question as Theo turns to him for a moment, he shrugs and shuts the door carefully, placing his bag down.

"A deal" Liam furrows his brows and pulls a baggy hoodie on, one that smells like Theo because it is his.

"A deal, how did it go?" He questions because he wants Theo to tlak, he hasn't spoken much lately. Not really, and he always seems to be out and about, Theo shrugs again. Not really answering.

Liam sighs, "look Theo you have to talk about it one of these days" he starts quietly, fidgeting with his fingers. "You can't keep this in forever" he begs and Theo turns to him, stopping. "It's been weeks, you need to talk about it. He was your friend" Theo holds his hand up and Liam sighs, stopping what he was saying.

They've had a funeral for Alec, everyone showed up. They left trinkets on his grave and flowers that he liked, they said pretty words and they looked up into the sky up at him. Then it rained and the floor got muddy and slippery, and so they all left one by one. Theo and Liam being the last ones there. Watching how the rained made a pool around his grave as if it was a hug.