Know When To Stop

Chapter 3 Sebastian's POV

I watch from the mountain top as the Hogwarts Express passes by below me. They're both on there somewhere. Headed back to the place they still call home. Maybe they've grown to hate me in these past months or perhaps they've forgotten me altogether. Something has been drawing me back for weeks now but I still cannot bring myself to return to school. The despair in my heart is still so heavy and I fear facing inevitable changes in the people I miss most would undo all the progress I've made.

Anne's letters are the only thing that have kept me from going insane. She was reluctant in the beginning to stay in contact with me but now she is asking me to see her. I was never capable of telling my twin no so here I am on my way back to Feldcroft. Not a soul aside from Anne knowing my plans. I've spent a lot of time away from everyone, only traveling to places I'm sure nobody will recognize me. Countrysides and coastlines my parents visited together and wrote of. Even spending a little time amongst the muggles in Paris. The music, food and art there was something to behold, my only regret was not having Anne, Ominis or Charlotte there with me. Especially Charlie who could've helped me understand muggle customs better since she's spent so much time amongst muggles in her youth.

The train is almost to the castle now. I watch as it grows smaller in the distance and the only thought in my head is Charlotte Diggory. Dancing around my thoughts like an enchanted ballerina. Surely she'd have changed into her school robes by now, probably devouring pumpkin pasties with Poppy at her side. Or Ominis. Anyone but that git Garreth Weasley. The small minded Gryffindor has probably attached himself to her side since I left her behind. I'd noticed the way Garreth looked at her in fifth year, by sixth year he was openly flirting with her in front of everybody. Jealousy wasn't a feeling I'd been accustomed to but any time a professor paired the two of them up for assignments my blood boiled wishing it was me in his position. What I wouldn't give to duel him properly and humiliate him in front of the girl everyone has been vying for since we laid eyes upon her.

I think back to the night I said goodbye to her almost a year ago now. I should've held her longer in that hug or kissed her when it was over. She looked so beautiful with the moonlight shimmering in her hazel eyes. Her copper red hair smelled of vanilla and honey and made my body feel as if it was being affected by a thunderbrew potion. I don't have to brew amortentia to know what it would smell like to me. I had never felt that before. Honestly I don't think I would've returned to Hogwarts at all after what I did, had it not been for Charlie. She saved me from unimaginable darkness. Nobody in my entire life had made me feel as understood and accepted as she did. I'd never understood how other boys could be so nervous speaking with girls, until I met her and my hands got clammy each time she spoke my name or giggled at something I said. Merlin, I'd do anything even if I looked a fool, so long as it meant I could hear that intoxicating laugh of hers, it was well worth it. I couldn't bare to drag her down with me any longer though, and if I'd have kissed her or shared my true feelings she never would've let me leave.

Last year at Hogwarts Charlotte and I were on everyone's tongue. If it wasn't whispers about me practicing dark magic or her being the savior of Hogwarts, it was talk of how unusual it was that we spent so much time at one another's side. On more than one occasion I overheard classmates talking in the common room or courtyards when they weren't aware I was around. Hissing things to each other like, "What could she possibly see in him? The Troll Slayer and Sebastian? He hardly attends classes nowadays surely she'll move on to one of us." My personal favorite was, "It's no surprise that Sallow and Gaunt are trying to teach her the Dark Arts. I've always said those two are bad news."

Of course, none of our classmates truly knew what happened with Solomon or the relic inside the catacomb, but somehow the speculation that I'd taught my new charge the unforgivable's had spread like wildfire. Naturally stories were created that Ominis must have taught them to me and we must be to blame for Anne's curse as well. A bit of practicing gone wrong that left poor Anne forever changed. They also claimed we were only interested in Charlotte to take advantage of her ancient magic. I guess in some ways the rumors held truth. I had taught her the unforgivable curses, I am to blame for too much of the pain my sister has to endure, and I was taking advantage of Charlotte at the time even if I didn't do it intentionally. Ominis only ever tried to stop me and in return was made a villain to people who never took the chance to know him. I hope my absence has at least altered that.

In my travels I came across a wizard who knew my parents named, Malfoy. He invited me to stay in his manor for a few weeks before continuing on. Their family are all proud pureblood Slytherin's but his children had gone to visit their grandparents in London now that school had ended. Mr. Malfoy showed me old school photographs and letters he'd kept that held memories of my Mom and Dad. He'd known my Mother first but my Father and him got on quickly after being introduced and stayed in contact up until my parents untimely demise. Learning new information about Mom and Dad brought me back to my childhood. I listened to stories of my Mother doing everything in her power to keep my Father, Mr. Malfoy and their other friends out of trouble. Everything the man told me lined up perfectly with who I remember them to be. My Mom a kind, gentle woman who valued friendship and knowledge and my Father a brilliant man who always had his nose in a book if he wasn't testing out a new experiment or doting on my Mother's talents and beauty. 

Living with Solomon and being exposed his constant disdain for my Father had turned me cold, taught me to push away the memories of my once very happy family. All I had begun to know was cruelty and neglect, my uncle never even bothered to provide me a proper bed. Ominis and I would always pitch a tent outside or stay in an small abandoned shack near my uncles home together on holidays. None of it mattered to me at the time, or at least I didn't realize how much damage it was really doing to me. The only thing I cared about was Anne and Solomon never did wrong by my sister. Until he started standing in the way of me finding her a cure. Until he started questioning my devotion to those I love.

I'm not sure when I began riding my broom towards Feldcroft again but I notice now that I'm only minutes from being back at my sisters side. I haven't seen Anne since the day it all happened. I wasn't sure if all of this was a dream or not yet and I hope if it is I won't awake anytime soon. I see the small hamlet that I haven't stepped foot near in almost two years and I feel my stomach drop. Suddenly I'm terrified.. No I am petrified. My broom stopped just above the grass and can't will myself to step off of it.

"C'mon you fool. She's asked you back this isn't a trap of some sort. It's only Anne." Talking aloud to myself has become a sort of solace for me but more than anything I miss the playful rebuttals of my friends. I slowly walk towards the entrance of the cottage and as if she knew I was out here, Anne swings open the door.

"Sebastian! It's about time you got here I've been waiting so the tea wouldn't go cold before you arrived!" Without thinking I rush to her and wrap her in a hug.

"Anne! Oh Merlin! I thought this whole thing was a dream or something! I've missed you so much. I can't believe I'm standing here." All of my fears wash away when she responds,

"Welcome home darling brother. I can't wait to hear of your travels. I have so much to share with you. Come inside I've prepared all your favorite foods for you on the table."

She looks almost exactly like our Mother in the photos Mr. Malfoy gifted me. My cheeks hurt from how hard I'm smiling but I can't stop even when I feel tears welling in my eyes and a lump in my throat. I hug her again and then follow her inside trying to organize my thought and emotions. I'm going to prove to Anne that she can trust me now. I can't keep going on by myself it's gotten rather lonely these past few weeks.

"Oh Anne.. thank you" I barely choke the last words out as my voice cracks and I begin sobbing.