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Violet's heart hammered in her chest. Her eyes fell shut as she concentrated on the steady ebb and flow of the Force. She stood in one of the Temple's training rooms alone. Her fingers tightened around the hilt of her lightsaber, feeling the grooves and cool metal against her skin — it still felt foreign in her grasp. The weapon emitted a distinct hum when she ignited the vibrant blue blade. She swung the lightsaber around, cutting through the air, to practise her forms. Any outsider knew that Violet could recite these movements in her sleep, but, in practice, she constantly doubted herself.
In the months since Ahsoka had left for war, Violet had moved to focus solely on training. She did not want to be left wandering the Temple alone for the duration of the war. Violet forced herself to improve. She missed her best friend constantly and wished Ahsoka's battalion would return to Coruscant. It wasn't that they could not contact each other (they talked to each other over Holos every night); Violet just missed seeing her best friend outside a flickering blue hologram; she wanted to hold Ahsoka in her arms like she did when they were kids.
She wanted to be a padawan (it was the best way for her to gain more control over her life), but Violet grew wary of becoming one as she believed she wasn't ready. As much as Violet tried to deny it to herself, the belief did not lay deep inside her; it bubbled on the surface. And it had been drilled into her by the Jedi Council. Two years ago, Violet travelled to Ilum with a group of other younglings to partake in the Gathering and find her kyber crystal to build her lightsaber. The day was supposed to be significant, to show that the younglings were worthy of entering the next stage of their Jedi training. But Violet failed. She never discovered her crystal and was stuck using training sabers and other spares until she could finally make her own.
The lightsaber Violet had worked well enough, but she had no connection to it. Even before they entered the crystal caverns, Violet said she could not feel the Force like the others. But Master Yoda insisted that she would find it. Afterwards, he changed his words to claim that Violet would find her kyber crystal when the time was right. She would return to Ilum in a few years and find it then. Violet argued that she could sense her crystal somewhere else, but no one listened to her.
If Violet was not ready to make her lightsaber, how could she prove that it was time for her to become a padawan? She tried to hide her jealousy when she heard Ahsoka talk about her missions and training with Anakin Skywalker, but Violet hated getting left behind. (She'd never been anyone's first choice; she was always second best.)
She continued working on her forms and moved to practise with the training equipment, using it as an outlet for her irritation. She wished her parents never let the Jedi take her; that way, things would be easier — she would be worry-free and happy. But what if the Jedi found her earlier instead? She wouldn't be behind and wouldn't feel trapped by her memories. (Either way, she would know Ahsoka in the same way.) As she sliced through another droid dummy, its pieces falling by her feet, Violet was interrupted.
