even the unknowns ; chenji

what people do

chenle

This is kind of totally Chenle's scene.

They're sitting at a big round table with Jisung's grandparents and a few of their friends, in a dining hall noisy and packed with people. He's been called a stunner, genius, future Nobel Prize winner — made every granny at the table clutch their hearts too many times to count — and they're not even halfway through lunch.

Despite Nibbles' warnings, the kittens were formally introduced to the residents today. They seem just as happy to bask in the attention as Chenle is. Scion is sitting in a man's lap, blithely distracting him from his meal.

"You've known these little scamps since they were born, haven't you?" he says to Chenle.

"I was there while they were born."

"Quite a sight, that."

"No kidding."

"How did you come up with the names?"

"Yoon was the name of my old cat growing up, so it's kind of a tribute to her. Jiji is from a movie Jisung likes, also Ji, Jisung, you know."

"And Scion?" He squishes her blissed-out face in his palms.

"Uh." Nibbles had named Scion, because 'that's what she is!' "Just... sounded cool."

That's when Chenle notices Nibbles across the room, peeking out from under a tablecloth. Jisung is in the chair next to him, trying to cut a waffle with a fork and a spoon; Chenle pokes his leg. (His hand had already been there. Just for support. Large crowds are definitely not Jisung's scene.)

Chenle clears his throat and says, "Funny story actually. Before we left to come out here, the kittens' mother kept hanging around the car. Jumped into the backseat and wouldn't come out. We kind of had to bring her along, so if you see a black cat skulking around, it's not an omen, it's just Nibbles."

"How sweet!" Grandma Park coos. "She must love her babies if she followed them all this way. Hopefully she's been getting enough to eat."

Jisung laughs nervously.

Grandma Park squints at him, then turns to Chenle and says, "Chenle, you have to tell us how your job is going."

Chenle arranges himself into a smile and a shrug. He knew it was coming. He was trying not to dread it. "Yeah, I mean, I work reception at my mother's firm. It's tough. A lot of phone calls, a lot of talking. A lot of telling people that their dogs can't come into the office. Dog people do not like that."

"No no no, dear, I meant law. How are you finding it?"

"I'm not a lawyer yet, Grandma. It's all theoretical right now. And a sh— crap-load of studying, which is super fun."

"I always knew Chenle would go places." She's talking to her friends now. "He was always headstrong. If I didn't let him have a cookie, he'd haggle for it, explain exactly why I should give him the cookie. Jisung, he was a good boy, he'd move right on, ask for the next thing out of his reach, but Chenle, no, he had initiative. He's been a little adult since he was in diapers."

Grandma's friends are laughing, damn near swooning. Chenle doesn't get it. It's like everyone remembers him as someone he isn't. The more they talk about him the more he wonders if this version of himself was ever real at all.

Jisung looks weird too. Sulky, or... hurt, pushing his food around his plate.

Chenle is talking before he can stop himself.

"It's boring though, right? I know just how my life is going to go, from now to the end goal. The structure is all there, I can only fill in the gaps. Like, colouring within the lines, that's not really drawing. But Jisung?" Chenle swallows. "He can do anything. And yeah, it's stressful, but it's also so much more interesting. Right?"

There's a lull. They don't get it. But Jisung is smiling at him, softly, like Chenle said something nice. Chenle smiles back.

"My granddaughter might have a few too many interesting options on her plate," another lady says. "I told her, Mrs. Park's grandson is a lawyer, why can't she do that too?"

"Our Chenle is special," Grandma Park says. "He's got it. That's just who he is."

Chenle feels a little hyper — not just because of the chocolate-covered waffles. He excuses himself and walks too-fast to the buffet, loads whatever onto his plate. He's not even hungry.

"Strange, isn't it?"

Chenle looks up at Nanny Park next to him, spooning melon onto her plate. Her old hands are slow and steady, totally sure. Her eyes are a bit blurry.

"What is?"

"Folks making a big deal out of what you do. It's not special, lots of people do it, you're not the first, won't be the last. It's just what you do. Everyone does something. Don't we?"

"Yeah, pretty much."

"Might not even be the thing you're meant to do."

Chenle looks up at her, but she isn't looking back. She's staring off at nothing, munching on a melon, dentures making a funny clicking sound. She didn't say it like an accusation, more like a truth, unexciting, harmless.

Chenle's shoulders loosen a bit. "Yeah. I mean. Lawyer. Who cares."

"Who cares." She's still staring into space.

"You okay, Nanny?"

"Just thinking about the past. Nothing to worry about." She pulls a little yellow tin from the pocket of her flannel shirt. Smiles, suddenly wry. "Got my vitamins."

Chenle smiles. People think Nanny Park is a flake. A pothead, which she is. But there's something about her that Chenle admires. And envies. She's more perceptive than people give her credit for.

She's free.

Maybe in sixty years, Chenle can be like her too.