The President's Daughter

13

13
I wake up in the middle of the night, just slightly, just enough to see Casey get up with a backpack and walk away. But I just fall back asleep.

I wake up with a start. I don't know where I am. I look around and everything comes back. My breathing slows. I look over the fire pit and see Casey, sharpening a stick with his knife. I look at him with groggy eyes. I can taste morning breath on my tongue. The taste is sticky and gross and I feel like I need to brush my teeth. But I ignore it and stare at Casey. "I thought you left." I say. He doesn't look at me. "I did." he says plainly.
"why did you come back." he looks at me for a split second then goes back to his stick. "couldn't just leave you here." I stand up and walk in front of him. "you've been trying to get rid of me since day one. Why all of a sudden the change in heart?" I ask kind of getting frustrated with this guy. He sighs. "what does it matter?" he asks like he is frustrated with me. "It matters because I dot know if I should hate you or try to be friends with you or...." I don't know who to end the sentence, so I just leave it open so he can talk. "I don't care if you hate or like me."
"well... Then why did you come back?"
He stands up. "your making me want to leave again." he starts to walk away. I don't think about following after. I just do it.
"wait. I'm not done with you." I say. He continues to walk. "Casey!" he looks at me. We stand a good distance apart.
"I need to know. Why did you come back?" I say sternly.
"I came back because I... I know how you feel. Losing your family and all. I know what it's like to feel completely and utterly alone. I feel it everyday. And I didn't want you to feel that."
I'm shocked by his answer. I thought he liked seeing me in pain. I know he likes seeing me in pain. "why? You hate me." I say my voice breaking.
"I don't hate you." he says.
"well then what do you think about me?!" I shout. I was taught to care about what people think. I have to please the people. That's what being a president does.
I stand there, Looking at him. Watching him as he marches toward me. I don't know why, but I feel nervous as he comes toward me. "Cas--" Casey grabs my head with both hands and presses his lips to mine. His lips are a little chapped from the cold, but still somehow soft. They are cold yet they send a heat wave through my whole body. My hands, that were once at my side, are now pressed against his hands, keeping them on my face, making the kiss last longer.
I've never kissed anyone before. I never knew anyone to begin with.
We break apart but our faces stay close together.
"I'm... Really confused." I say. He gives a small smile.
"I.. Don't want to be alone anymore. Do you?" he asks. I think I see a tear on his cheek. I hesitate, but finally take my thumb and wipe it away.
"no. I'm tired of being alone too."
"good." we pull apart. I look at him . "what's wrong?" he asks me.
"I want to do a thumb war contest. " I say. He laughs then grabs my hand and pulls me back to the camp. We sit on the same log and he shows me how to play. The whole time, all he did was smile.like he was a kid again. I smiled too because I finally got to be a kid, not the presidents daughter.

"we should get moving today." says Casey as he packs away the blanket. I nod my head in agreement. I want to see Jayla. It's been weeks since I have seen her. "what direction should we go in?" I ask, looking around the forest. "Ohio is north so we want to go south. The camp is on the opposite side." he says.
"which way is south?" I ask. Casey pulls out a compass. I look down on it. The glass is broken and the compass doesn't seem to be in the best condition. He stares at it for a few seconds before he points to a direction. "we head that way. We should run into some scouts along the way." he says. He reaches for my hand and for a second I flinch. I'm jot used to people touching me so often. I don't know if I really trust anyone. But when I look into Casey's eyes I see something that makes me want to trust him. So I do. I slip my hand in his and we start to walk.
"can you tell me about your mom?" I ask after an hour of silence. We both aren't used to talking to each other so often. It'll take some getting used to.
He looks at me. "what do you want to know?" he asks.
I shrug my shoulders. "anything I guess. If you could pick one word to describe her what would it be? What was she like? Did she cook? Did she teach? Did she take care of you?" I say firing questions at him. He just gives a slight smile. "she was... Special," he says. "she never yelled, she was very soft spoken. She couldn't cook to save her life. She actually gave all of us food poisoning once. Took a month to get over it." he laughs to himself but I don't laugh. When ever someone says food poisoning in my house, it means a deadly drug that someone would try to slip into our food or drink. It's a serious matter. But he just laughs like it's the funniest thing in the world. And maybe it is. I don't really have a good sense of humor. "she actually was a teacher. She taught fourth grade math. She was very smart." he pauses on the last question. "she did more than take care of me. She made me who I am today." he says. I give him a look. "I mean that she had a big influence on me when I was younger. I might have changed a little since then." I just roll my eyes. We don't talk much for about another hour. Instead, I picture Caseys mom. I picture her in the kitchen , with a stove on fire. Then at a table, leaning over Caseys showing him how to multiply. Or even on the couch, with mr. Collins arm wrapped around her, and Casey on her lap. I like that thought. It seems so perfect. But I know appearance is just dissipation in reality.
"we're getting close." Casey says to me. I just nod my head and smile.
"so... That kiss?" I say slyly. Casey just smiles.
"yeah..." he says almost like he's embarrassed.
"why?" I say. I don't know what I mean by it. I'm not sure if I mean 'why me?' or 'why you?'
"why what?" he asks me.
"it's just that..." I think for a little bit . Racking though all the thoughts in my head.
"did you not like the kiss?" he asks me with a little edge to his voice.
"oh no! It's not that. It's just... You never liked me. Even remotely, before. And then... You said you don't want to be lonely but I just don't see why..." I say. He gives me a shy smile.
"your right. I did hate you before. I thought you were a stuck up rich girl who didn't care about anyone or anything except herself. I didn't think you cared whether your parents lived or died. but last night.." he continues to talk and I continue to hang on every word. "the way you talked about your family... I realized I might have been wrong about you. So... I left. I didn't like the feeling I got in my stomach. I didn't know if I would come back or not. So I just closed my eyes and Walked. When I opened my eyes, I was back at the camp. I knew that I liked you, Braydon." it was the first time Casey had said my name with out spitting it out at me or infused it with venom. I liked the way it just rolled off his tongue, naturally and pure.
"That still doesn't explain why you picked me." he looks confused.
"I'm glad that you don't hate me anymore but why did you pick me? To kiss me?"
He gives a slight laugh.
"what do you mean?"
"you know what I mean Casey. You know me better than anyone else in the ditch. You know that I'm a monster. I've killed so many people. I've caused so much destruction." I say.
"I have too. It doesn't matter. All that can be behind us now, if you want. We can both move on like none of that ever happened."
I give a slight nod.

"we should be there any minute now." says Casey as he walks back to me. He left a few minutes ago to scout the area, like he's been doing every so often. "how do you know?" I ask. He grabs my hand again and uses both our fingers to point in the direction he just came from. "I saw the land marker we put out for the new safe house." he then guides our Hand to the direction we are heading in. "right behind that hill is. The safe house." he whispers in my ear.
"Jayla." I whisper to myself, but Casey hears me. "that's right. Come on. I'll race ya." and he takes off running.
"that's cheating!" I shout at him though a laugh. He is faster runner than I. The fact that he got a head start isn't helping either. He stops at the top of the hill and looks over in into the valley. I'm almost at the top of the hill. "Casey! Do you see it?!" I call to him. I make it to the top of the hill and am about to look over when he steps infront of me. He grabs my arms and looks at me with panic on his face. "we need to leave." he says. "what? No. Jayla's down there. I have to see her." I say. He tries to push me back but I push back harder. "Casey, let go of me." I say to him. I slip past him and look over the hill before he can pull me back. He stands behind me and I see what he doesn't want me to see.
Peices of metal lay all over the train tracks. Body's lay in a pile off the side, limps hanging out from what's left of the train. Smoke rises and people scream, cry and give orders. My face falls. And I'm running down the hill. "Jayla!" I scream at the top of my lunges. I scream her name while Casey screams mine. He runs after me. But for the first time, I am faster than he is as I run to the train. Mr. Collins sees me and grabs me by the arms. "You can't come any closer Braydon." he tells me. I fight against his grip. "where is she?! Where's Jayla!?" I scream even louder.
"we've got another one!" a women shouts as she pulls a dead body from the train. Blood is everywhere, but I would know Jaylas bleach blonde hair anywhere. even when its crimson red. My hearts stops beating. Everything goes mute. I can't hear anyone. All I can see is Jaylas mangled body being pulled from the wreckage. Casey jumps in front of me. I scream and cry and fight my way free. I run to her. I hold my arms open to the woman on top of the train. She lowers the body down to me and I fall to the floor, her lifeless body in my hands. I look up at Casey as he stands in front of me, tears in his eyes as well. "you said..." I whisper to him.
"you said she would be safe." I say a little louder.
He shakes his head. "Braydon, please..." he says.
"you put her on that train!" I scream.
"Braydon. I didn't know... I'm so sorry..." I look down at her. Her clothes have holes in them, with parts that were burnt off. Parts of her skin has even melted off. It's a horrible sight. But I cant stop looking at her. "my little sister..." I whisper to my self as I put my forehead to hers. her head lays lifeless in my lap and I cry to myself. I cry and scream and Casey just stands and watches. Tears spill over his face but he doesn't come over. I don't think he can.
After about one hour, Mr. Collins comes over to us. He rests a hand on his sons shoulder and looks at me. "we are going to burry the bodies in a few minutes. It's time to let go of her. She's gone, Braydon." he whispers. But the whole time he is talking I don't really listen. Finally my voice comes back and I say, "no. You can't take her from me. She's all I have." Casey exchanges a look with his father. "give Braydon a few more minutes, dad." he says.
He gives a slight nod and walks away. Casey comes over and sits down next to me. He doesn't touch me. I don't want him to. I look at him. I don't see a killer. I see a Normal teenage boy. A lonely boy. A lonely boy who sits next to a lonely girl. "I'm so sorry Braydon," Casey whispers after a while of silence. "it's time." I don't fight when Casey picks up Jaylas body. I slowly get to my feet and walk beside him. We walk around the train where I see at least a hundred holes dug for the bodies. There was a group of people. Some survivors of the crash, others that came to help and others there to burry their loved one just as I am. "let's lay the lost to peace." says Mr. Collins. Everyone picks up a body, walks it over to a hole and they then down. I take Jayla from Casey arms. I stand over the hole in the ground and more tears start to make an appearance. I can't let her go. She was all I had left. She was so young. Why me? Why am I still alive? Why are all the innocent dying? Why am I still alive.
I get down on my knees and place her gently in to the grave that was dug. I lay her down like my mom did when Jayla would fall a sleep on her lap. Softly, so not to wake her. But I know that she will never wake again.
I step back and stare at my little sister in a hole. In a grave. Her grave. Six year olds shouldn't need graves. I turn to Casey. His eyes are blood shot but he doesn't look weak or tired. I wonder how I must look. I am weak and I am tired. He comes over to me and put his arms around me neck. He pulls me into him and I cry on his shoulder. Bit I don't feel better. I don't feel safe. All I feel is pain. But as I breathe in his scent of pine and rain, I feel relaxed. It feels good to finally have someone help me bare this burden that has been dropped on my shoulder like a ton of bricks.
"why?" I whisper into his ear.
"I don't know." he whispers back.
"but I wish I did