FINGERS CROSSED, yuzuha usagi

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

It happened to be more than a fact to Aguni that Yasuko was the type of lightweight alcoholic when talking about how many drinks she could swallow before being asked to walk in a straight line, or in their precise case, how many drinks it would take her to make him a full meal on why life was just a bitch. Influenced by the venom she had been indulging herself year after year, and day after day, Yasuko went from point A to point E, from smashing a bottle onto a wall to crouching down and hugging her legs until she forgot he was there with her, hearing every sob and plead for forgiveness, for another minute to recover herself.

Aguni hesitated at first, but at the end, he let his hand find her back, patting her slightly as her body shook over her crying getting as close to a hyperventilation than to complete calmness. Like turning on a light switch, Yasuko crumbled over her own tears and fragments of glass, alongside the only familiar person she was in a room with at that moment. Perhaps the only familiar person she hadn't really thought would trail behind her and wait for her to kick the bar's doors open and start an intense examination for the strongest drink on the display.

His affection had been so soft, so short, Yasuko assumed it could've never had happened and she would've still believed it did, 'cause glancing back at him, Aguni lowered his eyes as if he was apologizing, as if the mere act of touching her had been a mistake that would not be committed again. She wondered when they had become like that, when their eyes meeting was a synonym of guilt and sorrow, and when they started to look away from each other every time they were breathing in the same space.

Yasuko didn't like how it made her feel.

"I'm sorry I didn't took care of him." She mumbled, flopping onto her butt and spreading her legs to the sides, joining her foot's soles. Her words were slurred and slow, the same way a drunk would've spoken them, tasting the sound waves all over her palate in an effort to pronounce them as coherently as she could, but her mind was by far dizzy and her heart sedated in everything worth saying she knew her sober self would bite her tongue until it was cut in half before actually doing it out loud. "I'm sorry you cloud... couldn't say goodbye," out of herself, she almost laughed at her own stuttering trying to get the word ‘couldn't’ right, but soon enough her tone was full of sadness again, "I'm just sorry, I guess."

"Don't." Aguni said. Yasuko furrowed her brows at him, quickly holding up a finger and moving it from left to right, "What?"

"Ikehara said you should go say goodbye."

Seven words. It took seven words for Aguni to completely feel his heart jump out of his chest once more, gnashing its way out of his flesh with only claws and sharp teeth; it left him cold, feeling old, and wanting all the rest of the world to end and let him believe it could begin again the next morning, where everything he had been living for had a purpose and everyone he had cared about would be ringing his phone to answer back their calls. Yet still, seven words made the difference, showing him the truth he had been avoiding to even think of as he had placed one foot in front of the other all the way down to the bar.

Yasuko's eyes never drifted apart from his, absorbing every emotion that flashed inside of them until sorry became an useless word to dare even say it. He didn't yell, but she felt suddenly smaller; she didn't let him look away, but he felt suddenly awoke under her scrutinizing gaze and how similar the color of her iris was to Ikehara's, how the corners of their eyes blushed red after crying and their lashed got damped with things he couldn't read just by facing them as they were able to.

In a blink, Aguni became too conscious about how special Ikehara had been for her as it had been for him. All that time, it was as if the two of them had been joined by the hip and he hadn't truly noticed until then; where one of them went, the other did too, and what one of them said, the other treated it as a believer would with a certain passage in the Bible; they had looked at each other as two sunflowers who each confused the other for the sun, and not even in the state she was, Yasuko was capable of not talk or think about him, 'cause all that time he had been the only one right by her side.

His silence worried her.

"Are you angry?" Yasuko asked in a whisper, almost afraid of his answer.

"I've always been angry, but not with you two." He finally said, hoping his voice wouldn't shake so her eyes wouldn't see it happen, "Never with you two."

Yasuko thought it had been her chest what had implosioned, but when Aguni turned his head slightly to the doors, she realized the sound and vibrations had come from outside and not from inside her body. The room lit up in a flash of golden before being eaten by the dark, the light had illuminated their profiles and had made the shattered bottles on the floor shine as if the stars had fallen all over the place, drawing Yasuko's attention almost completely, until a flame of green and pink traveled the sky short after.

"Woah!" Yasuko stood up abruptly, ignoring the pumping headache that took over her entire forehead and had her wincing in pain, just to make her way outta the bar, "Look at the stars!" She pointed upwards.

"Those are fireworks," Aguni allowed a smile to be shown on his lips, then he nodded towards the distance, where a blimp fell apart, "They did it."

CONGRATULATIONS. . .
ALL OF THE GAMES HAVE NOW BEEN CLEARED. . .

Aguni laid down on top of a piece of metal. Yasuko glanced at him, as if deciding what to do, and flopped next to him without a word. They both found themselves eying at the sky.

ALL SURVIVING PLAYERS WILL BE PRESENTED WITH TWO CHOICES. . .

PLAYERS MUST NOW ALL DECIDE WHETHER TO ACCEPT PERMANENT RESIDENCY IN THIS COUNTRY, OR DECLINE IT. . .

"I decline it." Aguni murmured.

He hadn't noticed it immediately, but he did lastly. Turning his head towards his left, he saw her staring blankly at the fireworks lighting up the sky, their reflection being the only sparks that filled her eyes of something else than a vacant feeling. She hadn't said anything, and he was about to, but a grunt coming from the other direction caught his attention.

Painfully slow, he tried to sit up to help Heiya get closer to them, letting his arm go over her shoulder in a protective manner. He had only looked away for a second and Yasuko had taken the opportunity without hesitation. She was gone, walking off their side.

"Yasuko?" He called her, but she didn't turn. Something inside him squeezed, or perhaps it had simply been Heiya's arms wrapping harder around him; whatever it was, he couldn't help feeling the claws of panic grab him by the middle of the throat at the sight of Yasuko limping drunkenly towards the alley she had left her other half asleep at, "Yasuko!" He screamed, only then watching her halt as a response.

"Worrying causes you wrinkles," Yasuko bit her lips, releasing a quiet huff before looking back, "Let's meet again another time!" She smiled at him as warmly as she had ever done, reminding him of the first time she had said those exact words to him.

As Yasuko stepped closer to Ikehara's body, she understood death was really nothing at all. It didn't count. It was as if Ikehara had only slipped away into the next room while nothing else had happened. Everything remained exactly as it was. Yasuko was Yasuko, and the old life that they lived so fondly together was untouched, unchanged. Whatever they were to each other, it was still the same. She called him by his name, putting no difference into her tone, letting it become the household word that it always was. The only difference had been the lack of response, but right there, as she laid down next to him, life stood the same as it ever had been and there was nothing to do about the way it worked, the way it left Yasuko waiting, for an interval, for Ikehara squeezing back her hand, for the little rabbit that she had promised she would not follow that time.

So she did exactly that: wait. Yasuko waited patiently under the show of colors exploding over her head until the choices were voiced one last time and she acknowledged Usagi wasn't coming back, like the fireworks dying in the dark night and the hope of feeling Ikehara's breathing shake her faintly from where she had her head resting on him with her eyes closed.

Unable to bear it another second, she finally whispered her decision against his shoulder.

"I decline it."