Love and Pixie Dust- A Bay Yanlış Reimagining.

When There Was No Bigfoot Sighting

"He's ghosting me," I sniffled miserably. My friends had come over to commiserate over my conflicted feelings. We sat in Bigfoot's living room, the place he had been conspicuously absent from in the last few days.

"How can he? You live together!" Cansu asked me, baffled.

"Oh, he's very creative. He's out of the apartment before I wake up and doesn't get home until I'm in bed. He's also taking advantage of my pregnancy-induced narcolepsy since all I want to do is eat and sleep now. "

"Be honest, Ezgi. How hard are you trying to talk to him? I know you'd stick your head in the sand to avoid a confrontation."

"Ezgi loves nothing more than a confrontation," Cansu laughed.

"Not the emotional kind. Only the kind where she can throw hands," Deniz argued.

"I don't know what you mean," I said innocently. I furtively sniffed his t-shirt shirt which I was currently wearing. One which I did not appropriate from his dirty laundry. Because that would be crazy.

Deniz pursed her lips and she gave me the lawyer stare. The one that gave the opposing counsel pit stains in court. 

"I wouldn't know what to say," I confessed, wilting under the stare.

"Tell him how you feel. Duh!"

"But that's just it. The more I examine my feelings the more I question them
Why didn't I say it if I'm genuinely in love with him? I thought I loved the Dirtbag but it was all in my head. And what about him? What if what he thinks is love is just getting the girl that won't fall and worship at his feet?"

"Honey, you did fall at his feet. He had you naked within hours of meeting him," Cansu pointed out.

"It was very slutty of me," I admitted.

"No one is blaming you," Cansu said. "I've seen him shirtless. You'd have to have titanium steel ovaries to resist all of that."

I threw a pillow at her.

"I...mean, the sex is excellent. Fantastic, extraordinary, incredible. All the superlatives. But what if that's just it? What if what I think is love, is just lust? What if I'm just dick drunk?"

"You know I was doubtful about him at first but even I noticed the difference in you and it's not just the belly. You finish each other's sentences for fucks sake. And I never got to tell you this but the night you left he planned this extravagant date. He closed the restaurant and the patio area was turned into this sort of flower garden," Deniz said and refilled her wine glass.

I stared at her. "What?" I whispered.

"Ozan said he'd never seen him so distraught as when you didn't show up. I'm not telling you this to make you feel worse. But I think he's been gone for you from the word go. Maybe he just didn't know it. Men can be extremely oblivious. But Anyone with eyes can see you belong together."

That was the most romantic thing I'd ever heard my unromantic pragmatic friend say. She was right. We did have a weird connection. I'd felt it from the moment we met. But did that mean happily ever after?

"Well, whatever it is. It's clear that you're miserable without him," Cansu said.

I was. Completely miserable and lonely. I missed him so much it hurt.

"I want to eat my feelings," I said morosely.

"You got ice cream?" Cansu said moving into the kitchen.

"Yes, the good stuff is behind all of Özgür's healthy crap."

"Ezgi? What's all this?" She called out a few seconds later.