Open wounds

Chapter 1- The new student

Dazai Osamu lay motionless on his bed. To his dismay, today was the day he started his new school. To many, it may seem like a new beginning in one's life, or perhaps a fresh start, or maybe even an opportunity for something new. But to this 15-year-old boy, it was nothing but an endless cycle of boredom and hell. Why should he have to attend school, study hard, get good grades, be hardworking, involved...if he's not even planning to make it to senior year? What use is it to study for a future you know you will never have? Study groups, extracurriculars, service, homework, exams...screw all that. Screw all of it. 

...Yet here he is. Still making an effort, getting straight As, keeping a good reputation...all for the approval of his parents. His back was already littered with bruises and scars. He didn't need any more to add to the collection. 

Begrudgingly, Dazai rolled out of bed and headed to the bathroom so he could freshen up. His shattered mirror that long ago displayed his reflection now had nothing but a bare metal backing attached to the tiled wall. Remnants of shattered glass still littered the bathroom floor, occasionally giving Dazai cuts on his feet. It's not like he cared, anyways. What's a few extra scars done to somebody? 

Removing his bandages, Dazai winced as he ran his finger along all his scars. Some were freshly cut, some were reopened, unable to heal, and some were starting to fade. He remembered his parents' harsh words from the night before. To "not let anybody find out what's underneath the bandages." Partly to hide the fact that he did harm to himself, but also partly to hide what they had done to him. It used to hurt, but now it just leaves him feeling numb and empty. The sharp, stinging feeling that came with penetrating skin with a blade didn't thrill him as much as it used to. Dazai longed to feel something in his life. Now that this feeling was fading, how much longer could he continue to grapple onto his deteriorating humanity? 

Dazai grabbed a fresh roll of bandages and applied them to his arms, torso, neck, and face. Sometimes it made him feel like a real-life walking, talking, breathing mummy. Except mummies were dead, and he wasn't, so he couldn't exactly compare yet.

The young boy walked back to his room to finish getting ready. He grabbed his plain uniform, simple white shirt and black slacks, and changed into them. The shirt was kind of see-through, so he put on a blue sweater as well. It would be unfortunate if he was exposed on day one. His father, Mori Ougai, would certainly not be happy with that. 

Dazai stood proudly in the middle of his room, trying to convince himself that everything was going to be fine. However, this feeling was immediately shut down. He wasn't exactly made to be an optimist, after all. Transferring in the middle of the school year is a great way to either gain sudden popularity or make yourself a vulnerable target. Good for Dazai, though, as he was the master at manipulation and the art of making yourself likeable. When you're constantly transferring schools, you kind of have to learn how to fit in new environments. 

Suddenly, an alert went off on his phone, reminding him it was now 7AM, which meant he had to leave for school. Dazai quickly rushed to pick up all his belongings he would need for the day and left through his window. He hadn't eaten breakfast, but he didn't want to risk waking up either of his parents by exiting through the front door. Heavens knows what punishment would be awaiting him if his father was woken up before 8.30AM. Breakfast could wait for another day. It's not like it was a necessary supplement or anything. 

As Dazai neared the school, he could feel the anxiety welling up inside him. He had never been good with large crowds of people, which is why he had always been to fairly rural schools before. But apparently, he needed "a change." So, his father insisted he come to an average high school instead. Dazai hadn't even entered the school yet, but he could tell it was going to suck.