The Other Side

Darkness

"Before you go.... Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?" I heard him sing the last part of his song. "If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather..." Do YOU have a storm to weather? I was wondering... "So... before you go... was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?" I could feel tears making their way out of my eyes. "It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless..." And I lost it. This felt like it was written for me and only me, it's like he's known me for my whole life and exactly knew what is going on in my head.

"So... before you go..." He sang the last verse and looked around him.

"I'll be waiting." He said simply, completely not bothered by the meaning of his words and I froze.

"Fuck." I said aloud and Patty looked at me. I felt like I could vomit any time soon and looked at my friend and analyzed her face.

"What's wrong? You look like a shit." She laughed but stopped because she saw I didn't return her smile.

"I think I fucked up..." I said, "but just a little."

"What the fuck did you do?" She asked me in shock and I could see she was worried as her wrinkles were more visible.

"I... uhm..." I stuttered. "Lewis Capaldi might want to see me." I blurted out and looked somewhere else but into her eyes. I thought this wasn't happening and I just imagined things that weren't real.

"He asked YOU to come to THAT place?" Patty almost shouted at me and that forced me to look at her with apologetic expression in my eyes.

"I... I don't-"

"That's why you were so long in the toilettes?!" She shouted again. "Are you kidding me? Get your fucking ass at that place!" She continued and I realized the meaning of her words after few moments. I looked at her a little bit confused.

"What?" I was puzzled and didn't quite see what she was saying. She slammed her right hand on her forehead and laughed.

"Paulie, please, go to the fucking place! He's waiting there for you for fucks sake!" She punched me on my shoulder which almost made me lose my balance.

"Ouch!" I said as I stood up. It was only that moment I realized I was shaking. My hands were cold as ice and they were trembling. I suddenly felt nauseous. What is going to happen? What is the meaning of this? What if he hurts me? What if I go missing?

"Paulie, stop it! I know you have a mess right now in your head but it's gonna be okay, trust me. He's a cool guy. You will just go there, have a chat with him and come back to me, okay?" Patty said and I looked at her. I slightly nodded before turning away from her.

"Don't fuck it up, honey!" She laughed. "I'll be waiting in the car, take care." I once again turned to her and smiled. I've always wondered how lucky I am to have her, to have a person that truly understands me and the mess in my head.

I started walking towards the so called toilettes for me. I felt a mix of excitement and nervousness at the same time. I tried to focus on things around me and finally, I found the sign with the arrow. I put my hand on the door handle and opened them and was greeted with so well-known darkness in the room but somewhere far away from me, I could see a light coming from maybe a mobile phone?

I dropped the door and only heard a noise when it shut closed. Now I was surrounded by the darkness and a flashing light somewhere far away. I took a deep breath and tried to say something. I closed my eyes and forced them to adapt to the level of darkness. When I opened them I could see the light getting closer to me and I got scared.

As he was approaching me, I could see the face I saw few minutes ago in the concert hall. I searched for anything in his face, any expression reassuring me that I did the right thing coming here, I realized I wasn't breathing properly and I could feel the heat in my cheeks.

"You came... oh fuck..." he whispered, "I thought you wouldn't come..." he came even closer to me and thanks to the light from his mobile phone, I could see his face even though it was covered with shadows.

I stared at him and then I came to reality after few moments of being silent which must have driven him crazy because I could sense his nervousness.

"Yeah..." it was all I was able to say. I was looking at him and it felt like we have known each other for the whole life but at the same time like it was the first time.

I laughed.

"So... the concert was average..." I said sarcastically but he started to laugh, almost crying. When he stopped, he looked at me.

"I know... There was also one song from the album I'm trying to put together but I seem out of inspiration. My head... it's been a mess..." he said slowly and again, I could see how nervous he was but when he looked at me, his eyes were soft, warming up my heart.

"It was perfect... the song... I love it," I whispered, "it describes...," I took a deep breath, "me." I said and I could sense my anxiety rising up in my chest, going up into my head. He looked at me the way noone ever has before, it was calming me down.

There was silence between us but it was the comfortable one until he broke it.

"So... can I have your number? So I can call you and sing you the song," he laughed and I joined him.

"Sure..." I gave him my number and he called me so I had his number. I realized that I left my phone with Patty and with all my stuff.

"I should go... my friend is waiting for me," I told him but didn't want to leave.

"Thank you for today... you helped me get through my shit," he said and I could feel his hand almost touching my arm but he pulled away.

We started to walk to the door with the right handle but he stopped. I almost crashed into him because of the sudden change of his movements.

"One last thing..." he said as he ran his hand through his hair. My eyes widened in expectation of what's coming next. "What is your name?"

I laughed. I realized that I never told him my name even though I now know his.

"I'm Pauline... my friends call me Paulie," I said my name and laughed once again.

"Are we friends enough to call you Paulie?" he asked jokingly and smiled.

"I must think about it," I answered his question and we both laughed. When we stopped, I felt like everything is all right and for the first time in my life, I felt some kind of happiness.

I looked at him and he opened the door for me. As soon as I was out of the room, we didn't say a word and we both went straight to different places, me to my friend's car and him, to his band. We shared our last glance and he disappeared in the crowd of security men.