Like Crazy (Ateez WooSan)

I'm gonna lose my mind

"Baby, come and follow me" he said and pulled me by the waist to a dark room with some dimmed red lights.

"There's not a bad thing here tonight" he assured, pushing me down on to something soft. Hovering over me with a little but clear smirk.

I was terrified, we surely did it a few times before but we just had a huge fight and i had endless reasons to just end what we had.

✧

He sighed as he saw my telling gaze.

"Save your reasons all for later" spoke Wooyoung with fierce, looking up seductive.

So i did as i saw his somehow sad looking face.
You can't deny the wanted things from your loved ones, right?

The person over me started kissing my neck, lips, nose, jaw, slowly driving me insane as his hands moved under my Black Tee, pulling it over my red turning head.

We kissed passionately, telling all our feelings, even if we weren't on good terms at all.
We didn't care about it at that moment, we never did.
We didn't care about the problems the world had brought us.
It was just us, me and him in our loving World.

I didn't wanna hesitate no more and gave all of mine to him, letting him discover the different parts of my body, moaning his name trough this process.

It felt like heaven...

....

I was simply shocked by myself, did i really just do it with him and also taking the lead when i knew, i wanted to break paths with him as our relationship wasn't going anywhere we wanted it too?

I guess so.

Do i regret it?
Absolutely, it was the biggest mistake after he had done.

But somehow i couldn't hate him for it, i knew he couldn't really tell me how he was feeling as he wasn't in a good mental state.

Suddenly he swayed his body up from our comfortable bed, i held his hand, stopping him from, what seemed like, leaving.

"Stay with me a little while" i could hear myself saying in a broken voice.

"Why should i?" He replied curious with a killing glance. 

That hurt.

A stern look was still on his face when i gazed up at him. He probably could tell my heart was burning but he didn't care.

His loving self which i saw not too long ago, vanished within seconds, leaving his toxic side to shine.
This side of him ruined everything between us.

My heart clenched at the thought, eyes getting watery as he started to yell insults, how stupid and naive i am, at my head again. It was like every other day, first he was loving and happy during sex and after it he turned into the asshole i knew.

He slowly calmed down, making me looking in to his face which me once admired, it all changed after we got together.
In a really bad way which lead me to slowly but surely hate or simply not like him, as hate is to big of a word.

As Wooyoung saw my red tearing eyes his glance somehow softened or at least i thought so, then not even a moment later his blocking barricade was back, cheek hurting not even a second later.

That was the last action which sent me over the edge.

I looked him dead in the eyes, my right hand holding my burning cheek in disbelief. I took a really deep breath, my decision was made.

"I can't do this anymore" i whispered, heart breaking down to the bottom of itself. "I'm done with you Jung Wooyoung!" My voice was filled with so many emotions, but I didn't care, i just let everything out.

If not now, then when?
I'm not planning to see him ever again, so maybe I'll never have the chance again.

So i spoke it out loud, "Don't you dare to take even a single step into my life!"

I picked my clothes up from the floor and shakingly walked to the door as i dressed my body with those dirty clothes.

"You can't just leave me, San!" Wooyoung frowned unbelieving. A desperate expression showing on his tired face.

I raised my thin-ish brows, watched him up and down. Trying to remember ever so little detail of his bare upper body, his smooth hair, his model-like hands, his beautiful face, his kissable lips, his world holding eyes which were broken.
His hilarious laugh even though he wasn't smiling or anything.

I just liked to remember everything good like his normally good, sweet and loving personality which only showed on our anniversary or at parties when he was drunk, but it didn't matter.

Back then, i thought the boy was innocent and knew nothing over life, hell was i wrong. It's somehow sad that his eyes who held every inch of me in them could nring such burning and hurting with them.

You know the saying, Eyes are the key to our Soul?
I can see what they meant.

We surely were soulmates, nothing spoke against it, but our bond was lost or more like shaddered into thousands of pieces.

Our time together shouldn't have lasted so long in this life, we would've probably been happier in the next one, atleast i was hoping so.

Water filled my eyes for the second time today as we locked our gazes, making it one.

"Watch me go" i hesitantly grabbed the doorknob.

So this is how it ends huh?

Something once so beautiful and admired was left on the ground, because we were too stupid to understand what our hearts desired.

After i left the familiar house, i once called ours, i sank down, all alone on the main door.

Luckily it was night time, making everything looking like magic but also dangerous.

A dark haze clouded up my eyes.

I had an empty heart without him, my world's lonely.

I couldn't breathe.

I couldn't stand it.

....

I closed my eyes, falling straight into old memories, our first words which we spoke after we full ended our love act.

It was in the middle of the night as he held me tight, head on my bare chest, hand running through his smooth, soft, smelling like flowers, hair.

"We could last forever" he told me back then with an assuring, genuine smile.

As i was my skeptical and scared self, i just replied with "I'm afraid that everything will disappear"

He hugged me tighter, making me feel more warm. More save.

"Just trust me"
Was his answer and i did.

I smiled at the sweetness of him, kissing the top of his head.
This was the last genuine smile, i could remember.

And then, everything went black.