Like Crazy (Ateez WooSan)

I need a way we could dream on

The next day San immediately realised, that Wooyoung wasn't there anymore.

Just like he thought last night, their time together isn't long and never would be.

His heart dropped.

...

I found myself alone again, still naked on my passenger seat and all i could find that was left, was our sperm on the leather of my car.

And my shaddered heart.

The cum on my seat was the only thing which reminded me that i hadn't just imagined it.

I pulled my pants back up as i noticed an approaching headache from the alcohol yesterday. I took a deep breath and looked at myself through the various mirrors in the car.

All my reflections, I can't even recognise.

I felt so alive, but i'm just wasting time.

My thoughts assured myself when i suddenly found a little note in my pocket.

Last night was just like our first time. Perfect.
-J. WY.

I could read, even without his initials i could tell it was from him, like who the hell still wrote in cursive. I mean he does, but he isn't normal.

I searched for my shirt as I wanted to dress up, but i couldn't find it anywhere, did he take it with him?
I shrugged, it wasn't really something special to me, so he could have it.

My thoughts got back to yesterday night.

At least he remembered it and wasn't too drunk, which led me to his spoken words which honestly confused me

"I love you"

Did he mean it or did he just joke around..?
I don't think he did as he never said those three, for me, important words, but chances are never zero.

I somehow felt empty, even with this tiny message and all those big, unanswered questions.

Another thought shot through my mind like a thunder, again, a somewhat bad but also good one.

I need to end this... either way..

....

At home he made letters for everyone, excluding Wooyoung, for his family, for his friends, even for his colleagues.

Explaining his unbearable state and that he loved -not including his colleagues- and thanked every one for everything they did to help him, even the smallest things.

But his time was basically up.

Jung Wooyoung was the only one who just got a tiny message over Telegram as they used to chat on that app until midnight and further.

San smiled, he remembered how openly they talked and just had fun.

How loving and caring they both were.

....

San slowly got into his bathroom and let water into the kinda small bathtub, getting some pills out of his cupboard.

He swallowed a handful, nine or maybe ten, of them. He didn't really know how many there were, San just guessed.

He then slowly brought his lifeless looking body down into the warm water.
He didn't even care that he only wore his pants and anybody could see his upper body and insecurities.

San wanted to remember some good things before he couldn't do so any more.
So the young man thought about the happy and joyful moments, with and without his most loved ones, in his short life.

As he slowly but surely became unconscious, sinking under the breathtaking liquid when his body stopped working because of the pills.

The last thing he saw was his phone, a message from Wooyoung.

So he really didn't forget about me.

And like this, his head was under the water.
A peaceful and resuring smile on his, still red, lips.

I love you too, Jung Wooyoung.

But i need a way we could dream on.

....

Double update today ♡

How is it??