just leave me alone.

a trip down memory lane

a/n : sooo! this might also be a little gory and kinda(idk)angsty 

includes:
m1d0r!
shins past 
mentions of s/h
m!d0r1 being horrible to shin 
Keiji actually caring for shin and
mentions of k1ves

summery of last chap :
shin went to keijis room, shin talked to keiji abt his past with the real sou, what happeneds next? READ TO FIND OUT ; 3

artwork drawn by me ^^
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shins pov~

i told keiji all of my feelings , my past , my stupid pathetic past..
i was so scared.. i didnt want to go back to my room.. it felt
unsafe.

" hey keiji.." i blurted out.. 
what was i saying?! what am i about to say?!

i fiddled with my sleeves, hoping keiji wont see  my scars.
i promised Kanna i would stop but.. im so stressed right  now. i need to

i-i-.. i just need to feel the sharp pain of a blade on my skin..
just me bleeding out feels  so satisfying.  

i-i-i.. 
 
i..

i...

i.. suddenly felt a warm fuzzy feeling all over my body.. like someone was hugging me..

"k-k-ke-i-ji..?" i uttered out my voice cracking.. i was crying?? i could hear him say 'everything will be okay!!' but it was a faint voice. i doubt he ever said that but.. keiji cant see me like this?! he will think im pathetic and he'll tell everyone what a weakling i really am.. i should have never trusted him..

" you really are weak souuu~~ "

i heard a voice say that to  me.. it wasnt keijis voice it was.. it was. it was

sou's..

"what would miss sara think~"

" such a pathetic little sheep."

"would you like me to help with that shin~..?"

a memory came back to me flashing before my eyes

[the memory]

"oh come on shin! please atleast try~ " Sou said as he held the kn1f3 in front of me 
"you wanted to try this? didnt you..?"

"s-sou im sorry im just a bit um scared.." i gave a ''smile''
i took a deep breath in.. i took the kn!f3. 
Sou needed help with some homework from our high school and it was about body injury's and of course i was the test subject..

i put the kn1f3 against my wrist and slashed the kn!f3 across my wrist
"a-ah..!" i screamed in pain.. i couldn't hold back my tears anymore i broke down..
i almost vomited.. i was loosing so much blood,

"awww.. would you like me to help you with that shin~..?"

[present]

the next thing i knew i was awake,

the only thing i remember is telling keiji about my troubles with sou, then i had a little meltdown? i guess, and then, the memory.

"sou?"

that was keijis voice!

"keiji? im so sorry you had to see me like this.."

i really am pathetic..


a/n: uhh idk what to put here : 3

bai bai for now then! 

words~443