Chapter 17: Sixteen

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"..another year at Hogwarts!" Dumbledore was announcing from the Head Table. The venerable Headmaster of Hogwarts smiled down at his students from the podium with twinkling blue eyes; he adjusted his half-moon glasses and stroked his beard with a hand that, in another universe, had been black and withered. (Though, in another universe, he was also dead by this point in time.) "I am sure the summer has been an eventful one for all of us-"

Me especially, Harry thought, glancing down at the phone in his lap and back up to the podium.

As Assistant, he might have taken issue with being in Dumbledore's presence, with how colorfully and legitimately the Dark Lord cursed his name. But Harry was very good at compartmentalizing by now, and instead he let himself enjoy the atmosphere of the Great Hall: this was his seventh year, his last year at Hogwarts - the last Welcoming Feast he would attend, and the last Sorting he had witnessed as a member of the student body.

Well, he enjoyed it inasmuch as anyone could enjoy a long speech before they started to get bored. Then, while Dumbledore was going on about the usual school rules - no prank items, of which a full list was posted outside Filch's office; no phones in the classroom; the Forbidden Forest is forbidden; et cetera - Harry surreptitiously opened his notes app and skimmed the list of books Sir recommended he look for in the library's Restricted Section, if he had the opportunity.

(By which he meant 'steal from the library', but Assistant wasn't beholden to rules like he was beholden to Sir.)

Some of the books listed were actually kind of familiar-sounding, now that he read the titles in detail; why, he was pretty sure that particular edition of Magick Moste Evile was the one he'd opened by accident in his first year, how about that-

Ron elbowed him under the table. Harry hastily turned his phone off, looking back up at the podium. "And lastly," Dumbledore was saying in the same solemn tone he had used after Voldemort's return was publicized in fifth year, "I would like to remind everyone that no matter how popular it may be at the moment, the study of Dark Arts remains illegal, and anyone found practicing such deplorable magic will be disciplined accordingly."

The answer to that was to just not get caught, Harry thought, ignoring the pointed look Hermione was sending him. He tuned out the rest of the speech up until Dumbledore conjured the lyrics for the school song, and was about to start the Gryffindor House interpretation they'd invented last year-

-when someone else in the Great Hall conjured the instrumental opening for Dark Livestream, and he sat bolt up right and grabbed for his phone-

In the background, Hermione facepalmed.


2017-09-01: hermione created group 'Lions Minus Harry' at 6:47pm

hermione added 7 members.

[6:48pm] hermione: Ron can you nudge him please 

       literally the worst 

        dumbledore is looking this way 

        this is not the time to watch PR on his phone

[6:50pm] hermione: thank you

[6:50pm] ron: no prob

[6:56pm] ron: wait whats that


"The Only Cool Slytherin Server", #general:

[6:56pm] WhiteDragon: WHO IS PLAYING THE DL THEME

[6:57pm] WhiteDragon: AAAAAAA

[6:57pm] MalfoysBitch: did you see potter react

[6:58pm] 420BlaiseIt: what in fresh hells is this

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