Immortal Love Book #3. Lost

8. "I will hate Dennis forever"

Dennis seemed unbreakable. His temple was just as intact as it was the moment that I first saw him with his humanity off, and we seemed to have made no progress over the last couple of days. Eleven days, to be exact. I had spent eleven days going back and forth from my house to school to Alexander's place and to my house again, and it all seemed to be for nothing. It was like he had been trained by Russians or something. It was like talking to a wall, and I felt like I had tried everything.

Alexander was ready to give up on the nice approach very quickly, and I was starting to see why. I just didn't know what else to do. Alexander had already tried the hard way, by torturing him and making him scared we would kill him, and it didn't work. I had been trying for the past eleven days to make him feel all kinds of things and nothing worked. I was tired. I was especially tired of hearing the man that I used to love wholeheartedly treat me like trash and tell me over and over again that what we had meant nothing.

Another day was coming to an end, and I was stuck inside that cell with Dennis trying to get him to break once again.

"You killed Merissa." I said. I thought maybe guilt was the way to go. He shrugged.

"She should be thanking me." he said. I laughed softly in a sarcastic tone. "She was weak and annoying as a human. I made her better." I almost couldn't believe the audacity.

"For an emotionless vampire, you seem very hateful." I said. He shrugged. I crossed my legs and leaned in closer to him. He seemed surprised by my lack of fear.

"Careful there, you don't want to get too close." he said. I stood my ground.

"You out of all people should know I could rip you apart if you tried anything." I said, confidently. He smiled softly.

"Look at you, Stella. You're a completely different person than when I met you." he said.

He wasn't wrong. I was a desperately lost young girl when he met me, and I had turned into a powerful and secure woman over the course of the last year. I knew my power and my worth. Despite of that, I still felt low sometimes, and part of that insecure girl was still in me, but I felt like I could handle anything now. I wasn't scared anymore. I thought the real Dennis would be proud of me, and I couldn't wait for him to finally wake up from this nightmare and see who I'd become. I wondered if he'd changed as well. My mind wondered for a second before I realized he caught on. He raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I am different. So, you should know that I won't let you manipulate me." I said. Dennis nodded, incredulous.

"You out of all people should know how easily I can do whatever I want with you." he said. Here we go again. Every couple of hours he would go on a rant to try and hurt my feelings. The first times made my eyes water. Now, a few days later, I was starting to feel like I could handle it.

"Right." I dismissed what he said. "So, it doesn't haunt you to know that you turned an innocent woman into the monster you've always hated to be?" I saw his smile disappear. We could say the experience had made me a little meaner also.

"Not really." his unbothered expression made an appearance again. "I'm sure you even like her better now. You've always preferred vampires." he said. I rolled my eyes.

"I don't prefer vampires." I said. His expression challenged me. "I just preferred you." I said, honestly. Maybe I had to be softer. I carefully observed his expression. I saw some vulnerability again. A small and almost unnoticeable spark in his eyes gave me some hope, but it was gone before I could exploit it.

"And Alexander." he said. He always found a way to make the conversation about me and Alexander. I was starting to see a trend. It seemed to be a topic he was interested in. Maybe that was the way in.

"Is that jealousy I sense in your voice?" I asked. Dennis' expression didn't change.

"Jealous?" he laughed. "I have been alive for a really long time, and I have gone through so much pain and suffering, yet the worst thing I have ever experienced has to be being your 'boyfriend'" he said in a mocking tone. I felt a stab in my stomach. Calm down, Stella. He doesn't mean it. Maybe I wasn't as strong as I thought I was.

"I..." I didn't know what to say. How could I even respond to something like that? I sighed and looked at my watch. It was late. Really late.

I locked the door behind me after another exhausting and unsuccessful session. Alexander was waiting for me on the other side of the door like he had been every night. He looked at me and immediately realized I had made no progress, again. I sighed.

"I don't even want to talk about it." I said, absolutely fed up. Alexander nodded.

"Do you know what time it is?" he asked. I nodded. It was almost 02.00 am. I had been there for almost ten hours. Today's session had been especially long for whatever reason. Maybe the perfectionist part of me was at the wheel today. Who knew? I yawned, exhausted. "That bad?" he asked.

"I said I don't want to talk about it." I said, exasperated.

I didn't mean to take it out on Alexander. He had been exceptionally nice and understanding lately. And I was sure to say he was my only support system as of right now, along with Merissa. He had lied to me, and for that I was still a little sore. If there was one thing that hurt me more than most, was dishonesty. However, Alexander was making it up. I sighed.

"Sorry." I apologized. He nodded, being understanding once again.

"Just give it time." he said. I shook my head.

"I already gave it time. I don't know what to do anymore." I said. I realized my voice shook a little as I said it, and my eyes began to fill with water.

I was tired and lost. I didn't know what my life was supposed to look like now, even if we helped Dennis. I used to have it all so clear, but now all I could see was a big void. Alexander walked towards me and held me in his arms. His embrace was something else. His arms were warm and gentle, not like how I'd imagined. I leaned my head on his chest and felt his heartbeat. When I first heard of vampires, I'd imagined they wouldn't have a heartbeat, but they did. They needed to drink blood to keep their hearts from beating, but it was a heart, nonetheless. I sighed, and let the tears fall unbothered. I was probably wetting his shirt, but I couldn't stop myself. What had my life turned into? What happened to the Stella that existed a year ago? I knew the answer to that, as hard as it was to admit it.

Dennis had changed me. He had made me go from a scared little girl to a woman. And not just him. Alexander, Merissa, and I. I had single-handedly saved the people in this world more than once, and I had done so at the expense of my mental health, and my relationships. I had gone through grief, love, pain, loneliness, heartache, joy, and much more. I had been through a lot and I was now at the other side, still unsure of what it all meant. Why me? I still had so many unanswered questions, but being in Alexander's arms made it all go away for a split second. I pulled away after a minute of crying on his chest, and I looked at him.

His blue eyes sparked with compassion, and his smile was trying to transmit to me that everything would be okay. I paid attention to his face and hair. His eyebrows were slightly curved, his eyes were wide and expectant, and a chunk of his hair fell effortlessly on his forehead like someone had planted it there. He looked gorgeous. He always did. An advantage to vampires was their incredibly well-preserved skin, their always shiny hair, and their unmeasurable beauty. I had never met a vampire that wasn't beautiful, but I had also never met one that was as beautiful as Alexander. He took me by surprise when he wiped my tears with his hand.

"I will hate Dennis forever." he said. I frowned. Didn't we sort of know that already? "But not for what he did to me, to Merissa, or to Jacqueline. I could forgive him for that" he continued. I didn't know what his point was, but I continued listening. "But the one thing I will never forgive him for is hurting you the way he has." he said. I was a little shocked. He noticed. He finished wiping my tears, but his hand lingered on my face a little longer. "If you were mine, nothing in this world would make me jeopardize it." he whispered at the end. I felt my heart race. His eyes wandered to my lips. His left hand was still on my back, and his right hand was still holding my cheek. It looked like he might kiss me, and I might let him.

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Sorry for taking so long, but some things happened. I'm back tho :)