A Stand-in Bride

Chapter 9

Xiao Zhan

"Xiao Zhan?"

I frown at the sound of Grandma Carmen's voice behind me and snuggle a bit closer, not wanting to wake up.

"Yibo?"

My muddled mind slowly starts to clear and I freeze when I realize that I've got a strong arm wrapped around me. Fragments of last night flash through my mind and my stomach drops. Oh no.

I twist in Yibo's embrace, waking him up and he blinks slowly, his eyes finding mine as he smiles lazily. "Morning drunkard," he says.

The smile melts off his face as he looks past me and I let my eyes fall closed in shame. "Grandma," he says, his voice tinged with horror. His grip on me loosens. "What are you doing here?"

Yibo sits up and pulls me up with him, keeping his arm wrapped around me. I raise my face hesitantly, well aware of what this looks like. My dress is on the floor and Yibo is in nothing but his grey sweatpants, while I'm wearing his shirt.

Grandma Carmen's expression is unreadable. "Big night?" she asks and I nod.

"Dilraba and I, um... we drank way too much and Yibo ended up having to take care of us."

I can't face him, not after what I did last night. The way I harassed him last night was not okay. I have no doubt he'll be furious and I've probably done irreparable damage to our friendship and what for?

"Where is Reba?"

Yibo clears his throat. Does he realize he still has his arms wrapped around me? "In my bed. Best to let her sleep a bit longer. She was really quite drunk."

Grandma nods. "How about you two get some more rest too? You look... disheveled. I will have some breakfast sent over for the three of you later. You can just warm it up once Reba wakes up."

Yibo and I are tense as Grandma Carmen walks away, a sweet smile on her face. "I should go too," I say the moment the door closes behind her. I rise to my feet nervously and grab my clothes off the floor, embarrassment flooding me.

"Hold on," Yibo says and I turn around to face him, my heart hammering in my chest. "Come here, Xiao Zhan," he orders and I walk back towards him hesitantly, pausing in front of him, his legs on either side of me. He leans back and spreads his arms across the back of the sofa, his eyes on me. I haven't seen him this way in years, with his torso bare and his abs and chest on display. Does he realize what kind of image he's painting?

"How do you feel, Zhan? I've never seen you as drunk as you were last night. Can you even remember half the shit you did?"

I let my eyes fall closed and nod. "Yibo," I whisper. "I'm so sorry. Nothing I can say will make up for how I treated you last night. I'm so ashamed of my actions and I can't even imagine how angry you must be. I'm so sorry, truly. I don't know what I was thinking. I never should've... I can't believe..."

He grabs my hand and pulls me closer. "Not so confident today, aren't you? Last night you were all too happy to sit on my lap and demand to wear my shirt, getting naked in the process."

I sit down next to him and wrap my arms around myself. "Do you really need to remind me of that?" I ask, mortified.

He chuckles. "It's okay Zhan. I'm not mad, I'm just confused. You've never acted that way before and definitely never around me. What's going on with you?" Yibo runs a hand through his hair and looks away. "I mean, I get being drunk and wanting to go home with someone, wanting that thrill, the release. But that isn't you."

I chuckle humorlessly. "You don't know me as well as you think you do Yibo." I say, taking the excuse he's handing me. "It's just been a while since I got laid and I wanted it badly. Anyone would've done."

He narrows his eyes at me. "Do you do this often? Get drunk? One night stands?"

I purse my lips, unable to look at him. "Does it matter? I'm an adult Yibo. I know what I'm doing. I don't need you to lecture me."

"Xiao Zhan, you need to be careful. You can't just give anyone access to you. Don't even dream of ever going home with someone you don't know, you hear me? It's hardly safe for a regular girl, but you? You're the object of so many men's desires. Who knows what those fucked up perverts are fantasizing about as they collect pictures of you. I've seen the comments on all of your posts. It isn't safe."

I wrap my arms around myself, unsure what to say. "Are you going to tell Cheng Xiao about this?"

He sighs and falls back on the sofa, his eyes on the ceiling. "How am I supposed to tell her I had her sister naked on my lap? I know you didn't have any bad intentions and that you were just drunk, but Cheng Xiao wouldn't see it that way. It's best not to tell her anything at all. I've had my fair share of drunken, embarrassing moments. You're entitled to yours. I just want you to promise me you won't do this again."

"I'm sorry," I tell him. "I won't ever look at you that way again. I won't come near you. I'll keep my distance."

"No," he snaps, panic flashing through his eyes. "That's not what I meant. I need you to promise me you won't get so drunk that you aren't in control of what you're doing or saying. Do you know how easy it would've been for me to take advantage of you last night? I had you naked in my arms, Zhan. Do you know how easy it would've been to push my sweatpants aside and slide deep inside you? I could've pinned you down on this sofa and fucked you raw and there's nothing you would've been able to do about it. Don't find yourself alone with a man that won't respect you, someone who would take advantage of you when you aren't thinking clearly."

A blush stains my cheeks as his words resound in my mind. Was he tempted, for even a moment? "I hear you," I murmur. "I'm sorry, Yibo. This won't happen again."

"It'd better not. Not with me and certainly not with anyone else."

I nod. "It won't," I promise. I can't believe I acted the way I did. For years, I managed to hide my feelings for him, until last night. It's a good thing he seems to think it's merely me being drunk because my actions could've ruined our friendship forever.

"I really am sorry Yibo. I'm not even sure what to say to you, other than that I'm ashamed and remorseful."

He smiles at me and leans in to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. "It's okay, Zhan. Let's just forget that happened, okay?"

I nod and rise to my feet. "I need to go," I tell him. I need some time to myself, to pick up the pieces of my shattered hopes. I can still hear his words ringing through my mind.

I don't want you Zhan. I'll never want you.

I've always known that but a small part of me thought I could change his mind. Maybe  I'm just conceited, but I thought that he'd give in if I made a move, that he wouldn't be able to resist me. I should've known better.

"Who is it?" he asks. I look back in surprise, confused. "Who is the man you were talking about last night? You said you regretted not going after the man you love and just now too, the expression you carried was pure sorrow. Who is he?"

I smile at him and shake my head. "Drunken ramblings Yibo. There isn't anyone."

"In vino veritas," he tells me. In wine lies the truth. Yeah, that certainly is true for me. I nearly spilled all my secrets because I had too much to drink.

"Fine," I admit. "I just don't want to talk about it."

"Whoever he is, don't try to fuck him out of your system. That never works and in your case, it'll just backfire. You're too famous, too easily caught up in scandals. Don't risk your reputation for some asshole that can't see what he's got anyway."

I chuckle in amusement and nod. "Yeah," I agree. "I'm done. I'm done caring about him, hoping that someday I might have a chance. It's time to move on."

He nods hesitantly and I wonder if at least a tiny part of him realizes that it's him I'm talking about. With the way I acted last night, surely he must at least suspect it.

"Come on," he says. "Get dressed and I'll drive you home."