The Final Choice

43

I did as he said, feeling his eyes on me, as I walked towards the grill. I couldn't help but marvel at just how amazing this house really was. Sam and Colby had done extremely well for themselves. I always knew they would, but it made me feel so out of place. Like I didn't belong. I was only playing pretend for a few days. 

If a few days was all I got, then I was going to make the best of it. 

My hands shook, as I filled the cup about halfway, from the small sink that was under the alcove that covered the grill area. There were two lounge sofas and a chair surrounding a fire pit, with the grill, sink, cabinet, and counter space on one side of the area. Nothing like the bon fires that we would have back home. It was just so...expensive. 

I made my way back over to the lounge chair, watching Colby, as he went underwater, did a flip and came back up. As I sat down, he caught my eye. "I see you found a shirt to cover the suit," he smirked. Fuck you and that damn smirk. 

I cleared my throat and nodded. "Yeah, I stopped by your room to see if you were still in there. Your door was open and I saw the shirt. Didn't think you'd mind. Mine wasn't long enough," I replied, praying my voice stayed steady. Those ice blue eyes of his raked over my body slowly, almost feeling like his fingertips. My breath gasped out, as they came back up to meet my own. "Definitely don't mind," he replied, with his voice dropping an octave. 

Again, I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded and took out my cigarettes. After taking the first unsteady drag, my nerves calmed just a bit. I couldn't believe that I hadn't even had one today. Usually, it was the first thing I did, after waking. A few more drags, and the slight headrush from not smoking for a little while swept through me. I closed my eyes for a second, sighing. 

"You okay?" I heard him ask. I opened my eyes and smiled. "Yes. I'm okay. Just thinking." "About what?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow at me. I let out another sigh and looked up at the sky. The sun was high and bright, warming the air around us. It was a beautiful day, the blue above me reminding me of the blue eyes in front of me. 

"Just life and how things change. It's crazy how one choice, or a few choices, can have such a drastic effect on how your life turns out," I continued, fiddling with the end of my cigarette, looking down at it. "You know what else is crazy about life?" he asked, in that spine tingling deep voice of his. I looked up and gave him a small, sad smile. "What?" I asked. "You can always change it. You can always make more choices. Nothing is final, except death, and we both know that's not even final. So why worry about the past?" he replied. 

I chuckled at how optimistic he was and shrugged. "I don't know. It's just hard for me not too. I seem to live in the past, always going over every decision that I've ever made and how I could've done it differently. I don't know how to change that part of me. I don't know how to change any part of me." I dropped the burned out cigarette into the cup of water and set it on the concrete. 

"Come on. Get in the water with me, Pretty girl," he said, softly, just before he splashed water at me. I shrieked, as it landed on my shoulder and arms, expecting it to be cold. Instead, it was just as warm as the air around us. "Oh, come on!" I exclaimed. "You have a heated fucking pool, don't you?" He chuckled and splashed me again. "Get in the water, before I have to put you over my shoulder and drop you in it." 

Fuck. If I wasn't so against him picking me up, I might really enjoy that. I shook the mental image from my head and rolled my eyes at him, to play off the way it made me feel. "Fine," I replied, smartly. As I stood up, I debated on whether or not to keep the shirt on or not. Was I brave enough to take it off? Did I really want him to see my body?

If I wanted to change who I was, shouldn't I be taking chances like this? Shouldn't I try to be a little bit braver and just say fuck it? This should be an easy choice. Obviously, I had issues. "Don't push it, Pretty girl," he said, dragging me out of my own head. "You've got 5 seconds, before I come after you." Shit. Okay.