The Final Choice

60

The entire ride to the police station, Colby kept his hand on my thigh, gently rubbing his thumb back and forth on the outside of it. This action kept me from completely going unhinged. My nerves were buzzing, making my body tremble with anxiety. I didn't want to do this. 

I didn't want to go through with putting a restraining order against Will. I didn't want it to come to this. I always hoped that we could both just get on with our lives. I remembered the sweet times that we had, like when he would hold me when I was sick. Or, when we snuggled together on the couch to watch a scary movie. 

Then, I remembered the arguments that would soon follow, or the way I wasn't really happy in those moments. I remembered the way I had to walk on egg shells, just so I wouldn't trigger another argument. I trained myself to bury who I really was to make him happy. 

Hell, I never even got to figure out who I was. I still didn't know, and we had been broken up for years now. I was still the person that he made me into, instead of who I could've been, who I wanted to be. 

I remembered that he had threatened my family. When we pulled into the parking lot, my hands were steady, when I opened the door. This had to happen. I didn't know if it would do any good at all, since Will was never one to follow the rules, but it was the first step. 

"You okay?" Colby murmured, as he took my hand in his. I looked up and met his gaze. Concern was there, in his eyes, as he furrowed his brow. I nodded and gave him a small smile. "Yeah, I'm okay. This has to happen. It needs to happen. Thank you for coming with me," I replied, as I leaned up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his. 

He cupped my face in his palm and returned the kiss, soft and sweet. "Anything for you, Pretty Girl," he whispered, when we broke apart. "I love you." I sighed and let his words wash over me. Instead of the instant regret that I would feel when Will said those three little words to me, I felt at peace. I felt like this was right. 

"I love you, Colby," I whispered back. I didn't think that I would ever say those words to anyone in a romantic way again. I didn't think it was possible to love someone, with all of my trust issues and the fucking trauma that I still had to deal with. Trauma that I would probably always have to deal with. Colby broke through those walls without me even realizing it. With him, it was like they were never even there. 

We made our way into the old brick building and stopped at the little sliding glass window. The walls were a dingy gray, with the occasional white mark, where the pain had been scraped off. There were white hard plastic chairs lined against one wall. You know, the kind that was curved and really fucking uncomfortable. The infamous kitty hanging from the rope poster was on the other wall, across from the chairs. Along with a few framed pictures and newspaper clippings.

There was an officer sitting behind the sliding glass window, talking on the phone. He was young, probably younger than Colby and I, with a military style haircut to his blonde hair. His features were chiseled, and his uniform strained against his shoulders. Either he worked out a lot, or they had given him a uniform that was too small. The little gold pin over his heart had the name "E. Carter" on it. 

These were the little details that my mind took in, as we waited for him to acknowledge us. If it took too much longer, I was going back to the car. I had missed a few days on taking my anxiety meds, so things were really starting to get to me worse than before. 

Just as I started to take a step back towards the door, E. Carter hung up the phone. "Hi, how can I help you?" he asked, sending me a smile, then looking back at Colby. I took a deep breath, then stuttered when it got stuck in my throat. Was I even going to be able to tell him what I needed?

"You got this," Colby murmured, tightening his grip on my hand. I glanced at him, taking his smile as encouragement, and nodded. "I need to file a restraining order," I said, looking the officer in the eye. "Okay, we'll need you to come back to another room, so that we can get all of the information that we need. Is that okay?" E. Carter asked.