Red Sunflowers in Texas

Chapter Twenty

He'll Always Be

Time seemed to of stopped when the woman walked in the living room where Johnny once spinning Wes happily, no longer was. He still holding him just at a stand still now.

"...ma..." his deep voice trembled.

"Oh my boy!" she opened her arms wide.

Johnny hoisted Wes in to his chest walking to meet her. You follow up behind her to get him from Johnny so he could embrace his mother.

"Johnny! Is that... is that a baby?" she pushed her glasses up her nose, and pulled her head back.

Johnny had stopped just before handing him over to you, and pulled him back in to his chest.

"Yea... this is Wes ma, and this is YN. We're together."

Nancy looks to you, looking you up and down. When her eyes met yours she squinted. You extend a hand for her to shake, and smile.

"Hi, it's nice to finally meet you! Johnny's spoke very highly of you it's an honour to meet his mother in the flesh."

"...where's Drayton or Verna?"

Sissy told her that they were upstairs for the night. Nancy insisted she fetch them. You pull your hand back, furrowing your eyebrows before going to stand beside Johnny, and start playing with Wes' cheeks. He giggled .

Drayton and Verna came down eventually.

"I told y'all to watch over my boy. Not let him get laid up with some city girl. Now he's got a child! The hells wrong with ya Drayton?"

"The hell ya yellin at me fer? That ain't Johnnys baby! YN saved him from a dead girl, they been raising him like one our own for months now. Had ya been round yud know that!"

Nancy turned to Johnny and yourself. You feel yourself swallow the frog in your throat as she approached the two of you.

"...Johnny is that true? Ya been shacked up with some city girl, and now ya raising a child that ain't yers to raise? Boy I swear... I learnt ya better than that!"

"... we're just doing what's right..." you speak up and say.

"What's right? What's right woulda been given my Johnny his own children!"

"Ma... I told her not now..."

"Johnny... my sweet Johnny... we need to talk... alone... so give your little missy here that bastard child..."

"We can go up to my room and talk..." Johnny suggests handing Wes off to you before kissing both your foreheads. You gently rub his upper arm forcing a smile.

JOHNNYS POV

As happy as you were to see your ma it'd been months since you'd last saw her. With her came uncertainty, she'd surly want you to come back home with her... alone. Leaving RN and Wes... leaving Nubbins... Sissy... Bubba... Drayton and Verna. You'd become so accustom to the way your life was. You thought she'd be proud of you for raising a child that's not yours to raise, but she was disappointed. Closing your bed room door and sitting on the edge of your bed.

"Ma... are ya mad at me?"

"Mad at ya Johnny? I'm disappointed! I know ya know better, the hell ya doin playin house with er? How ya even meet er?"

You explain the circumstances of RN and yourself being together. Before you could stop telling the story your ma had slapped you several times over telling you how stupid you were.

"...Johnny I'm... im sorry... y'know everything I been going through and here ya are playin house... not thinking bout how it would hurt me. It's always just been us, it'll always be us my sweet boy."

You soon start to realize you were being selfish. Noticing that you hadn't thought about your ma one bit when making these choices. After apologizing profusely to her she finally accepted your apology once you were crying on the floor at her feet.

"It's okay my sweet boy, it'll be alright. I need to get ya outta here. These Sawyers done ruined your pretty mind, food is food. Ya ain't supposed to fall in love with it!"

"...can... can ya give me time with em... a couple days ma... please..."

Nancy against her better judgment agreed, and went to the spare room across the way.

How... how were you going to tell RN you were leaving her. How were you going to provide for her or love her from Nancy's house? How can you raise Wes to be like you if he's here? How will you... all of these questions running rampant through your mind as you stare at the door to your room from the ground. The sudden opening of your door caused you to jump.

"...Johnny..." RN asked still holding Wes on her side.

You avoid looking at her you knew your eyes were still puffy.

"Let me put him down... I'll be right back..." she says going to put Wes in his crib.

Taking advantage of a clear shot you get up quickly essentially running out of the door, and out of the house. Once deep in the sunflower fields you stop running, and close your eyes. Feeling tears pooling at the edges of your eyes, tears running down your cheeks.

"...wha... what the hell Johnny?" RN was stood behind you out of breathe.

You keep your back to her but she comes to your front.

"Joh-" she reaches for your face but you grab her wrists pushing her away.

The look of hurt on her face, killed you inside. You never wanted to cause her pain. She didn't deserve that, and you didn't deserve her. She deserves better than you... you.. you can never be what she needs. Not when you had to be there for your ma. She was right it's always just been the two of you. Why should you change any of that? It was selfish of you to want a family.

"Johnny talk to me please! I... I can't help you if I don't know the problem!"

"Us... you... this place is the problem."

"What?" her voice even sounded hurt.

"Ma is right I... I have obligations to her. I was thinking for myself. I should of took how she'd feel in consideration..."

"What about.. you said you loved me Johnny..."

"And I do. But we can't.. this can't be a thing anymore. I'll be here a couple more days and then I'm leaving to go back home with ma..."

"What about Wes?"

"That... that bastard child isn't mine. He means nothing to me."

"Johnny do you hear yourself now? You... you're talking crazy!"

"Look... it's just the facts RN. I should of killed you when I captured you, I'm not supposed to play with my food. Now you're in this situation. I'll hate myself everyday for that. And if you want I'll kill you right now. I don't want to but I will..."

"Johnny do you remember all those months ago you said you'd die for me? You'd of given your life for me. Now here you are talking so... so cold to me like I mean...nothing to you..."

"Yes I know what I said before. I meant it."

"So what the hell are you doing baby?"

"Don't call me that anymore...I'm not yours RN!"

"You're... you're a grown ass man Johnny. You don't need your mother permission for what you do with your life! I... I hate you!" She just shakes her head before burying her face in her hands crying, and starting to walk off.

The guilt you felt. The amount of rage, and hate boiling inside of you. You hated yourself so much more than she could ever hate you. Grabbing sunflower stalks and breaking them.

I hope you're enjoying the twist here, it'll be worth it I promise!

Do you have a favourite part yet? Comment it!