Ruins of a Lady

Journal N°One

                        Germany,Leipzing Kassell in 1810 ,Horsh Steinhall Mansion .

                                                  Emma Alanxandrit 's Journal :

December the eleventh of 1803,i knew i was cursed or rather discovered my family is, that tragic day,the day I lost my mother, although we never had a good mother/ daughter relationship, her loss devastated me, life was insufferable ever since I was born, the only child of very powerful Duke, Ecstrant Alanxandrit, it has been only the three of us inside a voluptuous gigantic castle, now as they burry her coffin into this damned deep endless grounds, this soulless woman who was supposed to be my protector, my life guide advisor, a warmth giver to her one & only daughter,alas ,none of that was her grace, she was supposed to love me endlessly like grounding to earth angel, but instead  this last sixteen years of my life, I never knew her as a mother, but as her Grace Alessa Alanxandrit, Duchess of Tagebuch & beyond, she was a cold stoned parent, never cared once about my welfare being nor about my emotions throughout this long woeful years I spent in this cruel castle, her soul gone now only means welcoming despair & sorrows,because from now on i have to live with my awful demon of father ,with each throw of earth down the gloomy pit hole  , i weep my despairs away , my resignation ,gulping down what monstrous fate is awaiting me ,when it is gonna be only me & my demoniac beast of father,when alone inside our damned Family Mansion .

           Today in Germany, Leipzig Kassall  where we live inside our Family's Stone Cold Mansion, my father the Duke of a childless heir, remarried & very tried to bring an Alaxandrit boy to this world, as I said very tried, with his lovely wife Antoinette Gheute, a widow of quite a few riches around Tagebuch, at least I had not to stand the harshness of father alone, even though she acts like I am her most sworn nemesis in this world sometimes , she's though been such a good help to survive, life has never been easy with the duke, especially when mother died & left him without a son, most nights he'll blame it all on me, his griefing anger slashing me sluggishly every day, until he met  Roba Antoinette, i can assure you even at his best days can make life unbearable , considering our fatal name, the very definition of cursed fate, as an Alaxandrit , I am born with restrictions & biding rules more than any noble family, and with angsty soulless monster of father, I had to survive each day ,with a burden such our name comes a weight , a responsability to never tame our sacred title ,a name bestown on us with honor ,so we preserve with humility & gratitude ,we call it the book's Honor of the Alaxandrit sworn bible ,surprisingly this past three years has been stuningly tolerable ,when father announces he can no longer can grow another member to our thined lined family , he decided to marry me to our long far away Scottish cousin ,even though we have quite a large web of family lines around Germany but most of them dead due to endless wars or of old age ,father need for me a young healthy man whom together can restore our royall entitled name back ,& carry on our ancestory line for the upcoming generations ,thus ,my father seised his bothering , and ever since my life has been joyous melodrama of mischeif & gambles .