Seraphine

twenty one

Seraphine

Seraphine only allows herself a second to change her mind when she reaches the front door, and when she doesn't, her lips seal into a thin line and she grabs the handle.

Within minutes, she's approaching that same grand gate at the bottom of the property, and her anxiety is clawing at her throat as she nears the security guard she'd waved at earlier.

She looks nice enough, Seraphine decides, and blows out a breath, adjusting her--Enzo's--clothes before stepping up to the small glass booth and knocking gently.

The security guard, a slim black woman with long blue and black braids looks down at her, not even phased by her presence. Instead, she gives Seraphine a warm smile and sets down the book she was reading.

Seraphine glances at the title. Lord of the Flies.

"I love that book," she murmurs before her mind can catch up with her tongue. The guard looks down at the book, eyes widening.

"Really? I just started it, Damien recommended it. He said I needed to know the difference between life and death," she says, and Seraphine furrows her brows.

"Why?" The guard opens her mouth, like she's going to answer honestly, when she hesitates and her eyes widen even more. Her face pales like she's seen a ghost, and her lips part slightly.

"Oh fuck," she curses, taking Seraphine aback. She steps up closer to the booth, squinting her eyes.

"Are you okay?" The guard runs a hand over her braids and shakily sighs, her brown eyes unfocused as they jump from the book to Seraphine. After a moment, her easy smile comes back, but Seraphine is unsettled.

"Y-Yeah, yeah, it's stupid. Never mind, forget I said anything. Do you have a ride, honey?"

Seraphine blinks. The familiar confusion that's been clouding her mind for years rises, and she can't help but tilt her head to the side, trying to figure out the security guard.

When she can't find anything but walled up brown eyes and a smile that grows tenser the more Seraphine stares, she pulls her gaze away, trying to ignore the way the guard physically relaxes.

What's so bad about life and death? She wonders, her eyes going back to Lord of the Flies.

"Um, yes." She lies through her teeth, smiling tersely up through the glass. "He's right down the road."

The guard turns in her chair, her nails clacking against the keyboard as she types up a few things. Her eyebrows furrow, and she glances back down at Seraphine.

"I don't see a car..." Seraphine's eyes widen as she's caught in her lie, and she thinks of all the risky things she's done this week.

What's one more?

She starts fumbling with her pockets, pretending to be looking for something. When she comes up empty, she turns back to the guard with a sheepish expression.

"I must've left my phone inside the house; I'll go grab it and then be right back," she says, backing away from the security guard's booth, away from the gate, away from her escape.

I'll find another way out.

"Okay, honey. I'll be right here, waiting for you," the kind woman warns her, and Seraphine nods, but her mind is focused on analyzing her surroundings for an exit.

"Thank you!" Her mood skyrockets when she sees the tall, dense trees in one corner of the property. She turns around and starts jogging towards the house, giving the illusion of going back to it, and when she's sure the guard isn't looking anymore, she turns sharply to the right and practically dives into the forest.

Seraphine pushes through the thick bushes and low-hanging branches, trying not to scrape or ruin Enzo's clothes as she does so. She's ever so grateful for her decision to wear flats instead of heels when Derek forced her out of their apartment.

"Was that today?" Seraphine muses aloud, her mind reeling with the happenings of tonight. She wishes she had a watch so she could check the time, but Derek insisted she take it off.

She rubs her bare wrist, missing the feeling of cold metal against her skin. Seraphine doesn't remember how or where she got it from, but she knows she barely takes it off, except to shower and sleep, and when she used to go out with Derek.

"Happy Birthday to you," the song starts in the back of her mind, and Seraphine gasps before she's thrown into another memory.

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Seraphine, Happy Birthday to you!" Laughter cracks through the last verse, making a young Seraphine giggle herself. Her eyes aren't focused on the people surrounding her, too busy eating up the beautiful lemon cake in front of her.

"Make a wish, Ser," again, her eyes don't go follow the deep, masculine voice that addresses her. She closes them instead, and leans forward, feeling the heat of the candles beneath her chin.

Seraphine stumbles into a tree, hitting her head once more against the rough bark. She pulls away and rubs at the throbbing spot, her mind racing.

She doesn't get to see the rest of the memory, having been pulled from it, but she can recall the wish she made on her 16th birthday well:

I wish for my soulmate.

A year later, she thought she found him. Tall, kind, and oh-so-handsome, Derek was everything she never thought she needed.

Seraphine furrows her brows as she leans against a tree, trying to get her pounding head under control.

Why am I having a vision of...were those my parents? I can't remember.

"Why can't I remember?" Seraphine mutters, rubbing her temples and trying to reach into the depths of her mind for her memories. Tears spring to her eyes as she fumbles around the corners of her brain, and her skull throbs.

Whatever. I just need to get back to Derek.

She sighs and takes a step forward, pushing off of the tree and further into the forest.

It feels like hours have passed when she finally shoves herself out of the trees and onto the street, but it's only been a few minutes. It's only when she's halfway down the street that she looks over her shoulder at the grand mansion, feeling a pang of guilt for leaving them.

They're my professors, dammit, we shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't be doing this.

Seraphine turns back around and continues down the street. Her head is on a swivel, hiding from oncoming headlights while also trying to make out the names of the streets she passes.

By some kind of miracle, she finds herself on Main Street, and she sighs in relief. She follows it into the university's campus, passing the English building as she walks towards her apartment.

She pauses, for the first time that night wondering if Derek even made it home safely.

Might as well check here first and then go to the club, she reasons with herself. Seraphine continues cutting through the large, castle-like campus until she finds her and Derek's apartment.

She takes in a shaky breath and climbs the steps to the gate, bending down. Her knees shake as she does so, and she grits her teeth against the throbbing of her head, ribs, and ankles as she steps out of her right shoe and grabs the key that's lying there.

It's been bothering her all night, but Derek insisted she keep it there in case he lost his. Right now, she's grateful that she doesn't have to buzz one of her neighbors to let her in, or worse, Derek.

Her hand trembles as she inserts the key and turns it, unlocking the gate. She steps through and closes it gently behind her before walking up to the heavy door that leads to the slew of apartments.

Seraphine glances over her shoulder into the night for one last time before letting the door shut behind her, sealing her fate.