Wish I Were // A TMF fanfiction (Drake)

Regrets

Friday, day after the fight 

Jake's POV: 

   "Bye Milly, bye Sean!" 

   I waved with a smile as they left the clubroom, heading home for the day. They both took the after-school bus home after practice, so they had to leave earlier than the rest of us. Which left me, Hailey, Luke, and a still-angry Zander alone in the room. 

   Hailey and I kept talking for a bit longer. We sat at the table, working on the last few adjustments to the song we would be singing at the competition, which was set for tomorrow. Gosh, it was hard to believe it'd only been... what, a month? Two? I'd lost track how long I'd been a part of the club; we've already accomplished so much. We'd written an entire song, helped Hailey learn to face her stage fright, and had a LOT of drama. 

   But that also meant I'd managed to lose three of my closest (and only) friends. 

   Even if Hailey was right, and they were toxic... I still missed them. 

   I just wish... 

   "Jake?" Hailey was saying, nudging my shoulder lightly. Luke and Zander weren't anywhere in sight, so they must have left while I was zoning out. Not that I thought Zander would be happy leaving me alone with Hailey anywhere anymore, especially after the audio. "Hmm? Oh, uh- what Hailey?" I replied, laughing awkwardly. "Sorry, I was lost in thought there for a minute." 

   Hailey looked at me, concern evident in her stormy-gray eyes. "Hey... Are you okay?" She questioned. "You've had your head in the clouds ever since your fight with Drew yesterday. I thought you'd be glad to not have them constantly giving you a hard time, just for singing?" 

   "No, I am!" I said quickly. Hailey raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. I sighed. "I don't know. Maybe a little. It's just... Drew was right in some ways." I looked down, picking at my fingernails in the form of a nervous habit. "They've been my friends for so long, and... I wasn't even honest with them about being in the club. It wasn't right of me." 

   "Jake..." She put a hand on my shoulder reassuringly, and I looked up. She smiled at me softly, attempting to make me feel better. "You did the right thing. If they had supported your interests in the first place, you would never have had to hide it from them in the first place. It's not your fault for being scared to tell them. They've always been jerks to me and the rest of the club... It was only a matter of time before they'd end up turning on you, too. You did nothing wrong." 

   "Heh... Thanks, Hailey," I replied, managing to force a small smile onto my face. "I guess your right. They probably didn't care much, anyways. I guess we weren't as close as I thought." 

   We stayed quiet for a few moments, neither of us sure what to say. After what felt like forever of sitting in awkward silence, Hailey took my hand, squeezing it a moment before letting go and standing up. "Well, I'd better head home now, before Zander gets worried and blames you for something stupid," She said, a laughing quietly to break the ice. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow at the competition, then." 

   I smiled at her again, this time unforced. "Of course! You're gonna do amazing, Hailey! We'll win this competition for sure. The judges won't even know what hit 'em," I grinned. 

   Hailey smiled shyly, and I thought I may have even seen a faint blush across her face. "Thanks, Jake," She laughed softly. "You'll do amazing as well, like usual." She grabbed her bag and started to leave the room. She paused in the doorway, hesitating, and looked back at me. "Oh, and Jake? Thanks for choosing us." She smiled, and waved as she left the room. 

   "Bye Hailey," I smiled back, but she had already left. As soon as she was gone, the entire room felt quiet. The last time I had been alone in the club room was after... the audio. Every other time I'd been in the club room, there was someone there to talk to, and I'd never had to be alone with my thoughts. But now that everyone had left, the silence allowed my thoughts to grow louder. 

   I sighed tiredly in the midst of the silence, leaning back in my chair. I rubbed my eyes, feeling the effects of my poor sleep schedule taking effect once more. I hadn't gotten much sleep after my fight with Drew yesterday. I kept having nightmares. Nightmares of the argument playing over and over in my mind, even though I chose the club over Drew and the others. I should have been fine, but I wasn't. 

   As much as I hated to admit it, I missed them all. 

   What hurt the most was that Drew had been right. Not about the club, but about me being a bad friend, and I didn't realize it until it was too late. I never did tell him and the others about how much the club meant to me. I never even told them how much both of my friend groups meant to me. 

   But I did think I gave them hints, though. I thought that it would have been obvious that I wasn't apart of the club just for Daisy, or that singing meant more to me than just a way to confess to the girl I liked. I think Henry and Liam may have gotten the hint, or understood to some extent, and they were cool with it. Drew however... He didn't notice, or maybe he just didn't care. 

   Drew hadn't been at school today. I'd never seen him skip class before. Even when he was sick, he'd usually come to school, unless it was something serious enough that he absolutely needed to stay home. He wasn't the type to ditch school, although most people wouldn't think that, what with his reputation at school and all. But seeing as it was VERY unlikely he'd gotten sick right after our argument yesterday, he was probably ditching school today. 

   Was it because of the fight? 

   ... Did I actually hurt him that much? 

   My phone buzzed, snapping me out of my thoughts and back to the silent clubroom. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw that my mom had texted, asking if I needed a ride home because it was supposed to rain. I answered 'yes, please', and started gathering my things to head home for the day. As I got ready to leave the room, I hesitated in the doorframe. 

   Did I make the right choice?  

   Yes. As much as I missed Drew, and Henry, and Liam... I had no regrets in joining the club. 

   The only regrets I had were that I couldn't belong to both sides of the story.  

   I stepped out of the music room and walked down the empty hallways, trying to somehow leave my loud thoughts behind me. 

A/N: Hi everyone! Sorry it took me so long to finish the 2nd chapter. School started up again literally as soon as I posted the first chapter, and I've been struggling to get into a good homework routine. If you follow my Avian journal, you probably know that I was also banned from being on any form of technology for a few days because I had so much missing work, and that's another reason I wasn't able to post. Trust me, I haven't been losing motivation to write. I've just been busy, and I DID mention that I don't really plan on having a strict update schedule because I'll never get anything done TvT 

Anyways, hope you enjoyed! Sorry this chapter is a bit shorter, I was rushing a bit.