I am not a ghost,
I am that very floating shadow behind everyone's tail end.
Have you ever felt like a shadow.
When you walk, the shadow runs;
When you talk, the shadow stays in the depth of silence;
There is no cigarette,
But the smoke lingers and it makes a dark misty fog in the window,
Of every aching house.
The cloud is up,
And you are up,
And you can see clearly,
The white cloud instantly turns into gray;
It is raining,
On the other side of town,
But here, it does not;
Your mouth is peeling dry,
And it has a big yeast sore;
You transferred the pain into your jaw;
You do not want your heart to be bleeding,
So you cut your tongue out.
In the eclipse,
The pitch dark continues to fall;
I make my ideal self perfect,
And in contrast,
I become a shadow.
And I ask the darkness,
Have you ever felt like a shadow?
When you are wide awake, the shadow closes its eyes;
You try to impersonate,
But the shadow never –
For it is at all times wickedly sincere,
So that when you smile, the shadow cries,
And when you dream, the shadow dies.
And I have always known,
When I wake up at dawn,
That this is just another day,
To kill myself.
Because I saw a crow in the branch of the penumbra tree yesterday,
I stared into its eyes,
It stared back at me;
I felt shivers,
So I dragged the crow,
And I ate its head;
My mouth was full of blood and feathers, glossy wet,
With the little spider web,
And soft bodies maggots.
It tasted just like . . . me.
So I knew, I got to understand.
That I ate it,
Because I saw my eyes in the crow's eyes;
Will you blame me?
For when the crow stared back at me, its eyes were clear in the darkest coal,
And mine was blind as the shadow's owl.
If only the crow was a silhouette, it would be Caladrius,
And I would not have to be afraid,
Of my own reflection;
The mammoth's footsteps,
Shaped the whole land;
Just like the shadow's figure,
Filled my dirty hand.
And I ask,
Have you ever felt like a shadow?
And the lifeless crow answered.
For when the alive asks, the dead responds.
I am a fleeting ghost,
Or should I say –
A fleeting shadow,
With no face at all.
