TAMING THE FIRE [PUBLISHED UNDER IMMAC PPH]

CHAPTER 40: Infernal Wounds

“Oh, Zendaya, how are you? It’s been a while since our last session. How can I help you today?”

I took a deep breath and began sharing with Dr. Bautista, my therapist, the recent events that have been happening to me in the past few days.

“I think you should consider talking to him,” she suggested after hearing me.

Frowning, I replied, “No, Doc, I won’t talk to that cheater. I would rather die.”

I heard her sigh. “Zendaya, honey,  I understand that facing your ex is challenging, but it might be worth considering having a conversation with him,” she said in a gentle voice. “Seeking closure can sometimes be an important step in moving forward. Express your thoughts and emotions, ask the questions lingering in your mind, and let him know how his actions have affected you,” she explained.

She then delved further into detailing how engaging in a conversation with my ex could contribute to my progress and emotional healing.

“I understand, Zendaya. It won’t be easy, but confronting the pain is often the only way to overcome it.”

After talking to Dr. Bautista, I reached out to Hans, expressing my apologies for leaving without a proper goodbye. I was so worried, but he reassured me that it was okay and wished me well.

“You two are still here?” I asked, spotting Mama G and Crisanta enjoying a meal in the kitchen.

“Madam!” sigaw ni Crisanta. “Kain!” aya niya sa ‘kin.

I smiled at her. “Thank you, Crisanta, but I’ll just have a coffee,” I told her. “By the way, what are you guys still doing here?” tanong ko sa kanila saka kinuha ang paboritong mug ko at nagsimulang magtimpla ng kape na iinumin ko.

“How could we leave when we know you’re not okay?” sabi ni Mama G. “Ano ba talagang nangyari, Zendaya? Ano? May ginawa ba sa ‘yo ‘yung Hans na ‘yon? Sabihin mo,” aniya pa.

“He didn’t do anything to me,” sabi ko naman.

“Ano’ng nangyari kung gano’n?”

Sighing, I started recounting the events, including my discussion with Dr. Bautista earlier that morning.

“I agree with that Dr. Bautista. I think you should really talk to him,” sabi ni Mama G nang matapos ako. “Hindi naman kasi puwedeng umalis at lumayo ka na naman para lang hindi mo na siya makita ulit at hindi mo na maalala iyon. Mas lalong hindi puwedeng burahin mo siya sa mundong ‘to.”

Taking a sip of my drink, I wiped my mouth with a tissue before speaking. “No, I don’t need it,” sabi ko naman. “Let’s not discuss about him anymore, please. I no longer want to remember him,” pagpapatuloy ko pa.

“Alright,” she said. “Let’s just talk about you and Hans. You guys are all over the internet. People are claiming you two are dating.”

Hindi na ako nagulat pa nang sabihin niya iyon.

“What are we going to do?” tanong pa ni Mama G.

With a sigh, I responded, “Deny it and let them know we’re not dating; we’re just friends.”

Though I was aware that people will believe what they choose to, regardless of my statement.

“Uy, ang ganda ng OOTD mo, Madam,” sambit ni Crisanta habang kumakain ng cereal nang lumabas ako ng kwarto at makita niya ako.

I smiled. “It is, right?” I replied.

Tumango naman siya. “Oo,” anito saka sumubo. “Gawa ba ‘yan noong Miss Cat?” tanong niya habang may laman ang bibig.

I nodded in agreement. “Yes,” I replied, then glanced at myself in the mirror. “She’s so good. No wonder she became famous quickly. She’s a talented fashion designer,” I added.

It’s been a week since I signed a contract with a known skincare brand. Ngayong araw gaganapin ang photoshoot ko with them, kaya naman maaga akong gumising at naghanda.

“Ang ganda ng damit mo, Zendaya. Bagay na bagay sa ‘yo, pati iyong kulay.”

I turned to Mama G, who just came out of the comfort room, and smiled. “Thanks, Ma,” I thanked her.

“Ang ganda rin ng bag mo. Type ko,” she commented and walked towards me, taking my bag to examine it.

“You can have that later after I use it,” I told her. “I don’t really like it that much. I mean, it’s beautiful but not my style. I only chose to use that bag because of its color. It matches the color of my outfit today,” I explained.

Her brows furrowed in confusion. “If it’s not your type, then why did you buy it?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t buy that,” I clarified. “It was a gift for me.”

“Ah, okay,” sabi pa niya. Pagkatapos ay tumingin siya sa relo niya. “Late na pala tayo. Tara na.”

I nodded. Then, we headed to the studio. When we arrived there, I exchanged greetings with the owner. After that, I apologized to him because we were late. He reassured me that it’s fine and then he instructed the professional makeup artist to begin working on my look.

“Is that your child?” I asked the makeup artist while looking at the little girl playing with Crisanta.

“Opo, Ms. Zendaya,” sagot naman nito habang abala siya sa kilay ko.

I nodded and started asking about her child. While listening to her answer, a wave of sadness washed over me, remembering the child I almost had three years ago but lost to a miscarriage. If circumstances had been different, my child would likely be the same age as the makeup artist’s.

Once the makeup was complete, the artist moved on to my hair. With a simple brush and the addition of silver hair clips, she enhanced the look. After that, I put on the outfit for the photoshoot, and then we started taking pictures.

“Turn your head to the side and slightly open your mouth.”

Following the photographer’s direction, I shifted my gaze sideways, parted my lips slightly, all while holding the product.

“Perfect. Now, look at the camera and give us a smile.”

He continued guiding me through various poses, capturing enough shots before wrapping up the session.

“Hello,” I greeted, smiling at the makeup artist’s daughter.

She didn’t speak and simply pointed at my head.

“Oh, you want my hair clip?” I asked, pointing to the clips.

The child nodded.

“Okay,” I said, removing the clips from my hair. Placing them in the child’s hair, I exclaimed, “There! You look pretty!”

The child giggled. “Pretty?” she asked, tilting her head.

I nodded. “Yes, you are pretty.”

“Zendaya!”

Turning, I acknowledged the brand owner who called out to me. “Hey,” I greeted with a smile.

“I’ve seen your pictures, and all I can say is . . . wow!” he exclaimed. “Now I understand why everyone is eager to work with you, and I feel lucky to have had the opportunity,” he added.

“Come on, cut it out,” I responded, smiling.

“Oh, and by the way, what’s happening between you and Hans? You’re all over the internet. Are you two dating?” he bombarded me with questions, intrigued.

I shook my head. “No, we’re not dating. We’re just friends,” I clarified.

He nodded. “Ah, got it,” he said. “But you two look good together. Maybe you should give it a try,” he suggested.

Continuing ourt conversation, my growing hunger finally took over, causing me to bid him farewell.

“Saan tayo kakain?” Mama G asked while driving.

“Uh—”

“Kahit saan na lang, Ma,” sagot ni Crisanta bago pa ako makapagsalita. “Gutom na talaga ako, e,” dagdag pa niya.

I nodded. “Yeah, anywhere works. I’m starving too,” I added.