I woke up, my breathing strained and my body weak as I came to my senses. As my eyes just barely opened, I could see the light that flooded the room, the sun slowly seeping in through the white curtains that thinly veiled the window.
But despite the warm hue of the sun, the more awake I became the more I realized how cold I was. As I curled into my blankets, I suddenly felt a warm object and moved closer to it. And in return, my heat source pulled me in gently. My tired eyes opened slowly as I looked up, my nose brushing Taurus'.
"You're awake" remarked Taurus as he felt my forehead.
My mind caught up poorly to the situation as I stared up at him, utterly confused and lost. "I'll get you to take some more of these antibiotics here."
My eyes widened slightly and my head turned as I attempted to take in my surroundings. I was in a white shirt and black sweatpants—any cuts or scrapes accumulated from the night before treated and bandaged. And from what I could tell, I wasn't at Gray Blood anymore.
I was in Taurus' room.
I tried my best to remember the previous night, but all I knew was I went to the border and Taurus found me and I had fainted from my fever. I looked back at Taurus as he leaned over the night stand, rummaging around for something.
I watched him closely, his broad shoulders and strong chest shirtless, scars scattered across his lower back like shooting stars. And as Taurus' waist turned slightly back to me, I caught sight of the rigid v-line that poked out from his black sweatpants. A white bandage ran up from his abdomen to the middle of his stomach and another covered half of his left shoulder. My eyes wandered up his back and I staggered as I caught sight of a set of scars that started at his shoulders and ran down his back.
My scars.
Those were my scars that I left.
I tipped forward instinctively, but Taurus turned back to me and I paused as he handed me a glass of water and two large pills.
"Dr. Sam said to take these twice a day."
I grabbed the pills and swallowed them along with the water.
"How long have I been asleep for?" I asked as I handed the glass back to him.
"Just the night" said Taurus as he placed the cup back on the table. "I took you home in the evening and it's about ten o'clock now."
"I-I've been here that long?" I managed quickly. "Does Dr. Jay and Jason know? Does... does..."
I stopped as my thoughts came together.
Does Damian know?
I paused.
Would he even care now?
I felt the pit in my stomach widen at the question.
"I called both of them" reassured Taurus. "Jay was just happy that you hadn't fainted somewhere alone and Jason wants to come pick you up as soon as he can. He's quite anxious about it all but Jay said it would be best for you to stay in one place for the night since your fever got so bad."
"That makes sense" I agreed absently.
I felt guilt swell in my chest as I thought of the stress I had put them through. It felt like all they did recently was worry about me.
"And they told me that they were glad at least that you could finally sleep."
"Yeah, I haven't been getting that much sleep lately..." I admitted quietly.
"I suppose it has to do with Damian?"
My cheeks reddened and Taurus laughed softly.
"I figured he'd be mad after the stunt I pulled."
I looked up at Taurus at the mention of the fight, my expression beginning to pull into a tired scowl as he teased me. But as I looked at Taurus, I noticed the scar on his eyebrow from the fight and I paused, my face softening as I remembered what had happened.
I reached up instinctively and traced it with my thumb, taking him off guard. But as he studied me, Taurus' eyes softened and he brushed my hair back.
"You know I would never treat you like that" he said softly.
I paused for a moment as Taurus' eyes flickered with a new emotion.
"Treat me like what?" I uttered—my chest tightening.
"Ignore you. Neglect you."
"How do you know if he-"
"It only took me seconds to see how sick you were" he said quickly. "Your mate should be able to tell Instantly and it's obvious you've been sick for too long—but you went to a dangerous border fight anyways just to see if he would be there."
"Don't..." I began, my tired mind trying to keep up with him.
"Damian hasn't been taking care of you. The moment he left with you, I knew he wouldn't. He was too angry over something you had no control over."
No control over?
It was the first time I came across the notion that the kiss wasn't my fault—but I felt the guilt in my chest build at the mention of it.
"That's not true" I replied quietly. "I could have stopped it. I've fought people off before."
Taurus laughed.
"You really think you could've fought me?"
I scowled at the tease in his eyes.
"Well I could have done something" I bursted. "If only I had... i-if only I had..."
"If only you had what?" Jeered Taurus. "Pulled away from me? Fought me?"
Taurus suddenly pinned me down and straddled me, his eyes holding a new and rough intensity as he pushed my back into the mattress—making it impossible for me to move.
"Taurus!" I burst as my cheeks lit red.
"What are you going to do, hm? Tell me what Damian wanted you to do. He wants you to push me off?" Taurus' hold tightened and his one hand pushed my wrists into the mattress as he leaned down, pressing against me.
"Let me up!" I cried as I struggled.
"Is it your fault that you can't push me off?" He taunted as he lifted my chin with his other hand. "Did we kiss because you didn't try hard enough to pull away or take control of the situation?"
Taurus grazed my lips as I faltered.
"Or is it because I wanted you so bad I didn't give a fuck if your mate was storming down that hallway to kill me?"
Taurus kissed me and I realized it didn't matter if I tried to prevent this. Taurus wanted me enough that he was willing to bear the blame as long as it meant he could have me again. Even if it was a just for a moment. Even if it was just for one more kiss.
Taurus deepened the kiss and I gasped as his hand slipped under my shirt and grazed my feverish bare skin. He pulled back slightly, his hungry eyes pure black as they met mine.
"Stay with me, Alec."
My chest swelled as I stared up at Taurus, my eyes pleading for mercy as my confusion tore into my raw emotions. My memories with Taurus came flooding back to me in a split second like a high speed collision and I felt myself become a casualty all over again. I remembered all the way from when I first met Taurus at the back staircase up until I was taken away from him and ended up in the hands of Damian.
Damian.
It always came back to Damian and my answer came out in a sharp and broken whisper.
"I'm sorry."
Taurus' eyes softened and he knew everything I'd ever need to say.
"I can't."
I choose Damian.
Even if it's too late.
"I know" he whispered. "Ever since I let Beta Jason take you from me that night, I knew what your answer would be."
His head dipped down to my neck as he paused.
"I wish I would've met you earlier" admitted Taurus. "Early enough that by the time you met Damian I would've already marked you. Then I would have had no choice but to step up for you."
I rested my chin on his shoulder and Taurus' arms tightened.
"If only we were human" he breathed against my skin, my eyes squeezing shut.
And with that, it was over.
Taurus pulled back slightly as a knock came at the door.
"Alpha Taurus, they're here for Alec" came a voice from the other side.
Taurus looked down at me again as he pulled back.
"Shall we?" Asked Taurus.
His eyes held warmth but they flickered briefly with something that I would never be able to understand. I held onto the look in his eyes for a moment more and I let it go for the last time.
I nodded nervously and Taurus helped me up.
He steadied me as I stood, making sure that my fever hadn't taken too much of a toll on me, and led the way out of the room and through the pack house. I knew the type of scolding Jason was about to give me and I sighed as I prepared my apology. But I knew that after this, I was going right back to looking for Damian. I didn't mind apologizing to Jason a hundred times, as long as it meant I got to see Damian again.
"I hate goodbyes, but it makes it easier knowing I've got you reserved for your next life" teased Taurus suddenly as we came down the hall to the entrance.
"That's still a long time away" I pointed out jokingly.
Taurus shrugged as we made it to the front door.
"You're worth the wait."
My cheeks reddened and Taurus laughed at me.
"You'd better hope there really is a second life, then" I sighed as he placed his hand on the door knob.
Taurus laughed softly as he looked away.
"There fucking better be."
With that, Taurus opened the front door to the pack house and we stepped out onto the porch. My eyes adjusted to the outside light and I peeked out from behind Taurus, looking at the man that angrily talked to one of the Burning Tree members. I froze immediately.
That wasn't Jason.
Damian turned to us as he heard the door open, his eyes pure black and his jaw clenched, an expression of pure anger seething from him.
My world halted as we locked eyes.
He stormed over immediately, the man he was talking to calling after him. But it was too late and Taurus intercepted him quickly as if expecting this from the beginning.
Damian slammed him into the side of the pack house, both of them furious as they struggled.
"How dare you fucking take him!" seethed Damian.
"I wouldn't have had him if you didn't leave him" Snapped Taurus. "You wouldn't take care of your mate, so I did!"
A member quickly broke between them and Damian grabbed my hand and pulled me quickly down to the car.
"Ow—Damian, wait!"
Damian put me in the car and I looked back.
Taurus watched me as we sped off down the driveway, his expression pinched into a scowl as he was forced to watch me be taken from him for the last time.
And with that, we were gone.
"For fuck sakes, Alec" hissed Damian quietly.
"Damian, I'm sorry—"
"Quit, Alec" snapped Damian.
I froze at his anger, my stomach twisting as we sped down the gravel road.
"But I just—" I uttered, stunned.
"Alec, this is as nice as I'm going to fucking get about this" warned Damian.
"You haven't been nice about any of this" I managed quietly. I turned to him. "Ever since Taurus kissed me, you—"
Damian suddenly slammed on the brakes and I froze as he pulled me to him.
"And what about this time?" He thundered. "What did he do to you this time when I wasn't there to take you from him?"
I opened my mouth to say "nothing" but I paused as I remembered Taurus' kiss.
But unable to wait for my answer, Damian ripped down the collar of my shirt, his hand tilting my chin up as he searched me.
"I'm surprised he didn't mark you" he said coldly.
My eyebrows furrowed and my sadness tinged with hurt frustration.
"I wouldn't have let—"
"I don't want to hear it."
"Then what am I doing in this car right now? Why come back for me at all if—"
"Because you're my mate!" he shot.
"Sorry about that" I muttered.
"Don't fucking start" he warned, provoking my gaze to drop.
Damian pulled back, and I peered up, his eyes cold as his jaw clenched.
"Did he fuck you?"
"No."
"Don't waste my time, he was all over you."
I scowled as I looked up at him fully.
"No, we di—"
"You're lying" he snapped.
"Damian, I'm not lying we didn't—"
"It wouldn't be the first time so what's stopping you now?"
"Because I want you, Damian! That's what stopped me!" I snapped, the hurt seeping into my voice as tears pricked my eyes. "I could have done it and I didn't! You left me after breaking it off, but I still didn't do it!"
"I didn't—"
"And why would you be mad about it? You rejected me!"
"I didn't reject you!"
"Yes you did! And over something that I didn't even want to do!"
"I didn't reject you, Alec!"
"Well thats not what it looked like! That's not what it felt like!"
"Alec—"
I opened the door and shot out of the car, shifting and fleeing into the forest.
"Don't— Alec!"
•••
A/N: thought I'd do a quick authors note and check on everyone, sorry I posted this chapter so late I just really wanted to tweak it to make it right. I hope ya'll have been staying hydrated and what not. We're officially getting closer to the end of the book and I'm gonna do a bonus material chapter full of short stories/scenes at the end so let me know if there's any characters or background stuff that you would be interested in knowing and I'll see if I can write something uwu
Anyways, I inserted this note after I posted this chap so some people might not see it, my bad lol.
