Delicate (Jikook)

My Inspiration

Park Jimin's pov..

I try to slowly glide the brush against the canvas.

Up and down, hoping to create the prettiest ocean I could possibly paint.

I exhale shakily.

Though I love painting, It isn't helping my mind distract from other things.

It usually calms me down.

But my mind is running so fast. Too fast.

My hands start to shake a little, causing the brush to go too far up on the canvas, over the other colors...

Ruining it all completely.

I become furious now.

Grabbing the canvas and throwing it out of spite.

Why isn't it working?

Why isn't even this working?

Why does my mind keep thinking about him?

I stand up and pace the room.

Covering my face with both hands as I try to make it stop..

To make these thoughts go away.

I don't WANT to feel like this.

I just want... "I just want.." I whisper to myself as I slowly sit down on the floor.

Tears falling quickly.

"I just want to go back in time...and..." I trail off as I see the paining on my wall. One I hung up in the very middle so I can see it every single time I walk in here.

Jungkook, I painted him weeks ago.

Reading the words, "It Is Always You." On it...

"Jungkook!" I yell, hoping he can hear me.

I continue to pout as I look at my canvas with barely anything on it.

I open my mouth to shout his name again, but he walks in.

"Yes, Jimin..? Here, I made you hot chocolate."

I smile and thank him as I take the cup.

"What are you painting today?" He asks while taking a seat in front of me.

This question reminds me of how lost I've been with this painting, and I immediately frown again. "I do not know today. I feel stuck."

"Hmm...paint what feels right, in the moment. Right now, Jimin, what feels right?"

I then feel my heart race, and butterflies all in my stomach.

You.

"You," I whisper.

He smiles, so genuinely and sweet it makes me giggle.

"Okay, then. Go ahead and paint something that represents us."

"Oh! That's a great idea!" I say, happily grabbing a new canvas.

But I won't paint just anything.

I'm painting you, Jungkook.

Because I said that YOU feel right.

And your smile...I always appreciate your smiles.

So since you're smiling now, I'll capture it my way.

"If there's ever anyone that can be so beautiful and creative, its you, Jimin...it is always you..."

I quickly look into his eyes, but I don't smile anymore.

Jungkook...

It's moments like this when you take my breath away, that makes me feel even deeper for you..

Just when I think it's impossible to fall deeper in love with you...

I do it.

But I wish I'd allow myself to feel this way for you...

"Thank you for helping me find the inspiration, Jungkook..."

Thank you for being my inspiration.

The words It Is Always You, were so beautiful to me.

So meaningful.

Sometimes Jungkook was just, too good.

Too good to be true.

Too good, for me.

I walk over to the picture and continue to cry as I examine his painted face.

Even on paint he looks, perfect.

How could I have chased you away, Jungkook?

Did I ruin it?

Did I ruin it from the beginning for making you make that stupid promise?

Because I was insecure.

I've always felt as if I didn't deserve something so good, because it wasn't real.

"Great things always come to an end."

Nothing lasts forever, and I've always thought that way...

But perhaps thinking that way is ruining my chances.

My chances at anything good.

My chances at happiness.

I wipe my tears and back away slowly.

No.

I refuse to lose you, Jungkook.

Everything eventually comes to an end.

But I refuse to let us be over.