Dan Howell // imagines

Little birdy

By findmeatthebottomoftheocean on tumblr.

Word Count: 1,725 words.

Rating: fighting, kissing.

----

You breathed a sigh of relief as you'd finally finished unpacking the last of my clothes. You had just moved in with Dan, you're boyfriend of four years, and Phil, his housemate. Phil was practically like your brother, and you loved him exactly like one. Dan on the other hand was the love of your life, and you knew you could never love someone as much as you loved him.

Giggling at the memory of the night Dan had stuttered through asking you to move in with him, you lifted yourself off the ground.Your knees popped at the new pressure but you just continued to walk to the living room. He was trying to set the camera up so he could make a new video, and he looked extremely flustered.You kissed his cheek lightly as you helped him adjust it so that it would stay.
"Thank you," he breathed before giving you a peck on the cheek.
"What are you doing?" it was a stupid question but you were just trying to make conversation. You hated upacking and so you'd already been bored for a solid three hours, not to mention left alone.
"Sorry babe, can't talk. I haven't made a video in almost a month," he quickly explained, giving you a kiss to show that he really was sorry.
"S'okay, I'll just find something else to do," you smiled, not being hurt at all. You'd known from the moment you met Dan that he was very dedicated to his fans, to his career. Walking back to your room, you searched for your favorite book.
The spine was a little worn from being opened so many times, but you kept it in great condition. Wanting to have this book for as long as you lived, you were very passionate about reading. It took you away from the troubling place you'd called home as a child.
You were half-way through the book, still crying at all the same parts, still smiling and laughing at all the cute little things. It always amazed Dan how you could read that same book over fifty times and still be captivated by the first sentence. Re-reading your favorite lines, though you knew them by heart, was something he loved watching you do.
The bed dropped a little next to you as your eyes grew wide and you started reading faster as the plot began unraveling. Waving the tap you felt on your shoulder off, you tried to focus on the unbecoming of all you loved in the book.
The book shut just as the author was about to unveil every little detail that made no sense to you the first time you read it.
"Hey! I was reading that!" you shouted, Dan knew how much you loved books yet he still always did that.
"But I want to talk to you," he whined, making you sigh.
"I thought you were making a video," the words came out sharp, though you weren't even mad.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Dan sassed, standing from the bed. You didn't know what was happening but you could feel your adrenaline began to run, you never knew why, but when someone was mad at you, you instantly said such idiotic things that sometimes didn't make sense. Just things you knew would hurt them.
"You care more about your fans than you do me. You care about the people that hate me for loving you more than you care about me. That's what that's supposed to mean," you stated coldly, raising from the bed.
"What's your problem?! You know that's not true!" he defended, growing angrier by the millisecond.
"Then why do I feel it is. Better yet, why do I have to put away what I love doing when you don't have to?" you placed your hands on your hips, gaining the teenager stance that you'd mastered during your rebellious years, years that Dan always you teased you about.
"What are you even talking about?!" he hollered.
"Why do I have to stop reading because you want attention, when you won't even answer a fucking question because you're making a video?!" you screamed back, now aggravated for no reason what-so-ever.

"Because reading doesn't matter! Making videos is my job, meanwhile you're just sitting on your lazy ass, bawling your fucking eyes out over a stupid fucking character that doesn't even exist and you already know what's going to happen to! God, you're just a worthless skank!" he yelled, before marching out of your room, and out of the apartment.
"You fucker!" you raged at nothing, the door had already slammed and Phil was out on a date. Slowly, very, very slowly, you let what just happened sink in. Dan walked out. Dan yelled at you. Dan called you lazy. Dan told you what you loved didn't matter. And you told him that his videos didn't matter. You told him that he didn't care about you. You let him leave. All because your voice came out harsher than intended, and you couldn't fucking control your emotions.

A single tears dropped down your cheek, but it was exactly like that sprinkle before the storm. As soon as that tiny tear touched your lip, you started bawling. Dropping to the floor, you let the sobs rack your body. Why did you have to be so stupid? If you could have just fucking told him it was a mistake! He'd still be here! You two could be cuddled on the couch!
Hugging your knees tightly to your chest, you just laid there on the floor, thinking about what a fuck up you were. After an hour or so, the tears were falling slowly, again, as you grew numb. A tear every once in awhile. A hiccup every minute or so. For the most part, however, you were silent.
The apartment door opened, but you couldn't be bothered to get up. You just didn't want to, didn't want to have to face him yet. As someone began to climb the stairs, you realized it wasn't Dan. The footsteps were too light to be Dan's. They were Phil's.
"I'm home!" Phil called, flinging open your bedroom door. His breath caught in his throat at the sight oh you laying in fetal position, two feet from the side of the bed. In Dan's shirt and some leggings that you'd thrown on this morning. He ran to your side and pulled you into a hug as your sobs came back full force. "What happened?" he pried in a hushed tone.
When you calmed down, you told him about how you and Dan had got into a fight, how it was all a mistake that you were to stupid to admit, and about the horrible things you said. "The worst part," you began, "is that he called me a worthless skank. It wouldn't hurt me if it was someone else, I mean, I used to it. Used to being told how useless I am by everyone, but coming from Dan. I-it - It hurt so much," you began to wail again.
Phil began to rub your back, knowing it soothed you, before he began to speak. "You know he didn't mean it," he whispered.
"He looked like he did," you replied meekly.
"Why would he mean it? You should hear some of the things he says about you. I can never get him to shut up! He's always talking about how your eyes are the most perfect shade of (Y/E/C), and how you have the most perfect smile. How you're absolutely perfect in every way imaginable. Or, my absolute favorite, how he knew that he loved you from the second you spoke," he smiled, fake gagging every here and there.
"Really?" you smiled. "He said that?"
"Oh god, he never shuts up about it!" Phil whined, giggling at you. You took your bottom lip between your teeth, thinking about this for a second.
"Thank you, Phil," you sighed, wrapping your arms around you neck. Right then, you heard the apartment door open and a familiar sigh was heard bouncing around the walls. "Do I look okay?" Phil nodded and you hugged him once more before bounding down the stairs.
"Look, (Y/N), about what I-" his explanation was cut short as you jumped onto him, literally. Wrapping your legs around his waist, making him back into the front door, you smashed your lips together. He was surprised at first, but began to kiss back with the same amount of passion.
"I'm. So. So. Sorry. About. Earlier," you apologized, emphasizing each word with a kiss.
"Me too," he breathed, pulling away for a second. You kissed him once more before you jumped down. Dan whined a little but you knew it was just playful.
"I don't know what I was saying, or why I said it. I know that your very dedicated to your fans and I respect that. I don't even care about that. I guess, I just took out my anger from the author on you..." you trailed, staring at the ground.
"I don't even care. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I'm such a wanker. I feel terrible! I know how much you love that book, what it's got you through. I actually find it absolutely adorable how worried you get about every word," he explained. "And under no circumstances, what-so-ever, are you a worthless skank. I don't know why I said that, I was angry but that doesn't give me the right to yell at the person I love."
"S'okay. I was a little upset at first, but a little birdy told me that you thought I was perfect in every way possible," you smirked, pressing your lips to his again.
"I don't think, I know," he smiled, picking you up bridal style and heading for the bedroom. He took your leggings off and stripped himself down to his boxers, but you both knew nothing was going to happen that night. He quickly climbed into bed, pulling the sheets over both of you and turning to bring your back into his front.
Sighing in content, you slowly let yourself drift into sleep. The last thing you heard before slipping into complete unconsciousness was Dan saying, "Thanks, mate."
To which Phil responded with, "No problem."

Phil was the best little birdy.

_____

I cried bc of this omf, and it didnt help that second hand serenade was playing in the background omf.