Tainted Love

I Can't Go

Chapter 47

It took me 3 minutes to run to the plaza hotel and find Caleb. I banged on his door until I broke it off the hinges just as Caleb was about to open the door.

"Dear Lord tell me she didn't break up with you".

"Lilith sent her to the pit! Evelyn is in the pit!"

"What!?"

"Literally turned around for 2 seconds and Lilith kidnapped her! We have to go get her! We have to let all of heaven know! This is it! This is how the world ends!"

Caleb grab me by the shirt and pulled me into his room as he put the door back in place. "I really hope you're being dramatic and not literal".

"Lilith literally did that! We have to save her!" I said holding up our passports.

"You're just going to hop on a flight to Antarctica and start digging once you hint the center? Do we actually know that Lilith took Evelyn and put her in the pit. How do you know that she's not I don't know on the other side of town?"

"Because Lilith is a vindictive bitch!" I shouted,"She wants to punish me".

"She'll be punishing herself as she did that. Where is Damion?"

"I don't know, he left me to watch her. I really did just turn around for a second to get my shoes because I was going to take her home so she could spend Christmas with her grandma. 2 seconds and she was gone. I fucked up...I fucked up bad...".

"You did not do this. Lilith did this. But you cannot descend into the pit to find her. It's noble, brave and it will permanently damn you to hell", before I could yell I didn't care Caleb stopped me,"Before we make a rash permanent unfixable non-redeeming mistake. Think first. Heaven is not going to let Evelyn stay in the pit. In fact I will go now and alert them. I need you to give Heaven time. If we sound this alarm and go forward there is no coming back not just for us but mankind".

"She's in Hell! I don't care about mankind! I care about Evelyn! I'm going to save her. Are you on board? Because I'll do it myself! I'll damn myself again."

"Ryan, no!"

"I'm not going to let Evelyn end up like Sister Serena. Heaven has failed relics before---"

"I beg you. Please do not repeat history. I want to get Evelyn back just as much as you. I don't want her to suffer in the pit. But I can also see there was an entire planet of people who will suffer and die if we do this wrong. Let Heaven assemble the archangels to go get her---"

"And how isn't that a direct attack from heaven? She's not on the edge of hell she's in the pit! And I'm going. Heaven can do whatever it wants to me. I'm not going to fail Evelyn twice! Do what you have to do. But I'm not going to lose her. You don't want to come that's fine".

"It's not that I don't want to go it's I can't go".

"Heaven doesn't care what a bunch of Fallen do. If anything we're doing them a favor".

Caleb signed heavily but clearly frustrated,"I can't Ryel. We have been together since the fall. You are my brother and I followed you as such. I know in my heart you and Flynn can be redeemed and we can all go back to heaven. But I cannot follow you into the pit. I will not jeopardize mankind and risk our brothers and sisters in arms. I want you to understand I do care about Evelyn. And what I can do I will. But will not follow you into the pit the stakes are too high for that kind of devotion".

I wanted to lash out at Caleb. I wanted to call him every name in the book and punch him until his head fell off. But instead of letting my emotions immediately control me I really listen to what he said for the first time inprobably my existence. And a realization hit me harder than a freight truck. Everything started to make sense. Everything I just took for granted or blew off about Caleb finally clicked in me, "You're... You're not Fallen".

Caleb shook his head no.

"There's never been a secret connection to Heaven have you?"

"No".

I had a lot of questions. But none of them mattered. Caleb was always good, always the one to clean up after Flynn and I. He was the glue that held us together, the friend we needed, the voice of reason, a brother who loved us endlessly. He's always been that way no matter how much Flynn and I took from him.

I didn't know what to say. I don't know when Caleb was redeemed or if he was ever Fallen. But he has suffered every event in from the fall to human existence with me. I hugged him surprising both of us. This may be the last time I see him. But I wanted him to know,"Thank you for putting up with us. If this is the last time I see you... Every decision I made was mine and you've stood by me for every failure. I know you can't go to the pit. And I will never side with hell, but I cannot leave Evelyn. If this is the biggest mistake I make...if this is it for me. I'm not going to drag you down with me. This is my choice".

"I know", Caleb said hugging me back. "I know it's your choice. But I cannot abandon you. I will go to heaven and tell them everything. I fear you'll be trapped down there for all of eternity. If you open the pit you could unleash all the hell's armies onto mankind. If any angel steps foot in hell  it will start a war. My greatest fear is once I tell heaven they will just seal the pit trapping you both down there for all of eternity. There will be no escape. You will be forever cut off... From everything".

"I know. And I know it's selfish, but I would still risk it".

We pulled away from each other. I finally saw Caleb as he truly was. Not just my brother or another fallen, but a real angel. "I will report to Heaven and meet you at the gate of the pit. I will hold it open for as long as I can. I will not let any demons or hell spawn escape".

"Thank you, Caleb... for everything".

"If you mean that you will wait for me at the gate. If you let me alert heaven I will take you there quicker than any plane could".

"I will wait".

Even though it would eat me away like acid I will wait.