if i stayed with you, it hurt
if you left, it hurt
when i tried to leave, it hurt
so what was i supposed to do
I guess I see myself in many characters and many other people
I just wanted you to love me as I did you, I gave you everything.
My whole soul, my firsts, my body and my heart.
"Was it worth it to be happy for some time if it meant it was going to be sad at the end?"
the answer to that is no.
No amount of happiness can give me back the weeks spent crying and overthinking about you.
Your lies, secrets.
He lied to me about girls, where he was at, what he was doing.
But its my fault?
How can you give up on a friendship of pure love?
All I wanted was to love you. That's all i ever did. And I listened.
As I once said,
I told you I'd love you forever,
so here I am.
i hate all the relationships i've been in where we have actually been in love.
but its all I ever wanted.
To match pj's with someone, cuddle, meet their parents.
I want all of that.
To wear his jersey and go out on dates and not be afraid of him leaving.
What does she have that I don't where she gets that?
Is she much prettier? My friends say she isn't.
Does she laugh harder at your jokes? I was always giggling and smiling around you.
Was her body better? I tried to change mine for you.
But after 2 years I ended it
The first time we spoke was days before the biggest event.
The apparent last time was 2 years later, days before the event.
I hope I'll get over you, its not easy to get over someone that destroyed you, that you destroyed yourself over.
I hope you text me happy birthday, it's in less then a month.
After everything, it's the least I deserve.
But most importantly, I deserve someone new.
Someone willing to cross oceans for me as I them.
Someone cute and funny and tall and someone that puts me first.
Because at the end,
I hate love
but
its all i ever really wanted.
my writing doesnt do the old us half the justice it deserves. you were my oxygen tank, so i needed you. what i really needed was to get my head above the pool water. you were my floatie, i needed you to survive. what i actually needed was the realize the water was only 2 feet deep and I should probably stand up.
but even so, i would rather drown with you then breathe without you. your touch was warmth and the first while without you will be nothing but misery. i was drowning and so were you but the thought that both of us were drowning together helped. i can say im over you but my dreams will always tell the truth.
