Murder drones oneshots i think idk

N x reader shitpost for my gf

HELLOO!!!!
made this for my gf since she requested a N x reader, but I wanna put in as much effort into it as possible (which will take time), so I made a shit post as an apology for the long wait she'll have to endure :((

TAGS:

Shitpost

N x female reader

hinted sex

Swearing

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You are a murder drone, a female murder drone, in fact. To make it short, there aren't a lot of drones, you know, considering your team just randomly disappeared one day.

You get bored on your landing pod's computer system one night at 3am, when you find an ad that says "hot single murder drones in your area"
You being the horny bastard(/j) you are, you click on it the second your eyes meet the ad.

The website loads, and you spammed with ads. The sight angers you, but you get rid of them nonetheless. Once the ads are cleared, you see a neatly set up dating app for murder drones.
You were expecting something bad after you clicked the ad, like an IP grabber that would send a nuclear bomb to your house or some bullshit like that.

You scroll through the website for a while, but nobody interests you. Until you find a profile of a guy named N. You swipe right and sweat bullets as you wait for a notification. You get a ping on your phone, saying you were matched with N. He sent you a text just saying stuff like "Hello", "How are you", sweet stuff like that. You expected some weird shit like "Hey, bbg, let's esex🫶", so it was a nice change of pace. You text him for a few hours and immediately become attached to him. You realize it's 6am, and you face call him before you head off to bed. He responds, and you see the sweet murder drone, who now had messy hair since he was in bed, and his pilot hat was off. You talk for a bit, and eventually, he asks you something

"Hey, Y/N... I have a question." - N

"Oh, okay. Shoot." - y/n

"I know it's only been a few hours, but.. do you wanna make this an official thing? Sorry if I'm weird or anything." - N

He had blush marks on his visor, and you did too after he asked that. You immediately said yes, and after you said goodnight and you exchanged "I love you's" for the first time.

You wake up at 12:37 pm, to a ping on your phone from N. He asked if you both could meet at your landing pod since his was a mess. You agreed and quickly got ready. He arrived at your place at 7:30 pm, and you both sat down on the pilot chairs and talked for a bit. Eventually, talking turned to kissing, which turned into... something!!! 😜

"Well.. are you okay with this?" - N

You nodded and then said, "Wrap your willy before you get silly" whilst pulling out a condom.

I'm not writing an entire sex scene, so let's say you slonked his shit silly and just leave it at that 🫃

After that, you let N sleep at your landing pod, and you both slept soundly, the end.

IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF THIS WASN'T A SHITPOST, LOSERS!!!!!!!

So anyway, you and N wake up in the morning, and you find out N is gone. So you go out of the landing pod and find N lying on the floor dead, Peter griffin style. J has her hands set to guns whilst doing the griddy on his dead body. You go back to sleep and cry the end🦐™️