Minji sat quietly on the couch. Her headache was getting better and her body wasn't as weak as before. The clouds in her brain slowly faded away. She could think much clearer. She turned the TV on with low voice. The night was still young but Hanni was nowhere near sight. She might be at her room or somewhere. Minji felt relieved somehow. She wasn't confident to face her for the first time since she was fully sober.
"Hey, you're awake?" The sudden greet startled Hanni.
"I'm sorry! Was I too loud?"
"No, no. It's fine, you're fine." She said, "I'm good now." Minji stuttered.
"Okay." Hanni stood there - no less awkward from Minji.
"Do you want something to eat?" she offered.
"No, I'm good," she nodded.
"Thanks."
"Can I sit here?"
"Suit yourself," Minji replied without looking at her.
"Minji, can we talk?" Hanni asked cautiously.
"About?"
"You."
"What about me?" She switched one channel to another. Internally fret about whatever Hanni wanted to talk about.
"Where were you?" She started with gentle tone.
Minji exhaled her breath slowly.
"I was from the bar." she said. Every cell in her body commanded her to stop, to walk away from Hanni right that second because it won't do her any good if she speak further.
"Is everything okay?"
Minji remained silent.
"You said you try to do happy things, you keep on saying sorry. I don't - I don't understand."
Minji tilted her head at the latter for a moment.
"What else did I say?"
"Incoherent words. You're having a bad dream."
Minji was beyond mentally exhausted. She didn't really remember much what happened, though she was kind of glad because of it. She wanted Hanni to stay, she wanted Hanni to understand without telling the entire horrible story about her. But she can't.
Minji sighed.
"You're right, Han. You don't deserve this. I don't deserve you." Minji stated wearily.
"I'll tell mom and dad and your parents, you don't have to put up with me any longer."
"What do you mean?" Hanni disliked the sound of it.
"I'm not good for you, Han" Minji sighed heavily.
"Just forget it okay? Well remain friends if you want."
"I can decide for myself what's good and what's not for me." Her tone increased by words.
"I'm a mess, Hanni! Don't you see it?!" Minji provoked.
"My life is a mess, I screw everything up! Why are you putting so much effort for this to work? I'm not the person you'd want to spend your life with!" She shouted.
Hanni winced watching the frustrated Minji she never saw before.
"I was diagnosed with PTSD way back then. You practically sit with a crazy person right now! Why don't you just go!?"
Seeing Hanni's reaction, Minji held herself back. She tamed away and blew out some air to calm down. Her breath was raging and her head was about to explode. Her chest constricted so tight and it was painful. Nevertheless, she didn't want to scare Hanni. If they were going to end it up right now, at least she did in the right way.
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Fanfiction"The whole idea was a mess, in fact it was stupid. To get married with someone who's practically a stranger to me was already an absurd concept. But having a child with her was another level of ridiculousness." - Kim Minji - This is Nefrofer13 origi...
