Climb Every Mountain, With You (Shubman Gill x Ishan Kishan)

Ishan takes his stand

For the past month, Ishan had only dared to follow the series against England by glancing down the scores once. Shubman had scored a bunch of 50+ scores in the ten innings. It didn't surprise him. It didn't surprise anybody.

The accompanying pictures would show Shubman looking pretty grim. No bowing.

Ishan had felt stirrings of uneasiness. But he never dared to look too closely into the newspapers. He knew there were eyes scrutinizing his gaze.

When the series had ended a couple of days back, and his parents gone out somewhere, Ishan threw his brains to the wind and decided to screw it, he was going to watch Shubman play, even if he couldn't watch him anywhere else.

He hunted for the highlights in their television and found them on his favourite channel. India was fielding during the second Test. Ishan was kind of glad Shubman was captain. They kept showing the captain in intervals. They always did.

On the field, Shubman was like nothing could affect him. His eyes always on the ball with perfect concentration, the way that was one of the things Ishan loved and admired most about him. Whether during batting or fielding, Shubman was always perfectly poised, perfectly immersed into the game.

After India's fielding ended, he opened the batting, and in no time reached his fifty. No celebration. Then his hundred.

No celebration.

No bow.

Ishan's fluid uneasiness was starting to solidify.

After India won, there was a bit from the interviews. Shubman's was of combined Man of the Match and captain.

On the field, he was seemed so normal, but during the interview, his eyes betrayed him so plainly that Ishan wondered how the world could not see it. 

How could the Presentor ask him questions about bowling changes and WTC rankings to someone whose eyes were like this?

How could you see eyes like that and not feel like the world was ending?

Ishan wondered why his own eyes hurt so much.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Just look at you." 

His father's familiarly disappointed voice made him jump out of his skin and turn. Ishan's heart sank.... the large TV was quite plainly showing Shubman talking before he received the trophy. He hadn't realized when he had moved that close to the TV. He hadn't even realized that maybe he had been longing to step through the TV, go and give Shubman a huge hug and do anything that took it to stop his eyes from looking like that.

Ishan stepped back, feeling his face burning and wishing he could just disappear.

"Look at yourself," his father said. "You have been sitting at home for a month while he's captaining and scoring tons every day. And instead of worrying how to get back into the team you are staring at him on the television. I doubt he is doing the same."

His father looked at the TV. Ishan did, too.

The team was lifting the trophy now. Shubman was handing it over to one of the youngsters, laughing with everything but his eyes.

Of course, no one would look at his eyes.

"Does he look like he is being anywhere as stupid as you?" It was his mother this time.

Something inside Ishan, something taut and fragile, snapped.

He whirled around to face his parents, forgetting his mortification, forgetting his longing, forgetting everything.

Blood pounded in his ears.

"You know, Papa, Mumma, this is the most important decision of my life, and I thought I needed your support. But I've realized that whether you support me or not, my decision is not going to change, because I've never been so sure of anything. So if you really think you can't support me through it because I can't give you a normal Indian wedding with a wife, maybe I don't need your approval. Maybe it's all right if I'm not allowed to call you my parents anymore."

And he walked out of his home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The adrenaline drained out the moment he stepped out of his house into the unnaturally rainy, windy evening.

His fingers trembled as he unblocked Shubman's number. They trembled still more when he pressed on call and held his breath.

Shubman picked up on the first ring.

"Ishan?"

A prayer. That was the way Shubman took his name.

"I told them," said Ishan. "I told them I don't c-care if they disown me, I will not let you go, Shubi."