The Shadow That Smiled At Me

Chapter thirty

I calmly swam in the pool. The bright rays of the sun pleasantly caressed my skin. A gentle breeze was blowing, disturbing the warm air of the hot summer. The birds sang their songs beautifully in the treetops. I dipped my head under the water. The whole world went silent at once. Everything was so peaceful under the surface. As if there no problems existed.

I opened my eyes. Rays of light penetrated the water and created beautiful illusions. I turned my gaze to the surface. I saw a figure standing there. I emerged. The sight took my breath away. Vincent was standing there. It's been so long since I last saw him. The last time met he looked at me with disgust and hatred, and now he had the worry and tenderness in his eyes that I once knew.

"Hello, Arya." he gave me a sweet smile.

I didn't speak. Even if I wanted to, I lost all words. His presence surprised me. He was definitely the last person I would have expected to come visit me. Jessica also avoided me after I returned to LA.

"I heard you don't talk. It's okay," he told me. "I came to see how you are doing. I still care about you."

Those words stabbed me right in the heart. Even after all that, he still cares about me. I couldn't believe it. After I broke up with him at the prom.

I got out of the pool. Vincent handed me a towel. He wrapped me in it. He hugged me. I got his shirt wet, but he didn't mind. We sat down on deckchairs. His eyes fell on my legs and the cuts that adorned them.

"Arya." He gently stroked the healing wounds. "I heard you were doing bad, lately, but I had no idea how bad it was."

I looked away. I could not stand the look in his eyes full of tenderness and love. As if time had not passed at all and we were still in high school. He gently grabbed my chin and turned my face to him.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice it sooner," he told me. "I'm sorry I couldn't help you, but I'm here now, Arya. You can count on me."

Vincent is the kindest person I know. I didn't deserve him and he didn't deserve someone as horrible as me. Even then, he was there for me and was willing to like me despite the fact that everyone thinks I'm crazy. He shouldn't have apologized to me, but I should have apologized to him. I owed him an apology for the pain I caused him, for the years he wasted with me. I owed him an apology for the pretense I played in front of him to take advantage of him.

⸸

My parents were happy that I had Vincent back in my life. He was definitely more acceptable to them as my boyfriend than some illusion from the shadows. I liked him too, but I'm not sure if my heart will ever be able to love again.

Vincent made up his mind to get me out of the house. Until now we just sat in my room and watched movies like we used to or he looked at my drawings. He saw him in them. But he didn't say anything about it. He saw the pain in my eyes and didn't want to make it worse.

A motorcycle stood in front of the house. Vincent handed me the helmet. I gave him a questioning look. Where did his car disappear?

"Don't look at me like that, Arya," Vincent said. "When you left me at the prom, I was very unhappy. And so I bought a motorbike."

The memory made me feel guilty and the smile fell from my face.

"I didn't mean to make you sad," he said. "I know you've had it, you have it hard."

I hugged him. I didn't have to say a word for him to know what I wanted to say.

We got on the motorbike and sped through the streets of the city. As we got outside the city, he added speed. The wind howled around us. We passed houses, cars. The country was rapidly melting away. I held onto him tightly. As I sat behind him, body to body, I could feel his heart beating in his chest.

We stopped on a high cliff. It made me a little nervous, but I tried not to show it. We sat on the edge of the cliff. Our legs were dangling in the air. I rested my head on Vincent's shoulder. We watched the sunset together as the sun slowly sets behind the distant horizon and night comes to the world. The first stars gradually rose in the darkening skies. The sky acquired a pinkish hue and gradually darkened to ebony black. Tufts of clouds floated on that endless sky of seas. The wind blew them somewhere far away. A crescent moon appeared from behind one of them. It shone as brightly as if it had just been a full moon. And I remembered him. I gently stroked the scar adorning my wrist.

Every time I thought I was forgetting about him, that he was finally fading from my mind, something always brought back those memories. The whole world was just a reminder of what I lost.

⸸

Vincent and I walked along the beach. The sound of waves lapping the shore carried through the air. I felt the salty air on my lips. The sand dug in between our toes. We were walking Barbelo. Vincent's dog was running somewhere in the distance ahead of us. He was jumping in the waves. He was frolicking.

Vincent handed me the ball to retrieve. I threw it as far as I could. Barbelo ran after the ball in joy, caught it and brought it back to us. I scratched him behind the ears for his obedience.

"He likes you," Vincent said. "He missed you as much as I did."

I smiled. Barbelo turned onto his back and wanted me to scratch his belly, so I did. I scratched him and he liked it. He kicked his back foot in the air. His tongue was sticking out of his mouth.

Vincent gently grabbed my hand and stood me up. He grabbed me by the waist and pressed me to his chest. He kissed me. His kisses were passionate, like years of unfulfilled desire that had finally reached its fulfillment. However, I did not return it. His kisses were not like Samael's. His lips were not his. He wasn't him. There was desire in Vincent's kisses while in Samael's there was an urgency with every breath.

I pulled away from Vincent. I looked away, but Vincent turned my gaze back to him.

"I know you may not be able to accept it yet, but I love you, Arya," he told me. "I realize you need time, but I'll wait. I will wait for you."

I wanted to tell him not to do that, that I would never be able to return the same feelings he has for me, but I couldn't hurt him again. I only gave him a fleeting smile, hoping he would see the truth.