hasta la muerte, kevin alvarez

34. jinxed

"congratulations! you're having twins!" the sonographer smiled at me and kevin as she showed us two small dots on the screen. they were quite literally the size of blue berries.

"WHAT?" i was stunned.

"yay!" kevin smiled happily.
———

"dont talk to me. you jinxed it the day we announced the pregnancy." i looked out the car window.

"wha- how!?" he was speeding down the highway like he always does.

"you spoke it into existence! you said 'i hope we have twins' and guess what!"

"what!?"

"NOW WE HAVE FUCKING TWINS." i suddenly started crying. "im sorry for shouting. im just really hungry." i sobbed.

ive been having really bad mood swings, i cant control them.

"ma you're fine. you want mcdonalds?"

"DO YOU WANT ME TO GET FATTER?" i sobbed once again.

"oh my god." kevin sighed.
———

"baby, pleaseee just eat." kevin was super patient with me. he understood my mood swings better than anyone else.

"i wanna go to sleep" i started picking up the food i barley even touched and started putting it back into the bag.

"oh uhm.. im gonna go out with julian later. is that good with you?"

"do whatever you want." i got up from the table and started heading upstairs.

i laid on the bed and closed my eyes. i slowly felt myself drift off to sleep.
———

"so you coming or what?" julian asked kevin over the phone.

"nah, maybe next time."

"you fucking suckk" julian groaned at kevin.

"okay." he then hung up and sighed before going upstairs.

"y/n" he shook me lightly. "y/n wake the fuck up" he shook me a little more violently.

"fuck happened?" i slurred my words since i was still half asleep. 

"nothing, im just bored."

"go bother your hoes."

"um excuse me?"

"you heard me." i hummed and moved around till i found a comfortable spot.

"okay whatd i do now? because youre always getting mad at me for no reason!"

"i dont know." i mumbled.

he was right, i was always mad at him for no reason. i was always mad at him over the smallest things. 

"i dont know. ive just been overwhelmed with everything." i shrugged.

"if you need space ill give it to you"

"no!- no. i dont need space."

"so? what do you want? because at this point it feels like you don't want me."

i stayed silent.

"kevin i do- i do want you. i just feel like- i dont even know."

"y/n be honest. do you think this is gonna work out?" he locked eyes with me.

"yes. it will."

"so act like it." he got up from the bed and left the room, slamming the door behind him.

this is what everyone has been telling me. pregnancy changes everything in a relationship. it can all go from communicating and talking it out to constantly arguing and fighting.

i sat in his bed with tears in my eyes because ive been acting so weird lately and i dont know how to stop.
———

it was around 3 am when kevin was barley coming home from god knows where. he was drunk and was struggling to get upstairs. that was until he heard sobs coming from the room, he suddenly felt sober enough to make it up the steps without falling.

"whats wrong? why are you crying?" he didnt bother turning the lights on, he came and sat down next to me and just held me.

i didnt know, i just felt the urge to cry.

"talk to me y/n."

i refused.

"we'll talk about it later then."

he continued to hold me till i got tired of crying and eventually fell asleep.

he mumbled an "i love you" before also falling asleep.
———

a/n: i hate this sm