Mcyt one-shots and preferences!

promise - Sapnap

(boo!)

(tw: language, derealisation, descriptive words, arguing, angst)

(she/her pronouns)
———

"Yea we can fight now-" y/n heard her boyfriends voice say to his stream. she woke up, feeling sweaty, scared and crying. her tshirt soaked with tears and sweat.

she started to overthink the nightmare, more and more. her thoughts swirling getting worse, and more intense, she started to sob, holding herself, and rocking back and forth 'why did he have to stream now' she thought to herself, alone in a dark room, not wanting to interrupt your boyfriends stream. she tried to breath in and out, but i didnt seem to work, only making her feel more trapped

she heard voices in her head, repeating things in the nightmare, as everything in the room seemed to blur together, creating scary shadow figures, which seemed to be making the panic attack worse.

she sobbed more, feeling so scared to close her eyes, but wanting nothing more than peace. she hadnt even realised sapnaps talking stopped. Sapnap came into the room. "hey, hey. whats wrong" sapnap asked, opening his arms up for her, she cuddled into him and sobbed.

he stroked her hair, while holding her. after she had calmed down a little bit he asked her again what had happened. "did you have a bad dream?" he asked, she nodded. he shifted his weight on the bed. "what happened?" he asked, looking at her. "you left me, and i didnt chase after you. you died." she said "i lost you, and i woke up and you wernt here." she added on.

"im here now, okay im here, ive not left, im not dead, your not losing me." he said, before pulling her into a hug. "please dont worry. your okay, im okay, we're okay." he comforted her, he was trying his best, but wasnt always sure what words to say.

"promise?" she sniffled, looking up at him. "i promise my love. im not leaving you" sapnap assured her and kissed her head, cuddling her into bed.

———

"but why are you breaking up with me?" she asked, in tears. Sapnap looked at her with pity as he continued to pack his things. "im not, i just...need time!" he said, althought they both knew it was more than that. "please, sap, please." she almost sobbed. he almost ran into her arms, and told her he didnt want to leave her. "im protecting you." he said closing his eyes.

"you broke your promise." she said, adding more hurt into the conversation. sapnap seemed to replay that night in his head, and what he said to her 'i promise my love. im not leaving you' he had never thought about that night until now.

he finally turned to look at her, taking in how she looked, with tears streaming down her face. "please dont cry." he said turning to her, and standing infront of her. "dont leave." she said looking up at. "ill be back, im not leaving you." he assured her. that sentiment seemed to ring in her ears for a while, she remembered everything about that night, feeling safe with him. being happy even in the worst of times, and he still broke her heart. she just stared blankly at him, before looking at him with a straight face

"i dont trust you. you broke your promise and hurt me in the process." she said, feeling regret as soon as she said it when she seen his face. he looked upset, guilty, surprised and embarrassed all at the same time. "how could you? i trusted you, i LOVED you. i did everything and then some for you! and your fucking off as soon as it gets hard? thats a pretty shitty thing to do." she argued

"im not fucking off because were arguing, im leaving because im tired of us arguing till the other feels so shit they cant say anything back. its so fucking toxic." sapnap yelled over her. "yeah well who made it like that? because it sure as fuck wasnt me when all i fucking did was love you." she shouted back. "are you saying i didnt love you?" he asked softly.

"who knows? your selfish, you never showed it properly anyways." she said angrily

he looked like he want to say something but didnt. she waited for a few minutes for him to say something, she stared at him, hoping the awkward silence would fuck off.

"im sorry, but i cant stay, im not good enough, and i need time to think over our relationship, clearly youve been upset at me for something for a long time and your letting it out on me now. i know ive hurt you, but i promise to rebuild our relationship when im back from florida." sapnap said with begging eyes. neither of them believed they could rebuild anything but they could try.

she didnt say anything, just nodded and stood there. he picked up the two bags, and headed to the door, he watched her sob in the same spot he left her, he felt his heart break a little more, he felt exactly how she did. simply broken. "ill be back soon, i love you." he said softly, looking at her awaiting her response, if she would even give him one. when he thought he wasnt going to get one he turned around about to close the door. "i love you too." she said after he was about to close the door.

his whole body untensed and he half smiled at her, holding up his pinky finger as a sign of a promise, even though she didnt believe it and he left, taking her happiness with him.

they both knew he wasnt coming back, hell even theyre cat knew he wasnt coming back. the whole house seemed to change as time went on. everday without him she accepted it more. he told her everday 'ill be back soon' but when it reached three months, she no longer believed it and stopped caring.

they both knew the relationship they had was fucked and they couldnt fix it. he had hurt her too much. he couldnt make up for it.