•.. The Captain and The Detective

9.

CHAPTER NINE.
Gorilla Wars.

James stood beside all the others, standing at the gate of button house. They were all waiting for the arrival of the living people who bought the house. Soon enough, the same car came driving through the gate causing all ghosts to jump to questions as they chased after it.

The group ran down the path, the Detective running ahead with the Captain not so far behind him, his coat flowing behind as he ran. Eventually, the group reached the dark-green car, surrounding it as they chattered away. James watched as Alison undid her seatbelt, slamming open the door. "Fine!" She shouted causing them all to be silenced. "I see you! Okay?! I See Major-General Can't Sing, I see Captain Cave-Prick, I see all of you! Okay? You win! Mission accomplished! I admit your existence. Now what the hell dk you want?!"

"We want you out of this house!" Captain stepped forward.

"Yes, you do not belong here!" Lady Button agreed.

"Well, that's tough, isn't it? Because thanks to my resident mortgage advisor," Alison turned around, looking toward Mike. "We're stuck here!"

"Okay..." Mike spoke up. "You're officially freaking me out.

"So how about you leave?" Alison looked around at them all.

"We can't leave." Captain told her.

"You sort of just stays where you dies." Mary shrugged.

"And how you dies— died!" Thomas closed his eyes, correcting himself.

"It's your classic haunted house." Pat smiled.

"Er, Alison—" Mike tried to speak up.

"Woah. Right." She held up a finger telling him to be quiet. "So I can't go and you can't go. So... what will it take to get you all just out of my face, huh? What do you want? What do you actually want?! Specifically!—" she pointed toward the Captain. "You?"

Captain hesitated for a second before speaking. "Right! I'll tell you what we want. We demand that... one hour a week of the thing about tanks and anything on super weapons, please? Thank you."

"Done! Next." Alison looked around at them all while Mike spoke.

"It feels like I should call someone?"

"Who you gonna call?!" She turned around to the ghosts again, looking at Lady Button. "You, sourpuss."

"Remove my husband's portrait, and fill the hole in my wall!" Fanny Button demanded causing Alison to give her a short nod.

"Done. You?"

"Divorce him, kill yourself, marry me." Thomas said dreamily.

"No."

"To which bit?"

"You?" Alison looked at Pat.

"I just wanted to say hello!" The scout shouted.

"Hello!" Alison responded with slight frustration.

"Oh, hello." Pat smiled before looking around at all the other ghosts. "And on behalf of myself and my fellow ghosts—"

"Listen." Julian interrupted the scout as he started to speak. "I want those slanderous beggars at Goggle to amend my entry for the next edition. I am a respectable—"

"It-it doesn't work like that — it's the internet." Alison closed her eyes as she explained.

"Right. And where are they based?"

"It's everywhere. In every house in every country, in the world." Alison explained shortly to the man, growing annoyed.

"You mean every person on the planet just thinks of me as the weirdo MP who died in some sex scandal?" Julian questioned causing James to snort as he crossed his arms. Alison gasped with shock.

"That was you?!"

Julian slowly looked at her. "What? No!" He awkwardly chuckled. "I don't want anything, actually. Who's next?" They looked toward Mary who held out her hand.

"Renounce Satan, witch!" She pointed toward Alison who looked around awkwardly.

"Uh... okay."

"Yeah, Yeah, that's probably done it." Mary nodded stepping back.

"And what about you two, Budget Tarzan and knock-off Sherlock Holmes? What do you want?"

"Oh, nuffin', thanks." Robin spoke up looking at her.

"Nothing?" Alison took a deep breath. "So you just spent... so you just spent the last three days... hiding in every little tiny little dark corner in this entire house, scaring me out of my mind, for no reason?!"

"Well, it was something to do." Robin shrugged.

Alison sighed. "What about you, James?"

"Well, is there any sort of sort of detective show I can watch? Cause if there is, that would be lovely." James smiled at the woman. "If there isn't, I don't mind. Doesn't really matter to me, you know?"

"Yeah, there a ton." Alison nodded at him.

"Oh." James wore a smile as he crosse his arms. "Thank you."

"My turn!" Kitty giggled as she skipped forward. "I think we have a lot in common."

"Okay, so I've just googled 'psychotic break', and I'm not just saying that this is one but there is an article that I think you should have a—"

"Mike, this isn't... can you just come with me?" Alison walked through the group of ghosts, then all moving so she wouldn't walk through them. "All of you!"

"Where are you going?" Julian asked.

"To shut you all up!"

—

"This is so... fascinating." James muttered as he stared at the small screen Alison had set up in front of him. The other ghosts were all spread around the room. Alison and Robin were playing Chess while Thomas sat beside Alison whispering his poem to her.

Julian, Mary, Captain and Pat were all sat around the laptop as they had refused to watch anything on the small screen she had given James. "What's..." he pointed toward the screen and looked up toward Alison. "What's his name?"

"That is Sherlock Holmes." Alison nodded at him.

"Ah, like the books." James nodded with realisation. "This is so... different!" He watched the show with awe.

"What are you watching, James?" Captain questioned from where he sat.

"It's a show about Sherlock Holmes, a detective. Apparently, a woman has been murdered!" James explained with a large smile, his eyes never leaving the small screen. The Captain let a small smile take over his face as he shook his head, turning back to the tanks that played on the laptop.

"Well, I'm not sure I buy all this, but I've moved the painting." Mike walked into the room, looking toward Alison.

"And bricked up the hole?" Alison questioned.

"Yeah, I... filled... the hole." Mike said before he sat next to his wife. "Well, you seem happier." He smiled at her.

"The good news is I'm not mad." She stood up from her chair.

"That's a Relief. What's the bad news?" Mike asked. The ghosts had all broke into an argument. Well, all ghosts but James, who continued to watch the small screen with awe.

"They are."

Alison walked through the door as Mike furrowed his eyebrows. Slowly, he turned to the sound of tapping. His eyes looked toward the laptop as the 'E' key pushed down. The words "vicky pedia" appearing on the screen. Mike practically jumped out of his skin as he quickly rushed through the door, following his wife.

————

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