Chapter 23

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Ryder's pov

I was looking at a cozy house. So this is Kayden's home. On the way here I learned that the house is protected so I haven't been able to smell Kayden's scent, but as soon as I got inside I couldn't smell anything else. Even a fool would know who this house belongs to.

Of course, his scent mixes with the kids scents. My kids.

"I still can't believe that they are our pups. Did you see how the boy challenged us even though he doesn't have his own wolf yet? And the girl didn't feel threatened even though she is an omega! They are amazing." Jax said proudly.

"True. Kayden has been doing a great job with them and is clearly training with them too. But I'm afraid the kids are against me." I answered in a low voice.

"You don't know that. They knew who you are. I don't think Kayden and Kai turned the kids against us." Jax replied with certainty.

I looked wistfully into the room where my mate was lying unconscious on the big bed. His face automatically turned towards the kids. The twins haven't left from their dads side for a moment and finally fell asleep next to him.

The sight warmed my heart, but at the same time a great weight oppressed my chest. How much have I lost..

I sighed deeply and turned to the hallway. I have to try and talk to the queen because Kayden hasn't woken up yet.

Aaaand that didn't go well. She told me almost nothing and I lost my temper. I have a right to know about my kids. Just when my last nerve was about to break Valeria told me to follow her.

She directed me to a room that was clearly a kids room. My heart beat a little faster, I was in an emotional state, very happy, sad and a little angry.

Above the beds were the names: Cassandra and Xander. I touched them cautiously as Valeria spoke behind me.

"Kayden didn't know he was pregnant when he ran away from your pack. He found out about it unexpectedly when he came here. Those kids are everything to him and he has dedicated his whole life to them. Without them, I don't think he would have been able to continue living."

I turned to look at her and wanted to hear everything she wanted to say. Valeria looked at me for a long time before continuing

"Kayden is a good dad and it broke him that he couldn't share the pregnancy or the kids lives with his family and friends. But he made sure the children knew about their family. That's why they also knew who you were." Valeria said, nodding her head towards the wall.

I turned to the wall and it was full of pictures. There were pictures of Kayden's family, friends, and even my family. I was taken aback. What shocked me the most was how many pictures of me were on the wall. A lump rose in my throat and my emotions were a mess.

"Kayden has never hidden you from the kids and what they know about Kayden's escape is only a fraction of the truth. Kayden has told you that you did something that he cannot forgive."

I was so overhelmed. I was sad and angry. He should have told and returned home!

Next, Valeria dared to claim that it was due to fear. No matter what I've ever done to Kayden he's never been afraid of me!

But then Valeria used her gift on me and something inside me died for Kayden.

I could see most of his panic attacks and there were a lot of them. How he pulled his hair and scratched himself just to get relief from his pain. How sad and depressed he has been. I saw how he has broken down crying at nights until he was so tired that he has fallen asleep.

I did broke him..

"But I'm his mate.." I mumbled.

"You were my mate." Kayden suddenly entered the room.

I wanted to talk to him but he just told me to go away. I'm definitely not going anywhere! He can try and force me out but at the end of the day I'm still the Alpha and the stronger of us.

I can say that my huge ego took a big hit when my omega mate dragged me out of the house by force, straight into the rain. I had barely gotten up when Kayden walked straight towards me.

"Payback time, mate." He growled.

His look cut me deeply, I felt like I was eighteen years old again experiencing my first heartbreak. His wet hair clung to his forehead. Water ran down his perfect face.

There was so much anger and rage in his eyes, but what hurt me the most was the amount of sadness that shone over the other emotions.

"What do you want Ryder?" Kayden pushed me and I staggered backwards.

"You want to take me back and punish me for leaving? Huh!?" He pushed me again.

"Kayden, stop. I just want to talk! About us and the kids, they are also my kids, I have my own rights with them." I tried to calm him down but somehow I made him angrier.

"So you want to take the kids away from me? You must kill me before I let you take them from me!" Kayden screamed and pushed me hard.

"I will never come with you. You bullied me, beat me, cheated me, forced yourself on me! You never cared about me!" Kayden screamed and despite the rain you could see that he was crying.

I felt my own eyes watering.

"Kayden please stop. I'm so sorry about everything. I-I love you." I said and let the tears fall. He needs to see that I mean it.

Kayden froze for a moment before a new kind of rage rose up in him. He walked right in front of me and slapped me. My head turned from the force of the slap.

"You love me? I remember very clearly that you told me that you would never love me or touch me. Do you think I've forgotten? I remember everything, everything!" Kayden yelled and punched me in the arm.

Kayden yelled at me about our past and punched me all over my body. I let him, I deserve this. Now both were crying inconsolably.

"Fight back!" Kayden yelled and punched my chest.

"N-no." I answered through tears.

"Hit me! For years you bullied and abused me and now you just stand there doing nothing!?" He continued pounding my chest for who knows how long. Finally he got tired.

"I hate you!" Kayden screamed and dropped to his knees on the ground, crying.

"Kayden.." I tried to take him in my arms but he just yelled again

"Don't. Touch. Me!" He continued to cry.

"You broke me.." He whispered but I heard it clearly. All the rage was gone and only sadness remained.

I didn't know what to do. We were just silent in the rain, both silently crying.

"Daddy! Where are you?" Cassandra shouted from the terrace of the house.

Kayden quickly stood up. "Daddy will be right back honey, wait inside!" He answered. Kayden didn't bother to wipe his eyes because he was soaking wet anyway. He looked at me and said in a hollow, dead voice

"Go to your room. We'll talk tomorrow."

He didn't wait for my answer but turned and walked back to the house. I looked after him and all I could think was how am I ever going to fix this.

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