Fanmade|TK

twelve

JUNGKOOK

Taehyung wasn't himself and I hated to see him like that, feeling responsible for his state. It's not like him to space out so much and it's not like him to not listen when someone is talking.

He was the first to leave after our meeting and I watched him with concern and worry. And longing.

Deep, huge longing.

So when I also made my way to my room, after allowing myself to get some black coffee to wake up, I stopped in front of his room. I stood there for a moment, battling wether I should knock or not, because not talking to him feels like a huger punishment than him possibly rejecting me again.

All of the sudden an arm wrapped around my shoulder and I almost kicked someone's balls, feeling my heart drop. I looked at Jin hyung, surprised. "Are you gonna talk to him?"

My eyes fell to the door. I should. I have to. "Yeah."

He released his arm from my shoulder and smiled warmly. "Then knock."

"Can you leave first?" For some reason, I didn't want him to be involved when I talk to Taehyung. What I am planning to tell him should only stay between us, I don't want anyone to mingle more in our business than they already have.

"I can. But I have to make sure you don't bail," That's what he said and he didn't even give me time to react when he already knocked on Taehyung's door instead of me and started running away like a little kid. "Thank me later, dipshit!"

My eyes widened and I gritted my teeth as I watched him disappear around the corner. "I hate you!"

"Who?" Heart stopping for a second, I turned to the door I almost forgot I was standing in front of. My eyes met Taehyung's face and I felt my heart accelerating just standing in front of him.

"I-I said that to Jin hyung.." I trailed off and then took a deep breath. "We need to talk."

His expression told me what I needed to know. He wants to talk, he also knows we need to talk, but he is nervous. And I am so nervous too. With a soft nod, he entered his room and I followed, closing the door behind me.

Where do I start?

"I need you to listen to me." His beautiful voice beat me and while I felt like I needed to talk first, I also couldn't help feeling anticipated to know what he has to say.

"Okay, I'm listening," I stated.

Taehyung looked away from me, his gaze dropping downward and I noticed a little shake in his hands or the way he was chewing on his lips. He was beautiful, but for the first time his beauty really had me in a chokehold. His soft brown hair, his captivating eyes, every single mole. His full lips.

The full lips he couldn't stop chewing on because he was so nervous. Almost like a reflex, my mind set out and I lifted my arm to softly place my hand under his chin, tilting his face towards me. "Stop chewing on your lip, Tae."

He stared at me and something about the way he did made me feel all warm inside. He stopped biting his lip and I lowered my arm again, giving him space to talk.

"I..." he took a shallow breath, "first of all, I'm so sorry about what happened last night. I shouldn't have done something so stupid, especially without your consent. That... that was really inconsiderate of me."

I almost butted in to tell him that I didn't mind the kiss, that nothing about it was stupid. That it wasn't a mistake like I told him last night. But he wasn't done talking, and I needed to hear his reasoning to what happened, so I could understand him more.

"I don't know where to start," he laughed awkwardly and I knew, if I was in his situation I'd be as speechless and nervous as him. Whatever he was about to say, I knew it was something coming from deep down. The tears that formed in his eyes underlined that. And I didn't know if I should be scared or hopeful.

"It's okay, Tae. Take your time."

He blinked the tears away, inhaling in and out deeply.

"I have feelings for you."

If my heart was speeding before, it was flying right now, as my whole body went rigid for a second. Jin told me that he was sure Taehyung liked me, but to hear him say that, to know it's true and confirmed, it made it feel so much realer.

"I should have told you earlier, but I feared it would destroy our friendship and so I stayed quiet. I'm sorry, I really tried to get rid of my feelings for you, but literally nothing worked and for the past weeks it became harder to hide and when that Army said those things at the fan meeting and you sounded so against it, it hurt. That's why I cried, that's why all those stupid fights started. I'm so sorry and I understand if you don't feel the same way. We can pretend like there is nothing, we can just forget what happened, but still... I needed you to know what I'm feeling. I-I don't want anything to change though-

His cute attempt to find a compromise that isn't needed made me feel all warm inside. I didn't want to interrupt him with words, but I still wanted to show him my opinion on the whole situation.

So, I kissed him. Mid-sentence. Because I heard everything I needed to hear to know where this was going to go. And there is no way I am going to pretend like his feelings to me do not exist.

He stood frozen for a moment, but eventually acted along with me, kissed me back and came closer. A soft smile formed on my lips as I snaked my arms around his waist, pulled him closer and deepened our kiss. It was magical, it was perfect. No rush, no demand, just a pure flow of unspoken feelings.

And they were loud.

Due to the lack of air we needed to stop. I placed my forehead against his, not letting go of his body against mine, as our heavy breaths brushed against each others.

"I want things to change though," I whispered, barely hearable but I knew he heard it. He opened his eyes, locked them with mine. I smiled fondly as I wiped away the little tears that rolled down his cheeks. How long has he lived with these feelings bottled up for all of those tears to fall?

Up till now, I feared change. Now I want it.

"W-what do you mean?" he stuttered, still in shock by everything that just happened. I knew exactly how he felt, because I myself wasn't feeling any different.

"You and me... We can't be friends." Just looking at him, with his flushed cheeks and rosy lips made me want to kiss him again and then forever. "I also have feelings for you."