To Be Like You (Demon Slayer)

To Be Like You

Tanjiro walked up a path. It was up a mountain. It was very familiar, yet he couldn't place where he remembered this from. He didn't know what he was doing here. Wasn't he on the Mugen Train? He walked and walked until he saw it. His childhood home. He was stunned. 'What? I don't even know how I got here and now this?' He wondered as he walked closer. He heard giggling and whispering coming from inside. He held onto the handle of his katana and ripped the door open. Inside was Hanako and Shigeru. A million thoughts ran through his head. He felt his vision blurring and he passed out.

Tanjiro couldn't remember much from before he fell asleep on the train. Yet he still remembered the dream he had while in that train. While it was clear Zenitsu probably dreamed about Nezuko, he wasn't entirely sure what Inosuke had dreamed about. It was confusing on what went through the man's head. But it had been three days since the mission. Rengoku-San had died. That's most of what he remembers, he knows he disassociated and can't remember much. Everyone was worried. He knows why. He always disassociates when he's too overwhelmed with emotions. He knows it not normal and is usually a sign of past trauma. But he can't help it. After his disassociation episode, Inosuke and Zenitsu haven't fought as much. While Tanjiro is fine with that, it's just, he doesn't want them to change because of him.

After the Sword smith Village mission, Tanjiro couldn't take it anymore. Tanjiro was sitting at the butterfly mansion where no one could find him. In the cherry blossom tree in the backyard where he would usually train. Tanjiro sat on the highest branch he could get to and cried in silence as he thought about everything. He wrapped himself tighter in his checkered haori. He didn't know what do. At this point he just accepted that he was never going to be what he wanted to be. He sat there crying as the uncomfortable feeling and reality of a burning sensation deep in his gut. Every stab of pain and uncomfortable gush of the liquid made Tanjiro sicker and made him cry even harder. He could smell it coming from a week before it started. He was prepared but it still didn't do anything to help him. He kept crying until he smelled a familiar scent. Ocean breeze and depression. It was Tomioka-San! Tanjiro got excited. The man never visited much and when he did it was normally to visit him! But then Tanjiro had that sinking feeling. He had to go down the tree. Meaning he had to stand up. Meaning earths pull would pull the liquid with it. Meaning an even greater uncomfortable feeling. He cried harder when he heard the tree rustle. He panicked. Had someone found him? We're they toying with him and shaking the tree? Was Inosuke head-butting the tree? He hoped it was the last one. While that would mean Inosuke would know he was there. The tree kept shaking and Tanjiro just cried even harder and closed his eyes shut as tight as possible. When he was suddenly hugged tightly. Tanjiro opened his eyes and finally- to his lung's relief- breathed in and was hit with the smell of the ocean and depression. Tomioka had climbed up the tree. "Tomioka-san?" Tanjiro managed to squeak out. "What's wrong Tanjiro?" Tomioka asked. Tanjiro just started to ugly sob and cliched onto Tomioka's haori. Tanjiro cried while Tomioka hugged him.

After Tanjiro finally stopped crying, Tomioka asked what was wrong once again. Tanjiro didn't know the answer to that question. There were many reasons and things that were wrong. His body wasn't right. The burning sensation was so intense it was getting hard to ignore. The uncomfortable feeling of the liquid. The blood. He was feeling unworthy of the Hinokami Kagura. It was sacred. And he was basically filth. A liar. He wasn't worth anyone's time. He couldn't fulfill the one job his Father had given him all those years ago. He wasn't worthy of his earrings or his demon slayer mark. He wasn't worth anything. "I-I don't k-know." Tanjiro stuttered out. But then a very shard stab of pain in his gut had him crying out and he clutched his stomach even more. Tomioka widened his eyes and looked for any sign that something was wrong. "Tanjiro! What's wrong? Do you need to see Kocho?" Tomioka asked. "N-no. I'm fine Tomioka-san." Tanjiro said with a slight stutter.