A Song of War

three

veritas odit moras

truth hates delay

*       *       *

Conrad sat with me as they let the poison run through my body. I tried to put on a brave face for him. Normally, no one was with me, and I was able to freely show my pain. I tried not to on the rare occasion that mama came. Dad never came, but mama told me she didn't see dad much either.

If I was being honest, I'm not sure I would be able to recognize dad. I couldn't really remember a time that I had seen him.

I opened my eyes, watching Conrad as he spoke. He was telling me a story about his younger brother. He was my age, and a part of my heart squeezed at the things that boy was able to do that I wasn't. In a way, I was living through his brother, putting myself in the story and wondering what I would have done in his place.

From the sound of it, Conrad's brother, Julian, always seemed to be in some type of trouble. I got the sense that Conrad was a good brother. He seemed to be the one pulling him out of trouble. It made me wonder what life would have been like if I had an older or younger sibling.

"How is your mama?"

Conrad smiles at me, "she's better. Going to get out tomorrow actually. Dad's ready. He hates having her away from the pa-...house."

Fear suffocates me as I try desperately to not show it.

"You're...you're leaving?"

Conrad frowns, his eyes staring at me for a long moment before he reaches for my hand.

"Ares. I'll still come and see you. You're stuck with me until you tell me to go away."

I give a soft laugh, not wanting to easily accept his words. Mama had said that. That she would come and see me. She did, but not as much as I wanted. I knew it was selfish to ask for her more. I wasn't dumb to think everything would stop because of me. That the world would not move to allow time to be given to me.

I nodded at Conrad, but stopped my heart from responding to his words. It caused less pain when,-in the days to come- I stared at nothing but my four white walls. It caused less hurt, to not have me waiting anxiously with eyes on the door.

I feel pressure on my hand as he squeezes, "I mean it, Ares."

There is a sincere look in his eyes. I think he believes he's telling the truth. That he really will visit in the beginning, but time gets to people. No one wants to see a sick girl fighting a losing battle. I know I wouldn't. I would want to be outside in the real world, living my life without that sadness hanging over me.

I don't say anything, and I think I've made Conrad upset. I see tension in his jaw as he continues to hold my hand.

A man steps into the room, his eyes falling on us. He walks forward, his stride purposeful as he makes his way.

"Sir, it's time to go."

"Go back down and wait and don't ever tell me when it's time for me to do something," Conrad snarls.

I shrink back in my chair, scared all of a sudden of how Conrad changed. His eyes blink and he looks at me with...I think it's guilt. Or regret. I think he is upset at showing me that.

I knew he was a dragon, but I had not thought he was a dragon that had the capability to hurt others.

The man doesn't say anything. He only lowers his head before turning and leaving.