The Set Up

sedici

23rd September 2022 - Milan

"giulia quickly the car is leaving" amy screams from my apartment living room and i run out with my purse

"okay i'm here" i say as i leave the door and she follows behind 

"does it feel nice to be back in your apartment" she asks 

"i dont know im not used to it anymore it doesn't really feel like home anymore" i say shrugging my shoulders as i get into the car 

"does monaco feel like home" she asks 

"kind of i mean i'm still getting used to the city but i'm used to it now" i say 

"liz is coming to paris with you next week she asked me to tell you" she says and i squeal 

"Actually" i say in disbelief 

"yes actually, and your father told me marco is coming to your house tonight for dinner" she says and my eyes widen in shock

"marco is coming?" i ask 

"yes he's in mid term break so he's in milan" she says 

"and you're one hundred percent sure he's coming for dinner" i ask ]

"yes im sure" she says 

"gosh i don't even have any food at home" i say panicking

"i will go buy groceries while you get hair and makeup done" she says and i sigh in relief 

"it feels weird that i'm walking in an armani show" i say 

"you walked versace and gucci yesterday why does it feel weird" she says 

"i don't know it feels like a full circle moment like my career is at an all time high even though it was supposed to come to an end i mean i walked in fendi, gucci, prada all these amazing brands this year but for some reason when i walk in a new show for a new band it feels like an achievement" i say 

"it is a very big achievement" she says 

Walking down the runway of a renowned fashion brand during Fashion Week was a dream come true, an achievement that most people only dream about. The flashing cameras, the cheering crowd, and the dazzling outfits were all a testament to my hard work and determination. But as I walked with confidence, there was a voice inside my head, a voice that wasn't mine but Amy's, and in that moment, I couldn't help but admit that she was right about something more profound than just my runway success. While the world celebrated my career and applauded my achievements, my thoughts were far from the glamorous life I was living. Instead, they were consumed by the person I had chosen to leave behind, the one who meant more to me than any runway show ever could - Charles, my husband. Our marriage had been put on hold, indefinitely it seemed, to chase these elusive fashion dreams. And now, five months into this relentless pursuit, I couldn't help but wonder if it had been worth it. Two more weeks apart seemed like an eternity. The gap that had grown between us had turned into an abyss, a painful chasm that I was unsure how to bridge. We had been fighting relentlessly about his other love, someone who had been a part of his life long before I entered the picture. It was a battle I was losing, and deep down, I knew it. He chose her over me, day in and day out. As I walked those runways, he was probably with her, as he had been so many times before. Our marriage had always been something Charles never wanted, and it wasn't something I had envisioned either. It had been arranged, the decision of my family, rather than our own. But as time went on, I had hoped that love would eventually blossom between us. I wanted to believe that our shared dreams and experiences would bring us closer, but it had only driven us further apart. Charles never showed or admitted his love for me. His resentments seemed to grow with each passing day. He saw me as the one who had trapped him in a life he never wanted. I felt the weight of his bitterness, and it had been slowly eroding any love that might have existed between us. As I stood under the blinding runway lights, I couldn't help but feel an emptiness that no amount of applause could fill. The glamour of the fashion world had lost its luster. The superficial beauty of it all paled in comparison to the longing I felt for Charles. My heart ached, not from the high heels or the countless fittings but from the regret of leaving behind the man who, despite our unconventional beginning, was the one I had chosen to be with. Amy's voice in my head was a constant reminder of the reality I had been avoiding. It was as though she saw through the glitter and glamour, straight to the heart of my true desires and the deep-seated doubts that had been gnawing at me for months. In that moment, I realized that maybe it was time to confront my feelings, to reevaluate my choices, and to find a way to bridge the gap between Charles and me. The runway may have been a dream come true, but the love I had left behind was a reality I couldn't ignore any longer. Fashion week could wait, but my marriage couldn't.