𝑯𝒊𝒈𝒉 𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 [Suna x Reader]

𝐗𝐗𝐈

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We arrive at the club where we meet everyone else.

Once I get there all the girls surround me with "we've been waiting for you" and "come along" by all of them, despite knowing no one.

I go with them. They all get in the bathroom and form a circle.

"What are we doing?" I ask.

Some of them shush me and my cousin searches for something in her bag.

She pulls out another bag with some pills. She looks at me shaking it suggestively.

I do a realisation face and nod.

"I couldn't get enough for the boys so not a word of this." She says as she hands out one to each of us.

Everyone gathers their pill in the middle of the circle so I do too.  Then we all say "Cheers!" and put it in our mouths, swallowing.

"Now ladies, let's dance!" Sora says.

And we leave the bathroom to get back partying.

Eventually me and the other girls get too wild and the guys get us out in fear of being kicked out or someone calling the police.

"What did you guys take?" Suna asks us once we're out of the club.

We all shushed each other laughing and some ended up admitting with honesty "I don't know." And laughing even more.

Suna takes a hold of me. It felt harsh but it looked caring.

"I'll take care of her tonight." He says to Sora. "You don't seem to be in a better condition. I hope y'all have a soft hungover, but we're leaving. Tonight was a lot of fun and we should do it again next birthday." His voice was monotone. I can tell he's not lying but most would believe it was sarcasm.

He took me to his place.

"Be quiet, I don't want my mom waking up." He tells me.

"Ok" I whisper loudly.

He sighs and decides it is better to carry me than to let me walk by my own unstable self.

Putting me down in bed he starts taking off my party clothes and puts one of his shirts over me.

After that, he disappears and comes back with a bucket with a water bottle and some snacks.

"Eat and drink. I don't want you feeling like shit tomorrow."

"What's the difference from feeling like shit tomorrow or today?" I ask.

"Because if you feel like shit today the poison you consumed won't have been in your body for a longer amount of time."

"Oh makes sense. I had never thought of it that way." I say then forcing myself to eat and drink.

-

After waking up I remember throwing up forcefully multiple times.

Once there's was nothing else left in my stomach I ate some more - once again not by choice.

We showered and went to sleep.

I see Suna still asleep next to me. I peck his cheek.

He turns around half awake.

"Thanks for taking care of me." I say embarrassed of my state last night.

"How do you feel?" He asks.

"Better."

"Good then I can scold you."

"I'm not a child. It was just last night, I'll never get that fucked again." I try to dodge.

"I don't care. I'm pissed." He starts. "Do you have any idea of what could have happened to you if I wasn't there?"

"Yeah."

"Then why did you do it? Come on answer me."

"I didn't know it would be like that. I just trusted Sora, I didn't know what I was taking but if she was offering it I thought it would be alright."

"See that's what you get for trusting people. Have you learned nothing in your life."

"I have an overprotective mother. So, unlike you, I was locked away half of my life. No of course I learned nothing, I'm still new to all this. And even if I wasn't, she's my cousin and my best friend, she would never do that on purpose. She probably didn't even kn-"

He interrupts me. "There you go!" He raises his tone. "Making excuses for liars and bad people. That's fucking toxic, in case you haven't learned that either yet."

I don't know what to say back so I stay quiet.

"What? Nothing to say?"

"She just.. she wouldn't." I stumble.

"Keep denying it, maybe you'll actually believe that bullshit."

"No, she wouldn't, she didn't know." I say quietly, not sure what believe in anymore.

He slaps me.

"What the fuck was that for!" I raise my voice.

"You were about to have a fucking panic attack. I had to stop it." He explains. "Now can you think clearer? Can you see how bad the people around you are, how poorly they have been treating you?I mean, your mom never allowed you to breathe, your father left you when you were barely a toddler, your cousin drugged you and that's just what I know, what about the things you haven't even told me yet?"

"You're right." I say as I start to cry. "No one actually likes me." I get washed with memories of people who are no longer in my life because they got sick of me, sick of treating me like shit.

I don't know if it was because of this heated conversation or the thought that maybe I'm not wanted by the people closest to me, but I couldn't help my tears from falling.

I hadn't cried like this for a long time. The warm salty tears run down my face. My cheek still itching from the slap. I held onto that itchiness that burned over my skin as more tears covered it. That sensation felt comforting, like the only real relationship I've experienced throughout my pathetic life.

Suna was silent and still for a minute or so before crawling behind me and holding me in his arms.

He hugs me for as long as I need to.

~ two months time-skip cus this shit has to end~

I fell in love with pain as I fell in love with him.

He got me so high that it crushed me against the ceiling. My ribs broke and penetrated my lungs. I couldn't breathe, but I was happy.

I liked that pain because he was the one hurting me.

I fell from the ceiling from those highs he gave me, right into his arms. But he never was there to catch me so I banged my cranium onto the stone floor, getting hurt once more. But it felt good, because he always ended up with me laying there on the floor smiling with me.

I cherished the pain he gave me. It was all he ever gave me. I could take it, I could take all his sweetened and softened violence I could take anything he offered me and mistaken it for love. I just wanted him not to leave me, just how I walked out on everyone in my life but him.

I thought his absence would hurt more than any wounds he triggered.
I needed his intoxicating presence.

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