𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬. | conan gray

𝟎𝟐. | spill or drink

charlie and hailey are finally here. true to form, charlie's carrying a bag that clinks softly, filled with the promise of a night that's probably not going to be as cozy as i hoped. it seems the "chill and spill" evening is turning into more spill than chill.

"charlie, my man!" el greets him, reaching for the bag. "what kind of magical potions have you brought us tonight?"

charlie grins, his self-confidence shining through. "only the finest, my dear."

they waste no time, and before i know it, we've ditched the cozy movie night plan for a drinking game of truth or dare. shots are poured and laughter echoes through the living room.

hailey is throwing wild dares left and right, and el, well, her sarcasm has reached new heights. but charlie, in his usual fashion, is holding it together surprisingly well.

the room is spinning a bit for me, even though i haven't had much. a couple of sips are enough to make me feel a bit dizzy. i can't help but feel funny in this tipsy state, but my mind keeps drifting to places it shouldn't.

back to him.

i'm lost in my thoughts until the bottle points at me, and i choose truth. hailey, in her drunken state, asks the question that i've dodged for months around her and el. "amy, you never mentioned. was there anyone before el? spill or drink!"

my heart sinks, and i glance at charlie. he knows the answer, and for a moment, our eyes lock in silent communication. he understands that this is a territory i don't want to venture into tonight.

i empty my glass a bit too hastily, hoping to drown out the question and get away with it.

but el wasn't satisfied. she wanted answers. she wraps her arms around me. "come on, amy, spill the beans. who was the lucky soul before me?"

charlie, sensing my discomfort, tries to intervene. "hey, ease up, guys. she finished her drink, so the game conitnues. let's not dig into the past."

el leans in, a playful glint in her eyes. "oh, come on! the past shapes us. who was this mysterious person? tell us, tell us!"

i try to deflect, "it's not important. let's just play the stupid game."

but hailey persists. "oh, come on! wait, they broke you heart, didn't they? do tell!"

i try to pretend i didn't hear that.

el, in her drunken state, gets more insistent. "seriously, amy, reveal their name right now. i'll make sure they don't have a pretty face tomorrow."

i feel a knot forming in my stomach. i can't reveal his name. not now. not like this.

"ellie, chill. it's not that dramatic," i say, trying to play it off.

"wow, this is the second time today that you've said my actual name. you're slowly scaring me," she continues to joke. "seriously, amy, if someone hurt you, they deserve to be punched in the face. who was it?"

i gave up on answering and just sit there in her arms.

and then, on the borderline between playful and hurtful, she says something that cuts deeper than i expected. "did they leave you in pieces, amy? is that why you're so guarded?"

i can't take it.

her arms around me suddenly feel suffocating, and i excuse myself to the bathroom. i need a moment to breathe and escape the awkwardness that's settled in the room.

alone in the bathroom, i try to calm down, annoyed by my girlfriend. i hate to admit it, but it's not the first time drunk el has unleashed words without a second thought. and it probably won't be the last. but her inappropriate comments have never hit me as much as they did now.