Legacy (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 17 - Breakdown #1

Alex's POV:

I am so totally lost. And pissed might I add.

Great, just great. I am a lost, pissed, kinda too short for my age standing in the middle of the sun, about to cry because I don't understand anything about this fucking campus.

Oh, damn wait I need to add 'on a brink of a mental breakdown' to my pile of woe.

"Oh god I need help." I whisper to myself as I stare at the timetable which is strangely getting smaller the more, I look at it. Is that normal? Oh ok. I'M GOING TO DIE.

Where is John when I need him the most?!?

I recompose myself, taking deep breaths and look back at the timetable. There are strange droplets soaking into the paper and I look up at the sky.

Oh, come on! YOU WERE SUNNY LIKE TWO SECONDS AGO!!

I should be the one crying not the fucking clouds.

Everyone around me had their umbrellas out in two seconds and headed inside. I just stood there, still holding the soaked timetable in the rain.

If I cry now, no one will know cuz I'm already wet.

I glanced back up at the sky again.

Please no thunder, c'mon universe, just one thing for me.

I braced for a distant boom in the distance and the memories to come flooding back but nothing happened. Huh, begging worked.

I tucked my timetable back into my pocket, it was wet but it ws still a little dry. Maybe it would work?

"Who am I kidding?" I whisper to myself, sliding down onto the soaked floor, and burying my head in hands.

I was crying now. I can't do this college shit. I worked all the way up to college but I can't even find a class.

I take a shuddering breath and bury my head deeper into my hands until my eyes hurt.

The rain wasn't helping the slightest bit. It just kept coming and each droplet making me hate myself more.

My hair was all wet now, clothes soaked. I realized I'm still the same little boy that lived on the Caribbean.

At least I was happy then. I thought miserably. I brought my knees up to my chest and buried my face in them.

Usually, I complained to James about how annoying the rain was but now I couldn't care less.

"Who am I kidding?" I repeat to myself.

Each time I took a breath, I cried harder. I got my breakdown. I got literally everything I ever wanted since I was a child. College. Yeah, and I ruined it on the first day.

I hate myself so much.

I suddenly felt the rain stop and looked up.

A person was holding an umbrella and crouching down to look at me.

"Hey, what's wrong?" The person asked. My immediate reaction was to freeze up, hide.

I pushed it away.

"I am regretting everything." I chuckled sadly, wiping my nose on my sleeve and crying harder.

"Oh no." The person said. My eyes were too watery to make out the person.

"I think I don't want this anymore." I whispered. I didn't think the person even heard what I said because of the loud pattering of the rain.

"No, never think that." The person said. Their voice was soft and it reminded me of my mother.

"I-" Is all I can get out before crying again.

I can't do this. Help me please. Please. I beg in my head. No one answers. No one ever does.

I can feel the soft reassuring pat from the person on my back.

I calmed myself down and wiped my eyes.

I looked at the person.

She had a light blue ties in her hair and a light blue dress on. I looked up and sure enough, there was a light blue umbrella hanging over my head.

"Ha, you really like the color blue." I said, doing that weird hiccup thing after you cry. I don't know why but some tears came to my eyes and I wiped them away.

"Yeah," She smiled at me. "Yeah, I do."

Don't cry again. I tell myself as I smile back at her.

"I'm so sorry for wasting your time." I said. I felt like crying again. I buried my face in my hands.

Stop. Don't cry. Stop.

I took a few shuddering breaths, but I think they were too quick. I tried again, this time forcing it to be slower and hiccupping in the middle of breathing.

"I give up." I whisper to myself and I start crying again. My brain yells at me to stop and my heart tells me to keep going.

The person stayed so I felt little comfort in that.

"My heart tells me to get it all out," I choke out. "But my brain is yelling at me to keep it all in." I look up at the girl.

"I don't know what I'm doing." I said.

"You do, you just don't know it yet." She said, smiling.

"No, no I don't and I need help because I am so goddamn broken," I hiccup. "I can't do it."

I felt her pitying gaze on me and I wipe my eyes vigorously.

I get up, slightly hitting my head on the umbrella.

"I'm so sorry to waste your time." I say before I run off into the college. I need a place to calm myself. That girl did pretty good but I need to learn to do this myself.

"Isn't yourself what got you stuck in this breakdown first?" A familiar voice next to me said as I ran.

"Where were you when I was actually calling you this time?" I spat, hiccupping.

"You didn't need me." James said. He stopped then I did. "You had her."

He cocked his head in the rain and the girl just got up from her crouch and walked on. Thinking back, I recognized her. She was there yesterday and I think she was also there in the morning talking to John.

James searched my eyes.

"Huh. Small world." He commented.