Legacy (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 21 - Longing Or Something Else?

🟪= Self-Harm 🟥= Blood 🟫= Addiction (A/N: does it count as addiction if he keeps cutting himself???)

Alex's POV:

It was the next day and I woke up all ready. Yesterday was amazing. I got John's number and we walked again. I loved it when we walked together, it just felt right. I hope he feels the same about it too.

Yesterday I did cut myself, but that was only before John walked me home. If I wanted to do it after, it would feel wrong and I wasn't going to let that happen.

I pulled on another hoodie to cover my arms, pulling the sleeves over my hands. It was becoming a habit and I hoped no one at the college would pick up on it. It's bad enough that they don't like me, let alone know that I cut myself every day.

That couldn't happen.

I walked down the marble staircase, wondering what my cousin's job was because he had such a nice house.

"-no that cannot happen." I heard Peter say, stopping me in my tracks.

"No this has to happen, Peter." Mrs. Elizabeth said. She sounded like she was on the verge of crying. "You over work yourself and it damages me. We have a kid living under our roof now. One day it's going to start wounding him as well."

"No, it won't!" Peter yelled. "Alex doesn't care about anything but himself. He won't even notice if I worked more."

My breath hitched. Did Peter really see me like that?

Come on Alex. Can we go one day without crying?

I wasn't going to cry today. Everything would be fine. I don't want to cry today. Everything would be fine. Please don't let me cry today.

I knew what would solve this.

I slowly went back up the stairs and locked myself in the bathroom.

I grabbed the knife that was taped under the sink.

My hand shook so badly when I held it in front of my face.

I could see James in the corner of my eye, sitting on the closed toilet seat, not saying anything.

He's not stopping me. I thought hysterically as I brought the knife to my forearm. I didn't even remember rolling up my hoodie sleeve and unwrapping my bandages. That tells you how bad my addiction was.

I forced my hand to stop shaking and thought of John. John calmed me.

For being a pain in the ass. I thought as I cut my forearm right across, not bothered to make the whole tally mark thing.

The blood leaked out of the wound. I made sure that it wasn't a deep wound but it still hurt because of the previous cuttings that weren't exactly healed yet.

I held my arm over the sink so it wouldn't get on my hoodie.

Nobody needs to know.

------

I arrived at college, the campus buzzing with more activity than yesterday. Everyone was getting used to this and honestly so was I.

I pushed all of this morning's thoughts out of my head as I crossed the street.

"What's your plan today?" James asked, looking both ways even though we already crossed the street.

He was trying to win me back and I caved in.

"I have the first lesson off but I came early so I could hang out with John." I said happily.

"What if he doesn't have the first lesson off?" James asked. He was basically giving me all the things that could go wrong but I ignored him. I found a new type of confidence with John and I wasn't going to let my brother shatter it.